


Expressions

by KingCorvidae



Series: Expressions [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Pining, Slow Burn, a solid 80 percent of dialoge is taken directly from the show, episodes labeled for my own convenience, mostly canon compliant tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 13:49:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 55,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14833455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingCorvidae/pseuds/KingCorvidae
Summary: There's a certain intimacy to Steve's facial expressions and Danny starts to take notice.





	Expressions

**Author's Note:**

> *works on this for six months instead of something useful like my book* ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> this is such a dumb show but i love it anyways. also, i came into fandom right as it appears to be dying. oh well.
> 
> not technically proofread by anyone other than myself 10000 times, so if you see a typo, for the love of god tell me. if i wasn't a stone-cold dumbass i'd figure out how to break this into a couple chapters, but i am, so i'm not gonna bother at this point.

Danny Williams had absolutely no problem admitting that Steve McGarrett was an incredibly handsome man. Tall, thin, and muscular, with his high cheekbones, delicately arched nose, big eyes, and well-shaped lips, he was put together like some sort of god on earth. His face was also incredibly expressive.

Danny loved to see the big smiles that crinkled the edges of Steve’s eyes and encompassed his entire face with joy. He watched the small twists of his mouth when he was confused or skeptical, and the frowns that drew his brows down and darkened his face, making him look like the trained killer he was.

Most of all, Danny noticed the sadness that lingered in Steve’s eyes, waxing and waning, but almost always there. Danny found those looks the most significant, and sometimes he wondered if Steve’s eyes just naturally accentuated that particular emotion. Maybe it was the way his eyes turned down slightly at the outer corners. Maybe it was the heavy lids, or the thick eyelashes framing them. Possibly, it was the small frown line that was a semi-permanent feature between his eyebrows.

Whatever the reason, the longer Danny knew him, the more he began to notice the subtle expressions on Steve’s face. And eventually, Danny realized that somewhere along the line, he had fallen in love with those expressions and the man behind them as well.

 

**-1.01-**

The gun was the first thing Danny noticed about Steve. His eyes were the second. Despite Steve’s posturing and bluster, his absolute conviction that he had every right to be in that garage, his father had just been murdered, and it showed.

Danny hated him. Steve wasn’t a cop, he was just an entitled Navy SEAL who had shown up and taken over his case. Danny hated Steve as he recruited him for his Governor-approved task force, and he hated Steve as he dragged him after Doran. He especially hated him when his arm was grazed in a shootout, and Steve humiliated him in front of the other cops (even if Danny had taken a pretty low-blow at his father’s death). Danny hated him as they argued in the car and Steve continued to needle him.

And then Steve apologized. Actually, sincerely apologized, and suddenly those sad eyes were back, and they were looking right at him, and Danny felt himself give a little.

“Your, uh, apology is noted. Acceptance is pending.” He said.

“You let me know, now.” Steve murmured. God, it was like being stared at by a kicked puppy.

“Yeah. I’ll let you know.”

By the time the case was closed, Danny wouldn’t have said he liked Steve, but he definitely didn’t hate him. The hotel tickets Steve had gotten for him and Grace might have had something to do with it.

**-1.08-**

Danny excused himself from Amy as the team walked in the door. He wasn’t terribly surprised to see Chin and Kono, as they had both known Meka from the force, but Steve didn’t really have a reason to be there.

“What are you guys doing here?” He asked.

“We came to pay our respects.” Chin said. “You all right?” Danny gave him a small smile.

“Yeah. Thank you.” He clapped Chin on the arm as he went by, stopping to greet Kono as well, before he reached Steve. He sighed heavily as he looked him over. Steve was wearing his full dress uniform.

“I appreciate you being here.” Danny told him quietly. “I know you didn’t know him.” Steve briefly looked away before meeting Danny’s gaze again, his eyes soft and his lips just barely lifted into a tiny smile.

“I know you.” He replied. Danny glanced at the floor as a wave of gratitude and affection for Steve washed over him.

“Thank you.” Danny tilted his head towards the rest of the team. “Come on.” He said as he led Steve over to meet Amy.

**-1.23-**

It felt like a thick band was tightening around his chest and constricting his lungs as Danny stumbled out of the house. He slumped against the gate and Steve was at his side in seconds, yelling his name, his eyes wide and panicked as he tried to figure out what was wrong.

Danny was almost glad when he lost consciousness. He didn’t want to see that desperate look on Steve’s face ever again.

The next thing Danny was aware of was Steve gently whispering his name as he dropped Grace off to stay with him until Rachel got back from her trip. Danny happily saw to his daughter as Steve watched them with a tender expression until he finally left to pursue the case.

When Steve dropped by to check on him again, he seemed shocked to find Rachel asleep on his chest. Danny could have sworn a flash of devastation crossed over Steve’s face, but it was so brief that Danny wasn’t sure he wasn’t just seeing things.

He did feel a little bad when Steve confronted him about the shift in his and Rachel’s relationship, his expression quietly hurt as he wondered if Danny had ever been planning on telling him, but Danny managed to deflect the conversation and drag Steve into a hug. Steve wrapped his entire body around Danny in an enthusiastic embrace, his chin tucked into Danny’s shoulder as Danny patted him on the back.

The moment was broken as Sang Min strolled into the main office, and Danny quickly forgot about the hurt look in Steve’s eyes.

**-1.24-**

It had been one of the most stressful days of Danny’s life.

Somehow everything had managed to go wrong at once. Rachel and Grace were leaving, Wo Fat was back with a vengeance, Kono was suspended pending investigation, Jameson was dead, and Steve was in jail.

The helplessness was overwhelming and Danny didn’t know where to start. It only added insult to injury to see Chin leading Steve away in cuffs. Danny knew it wasn’t fair to accuse Chin of being disloyal, especially since Five-0 was effectively disbanded, but the hurt and betrayal he felt seeing his friend arrest their former boss was a little too much to handle.

Danny was terrified. He knew Steve was innocent but he didn’t know how to prove it. He tried to reassure Steve that he would get him out of it, that he would fix it, but he had no idea if he was going to be able to keep that promise. 

Danny met Steve’s eyes through the window of the squad car and his heart broke. Steve looked so young in the back of the car, the panic and confusion clear on his face as he stared back at Danny with wide eyes.

As Danny helplessly watched the car pull away, he wondered exactly when he had started to care so much about Hawaii and the people he had met there.

**-2.01-**

Harboring a fugitive of the law was one of the stupidest things Danny had ever done in his life. Even if that fugitive was Steve.

Steve was injured, barely held together by a patch job from a mortician (though Danny was sure Max would strongly object to being called that), and all Danny wanted to do was take him home and wrap him in a blanket until he was healed. But Steve was hellbent on proving his innocence as soon as possible, so here they were, Danny smuggling Steve to Kamekona’s while Chin and Max disposed of the stolen squad car.

And despite everything that was happening, Steve was still worried about Danny’s situation with Rachel. As Danny ended his phone call with Grace, Steve immediately started questioning him about what had happened. Danny reluctantly told him how Rachel had been further along than she’d originally thought. He didn’t mention that even if the baby had been his, he and Rachel would probably still have had too many problems to last. The chance to see Grace more than three days every two weeks was also a huge motivating factor in his spur of the moment decision to fly back to New Jersey.

“Would you get down, please? Would you please get down?” Danny finally begged, not really wanting to talk about his screwed-up family affairs while they were on the run.

“I’m sorry, Danny.” Something in Steve’s tone made Danny glance in the rear-view mirror and he immediately regretted it. Steve’s entire face was soft and his eyebrows were tilted in sympathy, the little crease in between them pronounced with worry, and Jesus Christ, if Steve didn’t stop looking at him like that, Danny was going to crash the car.

“I’m fine. It didn’t work out the first time, so who’s to say this time would be any different, right? Please don’t look at me like that. I said I’m fine. I’m asking you not to give me that look, okay? I’m more worried about my car, okay?” The look didn’t stop. Danny sighed. Maybe he had been hoping that it would work out with Rachel, for Grace’s sake if nothing else, but if brushing it off made Steve quit giving him those sad eyes, Danny would tell him anything.

**-2.09-**

Steve yawned and stretched in his chair, reaching his arms above his head and arching his back as Danny tried not to watch too closely.

“I’m going to bed. You need anything?” Steve asked.

“I’m good.” Danny told him. He pulled out the old clothes he was using as pajamas and suddenly noticed that there was a large hole in the crotch of the pants. “Ah, damn it. How did I not see this?”

“Hang on, I’ve got some spares you can sleep in.” Steve said, getting up and jogging upstairs. After a minute, he came back down and passed Danny a pair of sweats and a tee that looked suspiciously like Danny’s own. As he shook them out, Danny realized that it was because they _were_ his.

“How the hell did my clothes end up in your dresser?” Danny asked. Steve shrugged, looking supremely unconcerned.

“Not sure. You probably spilled something, and I gave you something to wear and just threw yours in the wash and forgot about it.” He said. Danny squinted at him, unsure if Steve was calling him messy or not.

“Uh-huh.”

“Hey, it could happen. I’m sure you’ve walked off with something of mine at some point.” Steve said. Danny looked away. He knew for a fact that one of Steve’s old shirts was buried in the bottom of one of his bags. Steve had forgotten the blood-soaked shirt in Danny’s car after changing out of it at a crime scene. Danny had washed it, but for some reason he’d never gotten around to returning it. He had no idea why he kept it. “There’s a change of clothes for me in the Camaro.” Steve continued.

“That’s because you put them there. Along with a bunch of guns.” Danny pointed out. Steve grinned crookedly.

“Well, they’re still mine, and they’re in your car. You can keep a change in the truck if you want. And here. You should probably just keep something here, too.” Danny stared at Steve, wondering if the man realized that he had just offered Danny closet space in his house, but Steve just looked back at him with bright eyes and an earnest expression. “I’ll clear out a drawer for you.” He said with finality.

Danny suddenly felt light-headed. He grabbed his clothes and ran into the bathroom to change. As he pulled the sweats on with trembling hands, he wondered if Steve realized the implications of what he had offered. He shook his head at himself. Of course Steve didn’t know. He was just being a good friend, always going above and beyond for the people he cared about. Steve wasn’t thinking like that, and Danny needed to get a grip on himself before he did something stupid. He quickly tugged the shirt on and walked back out to the living room where Steve was still puttering around. He looked up and smiled as Danny entered the room.

“All set?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Anytime. Night, Danno.” Danny watched him until he disappeared into his room before collapsing onto the couch, pulling a blanket over himself, and flicking on the TV. He’d been trying not to have it on, knowing how much it bothered Steve, but there was no way he’d be able to sleep without it tonight, not with the ocean breaking loudly a few dozen feet away and his confusion over Steve running rampant through his head. He only regretted it a little when Steve came down several hours later to yell at him for having it on. Thankfully, their argument was cut short when Steve’s phone rang with a call to a case.

Later that day, when Danny found the headphones Steve had bought for him on his desk, and Steve quickly shot down his suggestion of moving to a house down the street from him, Danny almost wondered if Steve didn’t actually want him to leave. He quickly pushed that thought out of his head, telling himself not to read so much into things, and focused on the fact that Lori was walking down the hall in a very unusual outfit instead.

**-2.10-**

Of all the times Danny had panicked in his life, Steve not answering his phone after leaving for North Korea was probably rated in the top five. A knot had formed in his stomach minutes after Steve had walked out of headquarters, and it had only grown tighter the longer he was gone. By the time he was jumping out of a helicopter in North Korea, his stomach felt ready to explode. His worry for Steve was combining with the anger he felt towards Jenna for dragging them into this situation. The subsequent guilt that hit him when they found her body and had to leave her there was only made worse by the fact that he was quietly relieved that Steve wasn’t lying next to her.

The rush of relief he felt as he lifted up the tarp and saw Steve slumped in the corner was indescribable. He was bruised and bloody, barefoot and bare-chested, and his eyes were sadder than Danny had ever seen them as he blinked in the sudden light. In the seconds before Steve’s head jerked towards him, his gaze was unfocused, hopelessly empty, and Danny knew that Steve thought he was going to die.

“Hey, it’s Steve! I got Steve! He’s alive!” He yelled out to the rest of the team, climbing into the back of the truck so he could untie Steve.

“Danny.” Steve said, obviously shocked to see him. Danny started unwrapping the rope from around Steve’s wrists as Steve stared up at him, disbelief and wonder clear in his eyes. “Where’s Wo Fat?” He asked weakly.

“Just shut up, would you?” Danny commanded. “Come on.” He helped Steve out of the truck, but the knot in his stomach didn’t dissipate entirely until they were lifting off the ground, Steve firmly secured between Joe’s legs.

Later, while they were waiting for their plane back to Hawaii, Danny dragged Steve into the bathroom and set about cleaning him up. He forced Steve to sit as he gently wiped away the dried blood and sweat, wetting a paper towel with cool water and instructing Steve to hold it over the cut on his cheek.

“Blow.” He said, holding a bit of tissue up to Steve’s bruised nose.

“Gross, Danny.” Steve complained, but he obediently blew his nose, wincing slightly when Danny wiped away the resulting clots of blood.

“There.” Danny lightly tapped Steve under the chin. “Almost as good as new. Just for the record, I still wish you’d gone to, you know, an actual hospital, instead of having me play nurse.” Steve gave him a lopsided smile.

“I know. Nothing’s broken, though. It looks worse than it is.” Danny scoffed.

“Yeah, sure, those burn marks look like they were a barrel of fun to get. And that bruising? Maybe nothing’s broken, but you could - you could be bleeding internally and we wouldn’t know it until we were halfway across the Pacific ocean, and suddenly you’re bleeding out on some nice stewardess’s uniform!” He stopped his rant as Steve closed his eyes and leaned against the stall, a small smile still on his lips. Danny felt himself melt and he put a hand on Steve’s knee. “Are you okay, Steve? I mean, not, uh, physically, but…” He trailed off as Steve covered his hand with his own, the crease between his brows deepening.

“I thought that was it.” Steve said quietly. “I didn’t think I’d see you, any of you, again.”

“You, uh, had to know we’d come for you.”

“It’s not like this was right down the street from headquarters.” Steve pointed out. Danny squeezed Steve’s knee before standing and pressing a quick kiss to his forehead.

“We’ll always come for you, Steve. We got your back, buddy. _I’ve_ got your back.” Steve stared up at him with wide eyes.

“Okay, Danny.” He finally said, and then a crooked grin spread across his face as he tilted his head to the side. “I did think about you the entire time.” He teased. Danny clapped him gently on the shoulder even as his stomach squirmed at Steve’s words.

“Come on, you big goof. You don’t look like you were in a, uh, B-movie horror so much anymore. Don’t wanna miss our plane.” Steve nodded and stood stiffly. He stuck close to Danny’s side, and Danny could feel their arms brushing together all the way to the gate.

**-2.14-**

Standing in front of the window, looking at Rachel and Stan’s son, Danny could feel Steve’s gaze on the side of his face. He stubbornly refused to look at the other man. He already knew what look Steve was giving him, eyebrows drawn up in sympathy, a small pout on his lips, and worry swimming in his eyes. There was no way Danny could look at that expression right now and not completely lose it. He stared resolutely through the glass, ignoring the sad face Steve was giving him.

“You hungry?” Steve finally asked.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll buy you a Zip Pac. C’mon, my treat.” Steve patted Danny on the shoulder as he began to walk away. With one last look at the baby, Danny turned and followed his friend. Steve was only trying to help, after all.

**-2.19-**

Mary showing up out of the blue, with a job no less, was a surprise to everyone. Steve seemed pleased, if a little confused, that she was there, but he happily led her to the house.

“So… so, you guys are, like, surf buddies now, huh?” Mary asked, pointing between the two of them.

“Uh, yeah, kind of.” Steve said, offering her a cup of coffee.

So cute.” Mary gushed, accepting the cup from Steve and shooting Danny a mischievous grin that was far too knowing. Danny looked at the table to avoid her gaze, before looking back up at Steve as he began questioning Mary about her new job. Danny was a little hurt by Steve’s apparent reluctance to admit that they hung out together outside of work, and he ended up stealing Mary’s abandoned coffee in retaliation as Steve continued to ignore him in favor of talking to his sister.

“Excuse me.” Danny said as soon as Mary was out of the room.

“Yeah.” Steve whipped towards him.

“So we are ‘kind of surf buddies’ now?” Danny asked casually. Steve gave him a puzzled frown, ducking his head to squint at Danny as he tried to figure out if Danny was being serious or not.

“You sensitive right now?”

“Yeah, little bit.” Danny confirmed. One of Steve’s eyebrows quirked up slightly and he gave Danny a confused half-smile at the admission, but he turned away with a small laugh, obviously deciding Danny was joking. Danny sipped his stolen coffee and stared after him, resolving to be as annoying as possible for the rest of the day.

  **-3.01-**

Danny was furious with the world. He was furious with Rachel for trying to take his daughter away from him. He was outraged that Chin had lost Malia, his friend’s sorrow and anger palpable in its intensity and contagious in its depth. But right now, he was absolutely incensed that the woman who had hurt Steve and lied to him for twenty years was sitting in the passenger seat of his Camaro and prying into his life.

Steve was busy defending Chin’s decision to release Delano while Danny suffered the third degree from his mother in a hushed tone.

“You married?” Doris asked.

“Uh, no, not anymore.”

“Kids?”

“I do, I have a daughter named Grace. Best thing that came out of my marriage.” Danny said.

“You ever think about going for round two?”

“I’d actually rather get kicked in the face with a golf shoe.”

“So, what, you’ve taken a vow of celibacy or…?”

“No, I didn’t say that.” Danny denied. “I am seeing somebody. Just - we’re just taking it very slowly.”

“Yeah, well, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free, right?” Doris scoffed. Danny sent a desperate glance towards the back of Steve’s head.

“This is getting very personal, don’t you think?” He muttered.

“Don’t you want your daughter to see you in a healthy relationship?” She pressed.

“Uh, respectfully, I don’t think you are in a position to be giving me parenting advice.” Danny pointed out.

“You know what I think, Danno?” Danny winced at the nickname. “I think that you’re afraid of commitment.”

“That’s incorrect, and I prefer Danny.”

“Oh, really? ‘Cause that’s not what I heard my son call you. He must think you like it.” Danny sent another glance towards Steve, his throat suddenly tight.

“Oh, he thinks a lot of things that aren’t true. He’s delusional, actually, which, by the way, no offense to the gene pool. I’m sure he’s just a one-off.” Danny deflected. He almost yelled in relief when Steve ended his call with the governor.

Steve’s eyes were hard with anger at the request for a full inquiry, but even from the rear view mirror, Danny could see the tightness around the skin that indicated Steve’s confusion and the sad tilt of his brows. He wanted to reach out and smooth all those lines away, but Doris was in the car, and Danny wouldn’t have been able to do it even if she wasn’t there. He looked out the window and focused his mind back on the case.

After Doris’ plane had left, after Danny had voiced his confusion about why she hadn’t just killed Wo Fat, Steve had simply gotten into the Camaro and driven them both to his house.

Steve didn’t say a word the entire drive, just frowned at the road and herded Danny into his house when they arrived. He turned on the TV, disappeared into the kitchen and returned with beers, passing one to Danny before collapsing on the couch. Danny hesitantly sat on the other side, concentrating hard on the screen.

Danny was still a little angry with Steve for suggesting that Grace would lose no matter who won the custody battle. He wasn’t exactly wrong, but it still hurt to hear his best friend say that he should just consider moving with her, no matter how miserable Steve had looked while saying it. Danny glanced over at Steve and sighed when he saw him slumped against the arm of the couch with his eyes closed and his mouth slack. He reached over and removed the beer bottle from Steve’s loose grip, before standing and ever-so-carefully easing Steve down so he was stretched out on the couch. He spread a blanket over Steve’s legs and brushed a hand over his dark hair.

“You’re probably gonna wake up with a hell of a stiff neck, you giraffe.” Danny muttered fondly. He watched as Steve frowned and pressed his cheek harder into the cushions. A small knot formed in his throat at the distress that showed on Steve’s face even while he was asleep. “Sweet dreams, babe.” Danny whispered. He let himself out quietly, resolving to make sure they had at least one conversation about how Doris being back was affecting Steve.

Danny did worry about him sometimes.

**-3.03-**

Steve was a danger magnet. Danny only felt bad about informing him of this about a quarter of the time, but the man had somehow managed to almost get them shot, stranded in the ocean, and eaten by a shark _on his day off_. Danny felt the title was more than well-deserved. But, Steve had looked incredibly disappointed that their fishing trip had turned out the way it did, had apologized, and since Danny thought it was kind of sweet that Steve had wanted to go fishing with him in the first place, he forgave him.

And if the puppy-dog eyes Steve gave him had something to do with that forgiveness, Danny wasn’t going to admit it.

**-3.06-**

A little red spot of light shouldn’t have been so terrifying, but Danny’s whole world was frozen in fear. He was going to die. He was going to die, he wasn’t going to be able to dance with Grace, and Steve, the idiot, was going to die too.

“All right, Steve, get out of here.” Danny begged. “Go on.”

“Forget about it.” Steve said, shaking his head.

“He’s right. You better go.” The bomb tech piped in.

“I said forget about it, all right?” Steve was giving Danny one of his looks, the fear in his eyes overly apparent.

“Do me a favor and go, please. If something happens, I need you to take care of Grace. Now go.” Danny tried again. Steve still refused.

“That’s your job, pal. Okay? You’re her dad.” Their eyes met and Danny felt his throat close with emotion at the thought of this man dying because he wanted to offer Danny comfort in his final moments. He blinked hard, took a deep breath, and… the beeping stopped.

“Done.” The technician announced.

“Done? Can I move, done?” Danny asked.

“Clear.” The tech confirmed. Danny let out a breath and bent over, panting hard. He looked up at Steve.

“Thank you. I, uh… I’d offer to take you for a beer, but I got somewhere I gotta be.”

“Next time, right?” Steve joked, his face still tight with worry.

“Yeah, next time. Let’s hope there’s not a next time.” A shaky laugh escaped him as he watched Steve pace for a moment. “Hey. Thanks for sticking around.” Danny said. Steve’s eyes looked wet as he walked towards him, bending slightly to let Danny throw his arms around his neck. Danny laughed again as Steve squeezed him hard, rocking back and forth ever so slightly as he clung to Danny. Danny patted the Steve’s back and pulled away, avoiding Steve’s eyes as he made his excuses and left.

He didn’t have time to analyze the ball of emotions in his chest, or the pained look on Steve’s face while the bomb was ticking. Grace was waiting for him, after all.

**-3.10-**

There was very little that could have made Danny hate camping more than he already did, so getting shot and watching Steve and an innocent little girl get abducted at gunpoint was, he thought, overkill.

Danny saw the contained panic in Steve’s eyes as he begged for Lucy to be left behind, the fear as he dropped to Danny’s side seconds after the gun went off, a comforting hand on his thigh as he quickly assessed the wound. He saw the stony anger in Steve’s eyes as he was forced away without being able to treat Danny’s wound. Their eyes locked as Danny herded the rest of the girls into the storage shed.

“Keep her safe.” Danny said. _Keep yourself safe_ , he didn’t say, but Steve’s eyes softened a little and Danny knew he heard it anyways.

“I got it.” Steve murmured.

“Let’s GO!” Ron yelled, the gun waving in the air. “Let’s go! Come on, lock it up!”

“All right.” Steve gently patted Danny on the arm. “I’ll see you guys soon, okay?” Danny nodded and, with a pit in his stomach, turned to comfort the girls as the door locked behind him.

He was grateful for Madeline’s help with his arm, relieved as Grace managed to slip out under the floorboards and unlock the door, and devastated as he realized Ron had cut the spark plug wires. He profusely thanked whatever was watching that Riley knew as much as she did about phones. A little of the weight lifted off his chest as they managed to contact Chin and Kono and they set off to recover Steve and Lucy. The weight came back when he heard the gunshots ring out through the trees.

He bolted, making his way through the jungle as fast as he could, trying desperately not to break his neck on the endless number of vines and rocks that stuck out of the trail. He pulled up as he reached the river, his heart in his throat as he saw Steve lying defenseless on the rocks with Ron’s accomplice pointing his gun directly at him. Danny didn’t hesitate to pull the trigger. He barely registered Steve’s surprised look as he watched the man fall to the ground.

“Where’s Lucy? Where is she?” Steve asked immediately.

“She’s fine.” Danny reassured him. “Chin called. He’s got her, she’s safe. You all right?”

“Yeah. You?”

“Me? I’m fantastic. You know, on the plus side, we’ve figured out that camping is terrible, as I’ve always believed.” Danny said as he picked his way over the rocks towards Steve.

“Are you kidding me? These girls are never, ever gonna forget this experience.”

“Yeah, I’m hoping that they’re repressing the memories as we speak.” Danny grumbled, offering Steve his hand.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

“So, how’s the arm?”

“It also hates camping.” Danny informed him. He stopped halfway up the riverbank and pulled Steve close, wiping the blood off his lips with his thumb and giving him what he hoped was a disapproving look.

“Don’t do that again.” He scolded. “I was terrified.” Steve had the good grace to look ashamed.

“You know I don’t do it on purpose, Danny.” Danny dropped his hand to Steve’s shoulder and squeezed.

“I know… but still.” Steve gave him his little half smile and turned back towards the trail. Danny followed him and absolutely did not think about what would have happened if he’d arrived even one second later. Camping was bad enough without thinking about what-if’s.

**-3.14-**

Danny stared at the courthouse floor, nausea and nerves stuck together in the back of his throat as he waited for the custody hearing to begin. Despite having a speech written out and Steve on his way for support, Danny still felt woefully under-prepared. His daughter… this was his daughter on the line. If he lost this case, he didn’t even want to think about what would happen after that.

“Hey.” Steve arrived, a vision in his full dress uniform, and Danny drank in the sight, welcoming the distraction.

“Wow. You, uh, look, uh, very nice. Suit and tie, that’s good.” He stammered. Steve gave him a small smile.

“It’s for you. Wore it for you.” Even with his anxiety, Danny still felt a small thrill go through him at the words.

“Thank you.” He said, feeling idiotic.

“All right.” Steve said, sitting down and placing his hat on the bench next to him. Danny immediately zeroed in on Steve’s tie, desperate for any distraction from the upcoming trial. “Hey, hey! What are you doing?” Steve asked, jerking back as Danny reached for him.

“Is that a clip-on?” Danny demanded. He knew full well it wasn’t, but he just couldn’t think about the hearing.

“It’s not a clip-on.” Steve denied. “Are you- what did I just say to you?” He leaned away again as Danny reached for his tie once more.

“Your tie’s all jacked up. Can I fix it, please?” Steve glanced down the hall behind him, but allowed him to start adjusting the knot. Danny looked back the way Steve had just out of habit. “Come here, come here.”

“I’m here.” Steve murmured, and Danny knew that he was reassuring him that he was there for Danny during the trial. “Okay, thanks.” Steve said as Danny finished his fussing and patted Steve on the arm.

“Thought nobody wore a tie in Hawaii.” Danny teased.

“No, they don’t, but, y’know, it’s a special day, so I thought I’d wear one.” Steve replied, his eyes soft as he met Danny’s. Danny quickly lowered his gaze. “Plus, I’m wearing my dress blues. They’d make me walk the plank if I don’t wear a tie with the dress blues.” Steve added, one corner of his mouth quirking up slightly.

“How come the blues are black?” Danny asked.

“I know they’re black. I never knew - I don’t know…” Steve considered his pants for a moment and Danny let out a heavy sigh.

“Thank you very much for being here. It means a lot, okay?” He said quickly.

“You’re welcome. You’d do the same for me.” Steve said quietly. “All right, you ready?”

“Yeah, I’m good. I got, uh… the speech all prepared, everything’s… good.” Danny felt his heart jump back into his throat as he spoke.

“Good.”

“Tell you something, they take her away from me, I’m jumping off a cliff _today_.” Danny said. He was only half-joking and he carefully avoided Steve’s eyes again.

“Hey, hey, hey. That’s not gonna happen, okay?” Steve’s voice was gentle, but Danny could hear the worry in it.

“Okay. Mm-hmm.”

“Danny.”

“Okay.” He muttered, finally looking at Steve and giving him a thin smile.

“All right? That’s not gonna happen.” Steve said firmly. Danny looked at him, noticed the tight lines of concern around his eyes, and quickly looked away again. “That’s not gonna happen, all right?” Steve repeated, clapping Danny on the back.

They sat in silence until the hearing was called. Steve stood with Danny and followed him into the courtroom, forehead still creased with concern. Danny sent up a silent ‘thank you’ that Steve would be sitting behind him so he wouldn’t have to look at those eyes while he tried to fight for his daughter.

Danny wondered later, after the judge had ruled in his favor, and they were relaxing by the beach, if he should apologize for his comment about the cliff. He looked at Steve, and Steve, catching his gaze, gave him a brilliant smile. Danny smiled back, settled into his chair, and returned his eyes to the ocean. There was no need to bring that sad look back into Steve’s eyes if he didn’t have to.

**-3.15-**

Danny watched Steve stare blankly at the road as he drove, his face closed off and angry.

“You all right?” He finally asked.

“Yeah.” Steve’s voice was hard.

“Keoki had a lot of friends, huh?” Danny tried again, hoping to draw Steve out of his head before his mood became too dark.

“Yep. Good men always do.”

“What about, uh, what about family? He got a big family?”

“Keoki’s wife walked out on him when I was a kid. Ben, he was such an optimist, you know, he used to… he used to set a place for her at the dinner table every night. Even kept the porch light on in case she changed her mind, you know. But, um… she never did. She didn’t come back.” Steve explained.

“They have kids?”

“A daughter. Chelsea. She was, um… she was the same age as me. We were pretty tight, actually, back then.”

“We should try to contact her, see what-”

“She died four years ago.” Steve interrupted. “Breast cancer.”

“Wow.” Danny wasn’t sure if the conversation was helping at all, but Steve continued.

“I was deployed overseas when I heard, and… I was going to look Keoki up when I came back. You know what I mean, convey my condolences, make sure he was doing okay, just check on him, you know? But… time slips away, Danny. It just, it disappears and I, I don’t know, I waited too long.” Steve was starting to ramble and Danny felt helpless as he watched Steve’s face close off even more.

“No, stop. Please, okay. You got busy. People get busy. That is part of the job. Guaranteed, Keoki knew that. He also knew that you cared about him, okay?” Danny tried desperately to reassure his friend, not wanting to see his eyes so shuttered and blank for even a second longer, but Steve’s phone rang and Danny reluctantly let the conversation go as Kono updated them on their suspect.

By the time they figured out Steve was next on the list of targets, it was almost too late as the man started firing on them seconds after Steve opened the drawer and pulled out the picture. When Steve decided to play the martyr and draw the fire away from them, Danny ran out into the street to cover him without a second thought. Thankfully, Kono was an incredible shot and managed to take out Stoner before he could hit any of them. Steve stormed back in their direction as soon as he realized the hail of bullets had ended.

“What was that?” He yelled at Danny, hands spread wide and a deep frown on his face. “What are you, Scarface? What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know, I guess I misinterpreted your game plan, which, for the record, was seriously flawed.” Danny pointed out. Steve glanced up at the building Stoner had been shooting from, a small, pleased smile spreading across his face.

“You were worried about me.” He realized.

“Worried? No, no, I was worried about my car.” Danny denied. Steve gave him a wide grin.

“I’m touched.”

“Yeah, you’re touched. You’re touched in the head. You are touched by something that I cannot explain.” Danny retorted, a little embarrassed now that he’d lost his cool and run out into the street like that. “And so you know, there are a lot of things on this planet that I am worried about. Losing you in a combat situation is not one of them. Okay?” He added, just to see the happy glint come into Steve’s eyes again.

**-3.20-**

“So, how’d the exchange go?”

“Came off without a hitch.” Catherine reassured him.

“Wow. Washington actually did something right. That’s nice. How’s my boy?” Danny asked. He’d been fretting for days about Steve’s mood. Catherine let out a sigh over the phone.

“Well, as well as can be expected. Those two were like brothers.” Danny nodded to himself. Her answer wasn’t surprising.

“All right, will you tell him I got a big plate of wings from Side Street waiting for him here on me, okay?”

“Roger that. We land in San Jose in about 18 hours. We’ll give you a call when we touch down.”

“Have a safe flight.”

“All right.” Catherine said. Danny sighed as he hung up the phone, hoping that there wouldn’t be too much emotional fallout from this mission. He hated seeing Steve so broken up over his friend.

Days later, Danny watched as Steve spoke first to Kelly and then to her daughter. He watched as Steve knelt in his full Navy regalia to present the little girl with her father’s dog tags, slipping them gently over her small head and trying to give her a smile. He watched as Steve stood and met his gaze from across the field, his heart aching at the pain that was clearly etched on Steve’s face. Steve looked at him for a moment before he turned away and began walking quickly towards the parking lot. Danny quietly gave his excuses to Kono and Chin and made his way to his car. After a moment’s deliberation, he decided to go home and change before checking in on Steve.

An hour later, Danny knocked on Steve’s door. He frowned as a minute passed and there was no answer. Knocking again, he checked that Steve’s truck was actually there, and yes, it was parked in the driveway. Danny reached for the doorknob and found it was unlocked. He bit his lip and hesitated, sighing before he opened the door.

“Hello? Steve? You here, buddy?” Danny’s apprehension ratcheted up another notch when there was still no answer. He pushed his way inside and felt a burst of relief as he saw Steve sitting on the couch in the living room. The relief quickly disappeared as he realized that Steve was surrounded by empty beer bottles, changed out of his uniform and staring at a TV that wasn’t even on. “Steve?” He tried again. The other man still didn’t respond.

Moving to sit next to him, Danny noticed the tear tracks on his face. Steve closed his eyes as Danny stared at him, and Danny finally reached out and put a tentative hand on Steve’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry. If - if there’s anything I can-”

“They mutilated him.” Steve interrupted. Danny almost jumped at the harsh tone.

“What?”

“They mutilated him. They… he was already dead, but they had to… they had to desecrate his body like he was, like he was _nothing_!” Danny swallowed hard, his heart breaking all over again at the hurt and loss in Steve’s voice. He slid his hand from Steve’s shoulder, leaning into his friend and wrapping an arm around him.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered.

“Me too. He was a good man. The best. He… he shouldn’t have died.” Steve was starting to slur his words and Danny felt Steve start to lean into him. He ran his hand up and down Steve’s back soothingly, watching as he blinked slowly at the floor. “He shouldn’t have died.” Steve repeated. Danny gave him a small one-armed hug and stood up.

“C’mon. Let’s just… let’s just get you to bed.” He suggested. Steve looked up at him with watery eyes and wet lashes, his mouth open slightly as he stared at Danny without moving. “C’mon, babe. You’re drunk, you’re tired. I - I know you’re hurting, but a good night’s sleep… it’ll help, I promise.” Steve slowly shook his head and broke eye contact. “Steve…”

Danny’s breath left him in a rush as Steve suddenly tilted forward and pressed his face into Danny’s stomach, lifting his arms to wrap them around his waist. Danny froze for a solid ten seconds before he slowly lifted his own arms and wrapped them around Steve’s shoulders. Danny closed his eyes as he felt a dampness spread across his shirt and realized Steve was crying again.

“I miss him. Miss him so much.” Steve’s voice was muffled and Danny clutched at his shoulders firmly.

“I know. Let’s just, uh, get you to bed. Please.” Steve sniffed hard and stood abruptly, almost knocking Danny over.

“Okay.” He didn’t move until Danny tugged at his arm, following him up the stairs on unsteady legs. Danny let Steve topple onto his bed, unable to hold the bigger man up any longer as he finally collapsed against him. He bent to remove Steve’s shoes, trying to ignore the sad eyes drilling a hole into the side of his face.

“Go to sleep.” He ordered, throwing Steve’s boots on the floor and pulling the top-sheet over him. Steve continued to stare at him, but his eyes were drooping with exhaustion, and Danny finally perched on the edge of the bed. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll stay.” He muttered. One corner of Steve’s mouth curled up slightly and his eyes closed.

Danny stayed there until Steve’s breathing had evened out, watching as his chest rose and fell rhythmically, and his forehead slowly eased out of its tight frown. Twenty minutes passed before Danny finally stood and let himself out of the house. He stood by the door for a moment, before locking it and closing it firmly behind him. If Steve wanted to talk after he’d slept, Danny would be there in the morning.

**-3.22-**

Danny sat alone in his apartment with the volume on the TV blasting, stewing over their latest case, and desperately wishing that Grace was there. After the ordeal that had resulted in Amanda Morris’ death and the kidnapping and eventual rescue of Ella, Danny wanted nothing more than to have Grace nearby where he could see her. The hug he’d gotten from her earlier hadn’t really done anything to ease the terror that the case had planted in his chest.

He slumped onto his side and stared listlessly at the screen, wondering if, despite the late hour, Rachel would let him talk to Grace if he called. He was off the couch and looking for his phone when someone knocked on the door. Grumbling to himself about the time and common decency, he opened it to find Steve standing there with a six-pack and a sympathetic look.

“Hey. Thought you might want some company.” He held up the beers. “I brought beer.”

“Uh, wow, must be a special occasion if you’re providing the drinks.” Danny said to cover his surprise at the late night visit. Steve snorted.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, I’m cheap. You gonna let me in or not?” Danny rolled his eyes and let him in.

“You didn’t think that, after such a traumatic day, I might just be, you know, sleeping?” He asked, watching Steve as he sprawled over half his couch.

“Nah, I know you. Knew you’d be too wired up to sleep. Figured you could use a distraction from that busy brain of yours.” He smiled up at Danny and waved a beer at him.

“My busy… a call would have been nice.” Danny said, even as he took the beer and sat next to Steve. “A text even.”

“Sure, I’ll remember that for next time. What are we watching?”

“Uh. Nothing.” Danny frowned at the infomercial playing on the TV, something about gold coins being a better investment for the future. After a moment, Steve nudged him.

“Hey. You okay?”

“Huh? Oh. Yeah, I… yeah. I’m okay.”

“Really? ‘Cause you don’t look it.” Danny glanced at Steve, noting the sympathetic look was back with a vengeance, his face open and inviting Danny to talk. Danny heaved a sigh and leaned into the cushions, tilting his head back to stare at the ceiling.

“I just feel like I’m not doing enough, y’know?”

“Doing enough about what?”

“Grace. I… Amanda’s parents, they - they missed out on her whole life. It wasn’t their fault, but they didn’t get to see her grow up.”

“Okay…” Steve said slowly. “It’s terrible what they went through, but what’s it got to do with you?” Danny squeezed his eyes shut, unwilling to risk catching even a glimpse of Steve’s face as he spoke.

“I feel like I’m not there enough for Grace, like I’m missing out on some of the most important things in her life ‘cause I’m not around that much.”

“Danny, no, you’re always there for her.” Steve protested immediately. Danny flapped a hand at him blindly.

“I could be there more. I could be better.”

“You are better. You… you’re the best father I know.” That made Danny open his eyes and turn towards Steve. His reply died on his lips as he looked at Steve’s expression, his big eyes soft and genuine, a lingering sadness creeping into their corners.

“You think so?” Danny finally managed to choke out.

“I know so.” Steve answered firmly. He turned back to the TV, leaving Danny to stare at him dumbly. Minutes passed before Danny could tear his eyes away from Steve. He took another drink and watched the TV play without seeing any of it.

“Thanks.” He muttered, not sure if Steve could even hear him over the volume, but the other man replied just as softly.

“Sure, Danny. Any time.”

**-3.23-**

“You know, I never figured you the type to geek out on magic.” Danny said, watching Steve from across his desk. “You of all people… well, I guess at the end of the day it makes sense, you know? Magic and secrets, they go together.” Steve pinned him with an unimpressed look.

“What’s your point?” He asked bluntly.

“No, no, no, no point. I just, uh, makes me wonder what - what else I don’t know about you.” Danny didn’t miss the hurt look that settled across Steve’s face, but his phone rang before Danny could address it.

“It’s Gabby.” Danny announced.

“Take the call, answer it.” Danny hesitated.“You don’t want to talk to her?” Steve asked.

“No, she probably just wants to, uh, apologize again about how poorly she treated me, about her bad behavior.”

“Bad behavior?” Danny hummed in agreement. “You’re just gonna punish her?” Steve sounded incredulous. Danny shrugged, about to respond when Max entered the office, and then they were too busy trying to protect Kono for Danny to think about the conversation any more than that.

  **-4.04-**

“Well, this goes to show you why people should never, under any circumstances, get married.” Danny said. He regretted it almost immediately, but Steve just let out a small laugh.

“Why? In case you marry a con artist who’s after all your money?”

“No, Steve. Because people are never who they say they are. And even if they are, they end up changing. Relationships, they don’t work. They don’t last forever. Bottom line. That’s it.” Sometimes Danny wondered if if wouldn’t be better if he just ripped out his tongue. Steve looked at him, concern clear on his face.

“What has gotten into you today?”

“Uh, Gabby, she was offered a six-month curatorship in Denver, Colorado.” Danny explained. Steve’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief.

“Oh! Oh, well, why didn’t you say so? That is terrible.”

“Well, it is terrible considering the last time she left for a job, she almost didn’t come back.” Danny pointed out.

“Ah. Okay. Can’t really tell her not to take the job, either.” Steve said, finally catching on to Danny’s dilemma.

“She actually said that she wasn’t gonna take it if I wasn’t comfortable.” Danny admitted.

“Oh, good! You’re clearly not comfortable, so…” Danny sighed. Apparently Steve still didn’t see the problem.

“What am I supposed to do? It’s a no-win. I cannot win. I make her stay, and then she resents me, I let her go, and I’m miserable.” Steve shot him a sideways glance that Danny couldn’t quite read.

“You want my advice?”

“Absolutely not.”

“When Catherine was gonna turn down the job that Billy offered her because of me, you know what I told her? I told her to take the job.”

“That’s because you’re stupid and you don’t listen to anybody.” Danny grumbled.

“’Cause I didn’t want her to pass by a great career opportunity because of me.”

“You told your girlfriend that it was okay to take a job with her good-looking ex. All right, that is not noble, it’s stupid.” Danny protested. Steve sighed.

“Let me ask you a question then. If Gabby asked you to put your career on hold and move to Denver, would you do that?”

“No, I wouldn’t do that. But I got a daughter who lives here. It’s not the same thing.” Danny argued. Steve was quiet for a long moment.

“Plus you’d miss me too much.” He finally said softly, an unfamiliar expression crossing his face.

“Plus I’d miss you too much.” Danny repeated mockingly.

“There you go.” Steve pointedly ignored his sarcasm and Danny wondered sometimes if Steve knew how much he actually cared about him. When he said things like that… well, it didn’t matter at the moment, so Danny shut down that particular train of thought and refocused on the case.

If he thought about Steve’s words later, turning them over and over in his head after Gabby had left for the night, nobody had to know. It had nearly broken his heart to let Gabby go. He really thought they could have worked, but it truly wouldn’t be fair to Grace to have another parental figure in her life that was only available part-time. Danny groaned and punched his pillow into a more comfortable shape, wondering when, with or without Gabby, Oahu had become his home.

**-4.05-**

“When’s the last time you changed your shocks, Joe?” Danny was sure he was going to go through the roof of the car any minute.

“About a year ago.”

“Huh. You do the struts, too? ‘Cause I got to say, feels like maybe your suspension might be off just a little bit.”

“No, she’s handling good.”

“You didn’t feel that?” Danny asked incredulously. “When we went over that dip, it felt like I was gonna throw up.”

“No, no, I did not feel that.” Joe replied calmly.

“Okay. Some people like a looser ride than others. It’s not my place to judge. You like it, it’s your car, it’s fine. That, you didn’t feel though? That wasn’t…?”

“Is this what you and Steve do?” Joe interrupted. “You bicker in the car like an old married couple?”

Danny’s heart jumped into his throat. It wasn’t the first or even the third time someone had made that observation, and it had never really bothered Danny before. It didn’t really bother him this time, but somehow, hearing it from Joe, who’d known Steve for most of his life, it carried a little more weight.

“Bicker? No, no, we don’t bicker. I mean, we argue from time to time, sure, but we don’t… no bickering.” He protested.

“Well, look, how about if I change the subject?” Joe offered.

“That - that would be fine.”

“Steve asked me to get in touch with Doris.”

“Okay, well, I - I mean, that makes sense. You know, he’s got questions, and she may have the answers.” Danny had known that Steve would get restless over his missing mother eventually.

“Yeah, well, what I didn’t tell him was I’ve been trying to find her for over a month. I haven’t talked to her since she put Adam and Kono on that freighter that night. And the chatter is that once she left the country, old enemies came out of the woodwork.” Joe explained.

“What, she’s on the run?” Danny asked.

“Or worse.” Joe replied grimly.

“Or worse? Well, what are you gonna tell Steve?” If Doris was really dead this time, Danny didn’t want to be the one to tell him.

“I can’t tell him anything. I don’t have any confirmation. What I’m hoping is that you will tell him to stand down on this and let this go. Because we start turning over rocks, God knows what might crawl out.” Danny stared at Joe in shock.

“Yeah, so I’ll just talk to Steve.” He said flippantly. “What makes you think he’s gonna listen to me?”

“Because he trusts you.” Joe said simply. “He looks at me, he sees ulterior motives. He looks at you, he just sees a friend.” Danny felt a small rush of pride at the words.

“Ah, okay. Well, I could tell Steve whatever you want me to tell him and he’s gonna say ‘okay, sounds good’ and he’s gonna go off and do whatever he wants to do. And you know that. So my advice to you is, please, get confirmation on these rumors, and get the truth, and share that truth with Steve. Because you know, and I know, that he’s not gonna stop until he gets it.” Danny finished his spiel and silence fell over the car.

Danny liked Joe. He didn’t trust him entirely, but he liked him. It made him a little sad that even after all the years he’d known Steve, Joe still didn’t seem to understand him at all.

**-4.06-**

Danny felt his throat close at the sight of the small tunnel Steve was already halfway inside the entrance of. There was just no way he could go in.

“No, I gotta… I can’t go. I can’t do it. Sorry.” He blurted. Steve poked his head back out from the plants hanging over the doorway, a little line of confusion between his brows.

“Can’t do what?”

“I can’t do, uh, caves or tunnels or, uh, cramped spaces.” Danny confessed. “Anything where I feel like a… like a rat. I can’t.” Steve glanced into the tunnel and then back at Danny, and Danny could practically see the wheels turning in his head.

“You claustrophobic?” He finally asked.

“A little bit, yeah.” Danny stuffed his hands in his pockets, shuffling uncomfortably as he waited for the reaction.

“Okay. Well, uh, wait here.” Steve said, surprisingly reasonable about it.

“Okay. I’m sorry. I just… I can’t.” He felt horrible for making Steve go into that dark little tunnel without backup, but it was a panic attack waiting to happen, and he’d be about as much use in there as outside.

“No, it’s… I mean, what are you gonna do, right?”

“Thanks.” Danny had definitely not expected Steve to be quite so… understanding about his problem. Steve turned back to him suddenly.

“Hey, Danny?”

“Huh?”

“How’d it take me four years to learn that about you?” Steve asked. His voice was small, soft and confused like he didn’t understand why Danny hadn’t said anything before.

“I don’t know. Maybe you don’t pay such close attention to me.” Danny said. Hurt flashed across Steve’s face and he looked at the ground before disappearing into the tunnel without another word.

Danny kicked at the ground, feeling badly for hurting Steve and sorry for himself. How could he have possibly known that Steve would have reacted the way he did, with understanding and acceptance, instead of just mocking him? The man was a SEAL, for god’s sake. They had probably beaten that kind of perceived weakness out of him within a week of training. Danny gave himself a mental shake and settled in to wait for Steve to return. He’d apologize later if he needed to.

**-4.09-**

Steve was looking at him like a kicked puppy again.

“Hey, uh, you got a second for me?” He asked after a moment, gesturing to his office.

“For you I got a whole minute.” Danny told him, only half-joking.

“Thank you. Come here.” Steve gave him a small smile and led him into the other room. He sat down heavily on his desk and pinned his gaze to the floor. Danny waited for him to start.

“I need some advice.” Danny felt a small thrill go through him at the words, his heart warming that Steve would come to him. “It’s, uh, it’s about my aunt.” Steve continued. “Aunt Deb, she’s sick.”

“She’s sick?” Danny repeated, the warm feeling disappearing fast.

“Sick, uh… She’s sick. She’s got a brain tumor.” Danny opened his mouth and shut it again, letting out a discontented noise as he sat on the desk next to Steve.

“I’m sorry, man.” He said, feeling useless.

“Yeah.” Steve mumbled.

“What, uh, what - what are they gonna do?” Danny asked.

“It’s inoperable, but she’s refusing any other kind of treatment.” Steve explained, his face miserable and his shoulders hunched. Danny wanted to wrap his arms around him, hold him close and tell him that everything would be all right. But he and Steve, they didn’t do that sort of thing. Not in the middle of the office in broad daylight without plausible deniability of drunkenness or exhaustion, anyways. So Danny tried to be reasonable.

“I guess that’s her choice, right?”

“Well, yeah, it’s her choice, but here’s the thing, I mean, it’s not just her who’s gonna be affected by this. I mean, Mary? Mary - Mary’s gonna be destroyed if we lose her. Okay?” Danny hummed in agreement and Steve continued. “First Mom pulls her famous disappearing act again and now this? What do I do? How do I… How do I get her to change her mind?” He looked up at Danny, obviously wanting an easy answer. It broke Danny’s heart a little that he didn’t have one to give him.

“I don’t think, uh, I don’t think you… I don’t think you do try to change her mind. You know, I mean, look, if this… is your last Thanksgiving together, what, you want to spend it arguing?” Danny reasoned.

“No.” Steve agreed.

“No. You want to try to make some memories, some good memories, something that’s gonna last, something that’s gonna bring you through whatever’s coming next.” Danny told him. “That’s my opinion. Um, I’m sorry, man.” Steve gave him a single nod, and turned his attention to Chin as he walked through the door with an update.

Later, when they were all gathered around the table watching Deb take the stage, Danny turned to look at Steve.

 _“You plan this?”_ He mouthed across the table. Steve looked at Mary sitting next to him and turned back to Danny, his eyes strangely bright.

“Just making some memories, right?” He replied. Danny looked at the floor and smiled to himself.

**-4.10-**

“Well, I’d like to state, for the record, that I am confused. We got an old guy with a gun who made a premeditated decision to kill somebody. And we don’t lock him up, instead we, uh, we run errands for him.” For the most part, Danny actually did understand why they hadn’t just thrown David Toriyama in jail, but sometimes he just liked giving Steve a hard time.

“This isn’t a street crime. And it’s not about money. This case is about honor.” Steve protested. “His method, it was wrong. I don’t condone it. But we owe it to him to, at the very least, investigate.”

“Okay, I see what’s happening. You know what you’re becoming, right?” Danny asked.

“Bet you’re gonna tell me, aren’t you?”

“A big softie.” Danny informed him gleefully.

“I was right.” Steve muttered.

“With a bleeding heart, which somehow you now have. I mean, I don’t know, maybe… maybe you’re becoming a human being, Steve.” Danny stared at Steve expectantly for his rejoinder, but Steve just kept driving with a tiny smile on his face until they reached the bunker.

“Welcome.” Chin said as they walked up the stairs to meet him. “So, this is where the Army stores all its old MP records.” He explained.

“How old is ‘old’?” Danny asked.

“Well, the military’s been in Hawaii since the McKinley Era - that’s what? 120 years.” Chin said.

“Oh, that’s good. We can go find King Tut.” Danny said, and Chin laughed as he opened the door.

“Please, after you.” Danny insisted to the other two as they entered the dark, dusty, _cramped_ room.

“Hey.” Steve said suddenly and Danny whipped around towards him.

“Huh?”

“Come on.” Steve said. Danny hesitated.

“Uh, you know, uh, how I feel about cramped spaces like this.” He said quietly.

“I’ll hold your hand, come on.” Steve said, offering his hand, his expression open and almost inviting.

“Hey, claustrophobia is not something you make fun of, Steve, okay?” Danny said, ignoring Steve’s outstretched hand. He knew Steve was only doing it to get back at him for the “big softie” comment, but it still annoyed him. He wrestled with the idea of grabbing Steve’s hand just to really throw him off balance, but with Chin there, he decided against it.

“We’ll hold a telethon. Come on.” Steve said, his impatience getting the best of him.

“You’re a jerk, you know that?” Danny informed him.

“Let’s go.” Steve ordered, his face closing off as he turned away.

“What is that sound? Is that rain?” Danny asked. Steve aimed his flashlight at the ceiling.

“It’s rats.” He said after a moment.

“You could’ve lied.” Danny complained.

“Looks like these are all tagged by year.” Chin interrupted, obviously ignoring their squabbling. “Looking for 1943.”

“Yeah, I’m in the ‘60s here.” Steve replied. “'57. Right here. ‘43. I got it.” He called out.

“Let’s see what we got.” Chin said, and forced the lid of the container off, revealing an alarming number of rats covering the documents.

“Nice little rat condo?” Danny suggested, keeping his distance.

“Yeah.” Steve clearly wasn’t paying attention to him anymore.

“All right, January. February… come on. And May, here we go.” Chin pulled out a thick folder and he and Steve leaned in to inspect it.

“All right, uh, they’re MP daily reports, duty logs… What it that?” Steve asked as Chin held up a tattered piece of paper. “It’s an S.I.R.”

“What’s an S.I.R.?” Danny asked.

“A ‘Serious Incident Report’.” Steve told him.

“The writing’s pretty faded.” Chin said, sounding disappointed.

“Yeah, but look right there, it says May 24.” Steve pointed out.

“That’s the time the old man said the murder took place.” Danny remembered.

“All right, pack all this up. Get everything back to the lab.” Steve ordered. Danny circled his light around the container, highlighting the rats.

“Everything?” He clarified. Steve just gave him a hard look.

“Everything.” He repeated and walked away. Chin looked at him sympathetically and Danny wished he’d given Steve more of a hard time in the car.

**-4.12-**

They were drifting apart, he and Steve. Not a lot - they still spent an incredible amount of time together - but Steve had been taking Catherine with him to check out leads more and more these days. Danny didn’t blame him, and he would never admit it, but he missed Steve a little. When he arrived at Steve’s house with Grace for the game, he was secretly pleased when Steve held him back at the door.

“Hey, how’s Amber?”

“Oh, she’s, uh… she’s fantastic.” Danny felt a grin creep onto his face and saw Steve’s eyebrows shoot up.

“Wow, a smile. You perked up when I mentioned her name. What, you got a serious thing for this girl?” He asked. Danny shrugged.

“No, I mean, I got… I got a thing. I don’t… I don’t think I perked up.” He deflected. They had only just met, but Danny had to admit he was intrigued by Amber.

“You did perk up.” Steve was looking at him with soft eyes and a small, crooked smile. Danny smiled back. He knew Steve wanted him to be happy. Danny wanted to be happy too, it just usually didn’t work out like that.

“That’s not… that’s not what I do. I don’t perk up.” Peering around Steve, Danny saw Lou Grover standing at the table and quickly changed the subject. “Let me ask you a question. What’s, uh, what’s going on here?”

“What are you talking about?” Steve followed his gaze.

“Well, you know, first you invite him over for Thanksgiving. Then you guys, uh, you guys partner up. Now he’s in the kitchen cooking chili, watching the game. People are gonna think you two like each other or something.” Danny said. Steve shifted uncomfortably.

“I don’t know. He - He’s not that bad.”

“No?” Danny asked.

“No, he’s not that bad. I mean, he’s, uh, he’s a bit… he’s a bit thick-headed, but he makes a great chili.” Steve said. Danny raised his eyebrows.

“Oh, that’s good. So he’s like you, but he can cook.” He said. Steve glared at him.

“You want to eat?” He asked.

“Mm-hmm.” Danny agreed.

“You want to eat today?” Steve threatened.

“Mm-hmm.” If Danny was being honest with himself, Grover being at Steve’s house hurt. Danny didn’t hate the guy, he actually kind of liked him, but he hadn’t entirely forgiven the S.W.A.T. Captain for trying to rat Steve out to the Governor just yet. And if there was a little jealousy that Steve had working a few cases with Grover instead of Danny, well, Steve didn’t need to know.

“Mmm, that smells good. You guys got room for two more?” Everyone turned at once, happy exclamations filling the room as they realized who was standing there. Delighted to be brought out of his musings by Kono and Adam’s surprise return, Danny put all his thoughts about Steve on the back burner, and welcomed his friends home.

**-4.18-**

To say that Danny was shocked by Steve coming to him with the new information about Shelburne would be a massive understatement. Steve had showed up at his house late one night with his puppy-dog eyes in full force, and explained about the code on the bottom of the toolbox and the grave in Cambodia.

“I just need to know, Danny.” Steve had said.

“Right. Of course.” Danny had replied, knowing Steve wouldn’t let this go. Steve had looked up at him then, almost shyly.

“Will you… will you come with me? I - I know it’s a trip, but I can get us on a transport by tomorrow afternoon. Shouldn’t take more than a couple of days.”

“Oh. Um, yeah. Yeah, I’ll come.” Danny had agreed instantly out of pure shock.

Now, watching Steve stare blankly into space in the cargo hold of some military transport, Danny almost wished he’d refused.

“You’re an amazing travel companion. Anybody ever tell you that?” He said to break the silence. Steve’s head twitched as he jerked out of whatever thought he was buried in. “I mean, the time’s just… flying by here. Maybe - maybe I thought we’d see if the copilot wants to play backgammon or something.” Danny continued.

“I’m sorry, okay? I - I appreciate you coming, Danny, I do. I’m - I’m just…” Steve trailed off and Danny felt a burst of sympathy for him.

“You’re disappointed. I understand. It’s a really long way to fly to find an empty coffin.” He said. “Which, by the way, there is zero chance the CIA did not know that whoever was occupying that coffin meant something to you.” Steve looked at him, resignation clear on his face.

“Yeah, or Doris. ‘Cause that’s what this is all about. I’m telling you, I guarantee my mother is linked to that missing body somehow.”

“Either that or she’s responsible for the body being in the ground in the first place.” Danny said. He immediately regretted it as Steve fixed him with a hard look. “Oh, you don’t want to go down that road.” Steve didn’t respond and Danny fell silent again.

Almost a full day later, after their disaster of a case had been solved, Danny wasn’t entirely surprised to hear a knock on his door that night. He answered it, saw Steve standing meekly on the steps, and left the door open as he walked back to the couch.

“Coulda just let yourself in.” He tossed over his shoulder.

“Thought you might be asleep.” Steve said as he settled himself in.

“Never really stopped you before.” Danny muttered. One side of Steve’s mouth lifted in a small smile.

“Grace still at Rachel’s?”

“Until tomorrow.” Danny looked over at Steve when he didn’t respond and saw the deep frown etched onto Steve’s face. “Did your CIA man give you anything useful?” Danny asked hesitantly. Steve rubbed at his eyes and dragged a hand down his face.

“Connors is gone.” He said.

“Gone? What do you mean, gone?”

“He… according to the CIA he doesn’t exist. He told me to meet him at his office, but when I got there the, uh, entire place was cleared out. The phone on the desk rang, so I answered it, and the guy on the line told me that Connors didn’t exist, that the casket didn’t exist.” Steve suddenly looked exhausted, his face drawn and his posture slumped. “I - I just wanted answers, Danny. I’m so tired of getting the runaround with Doris. I didn’t mean to get Connors… killed.” Danny reached out and put a hand on Steve’s shoulder.

“Hey, no, come on, they - they didn’t kill him. They wouldn’t just… they probably knew you were, uh, asking around and they… relocated him.” Danny finished lamely. It sounded patronizing even as he said it, but Steve looked at him for a long moment, obviously deciding whether or not to argue with him. He finally nodded.

“Yeah. Probably.” Steve’s eyes dropped to Danny’s hand and he frowned. “Danny, your wrist…” Danny looked down and saw the mottled bruising that had appeared since that idiot Bradley had hit him with the shovel. His shoulder ached as well.

“Oh. I should… do something about that.” Danny realized. Steve stood abruptly.

“I’ll get you ice.” He strode off into the kitchen, and Danny listened to him rustle around the freezer as he sank back into the couch and closed his eyes, all his energy gone. “Hey.” Danny cracked open one eye at Steve’s soft voice, groaning as he leaned forward to accept the pain meds Steve was holding out to him. He swallowed them dry.

“Thanks.” He grunted. Steve nodded and picked up Danny’s wrist, arranging the ice pack around the worst of the bruising. Danny sighed.

“Okay?” Steve asked.

“Yeah. He, uh, he got my shoulder, too.” Danny said.

“Oh.” Steve got up again and returned with another ice pack. “Lean forward.” Danny obeyed and Steve slipped the second pack behind Danny’s shoulder, holding it in place as he leaned back again.

“You’re a life saver.” Danny told him. Steve started fussing with the towel wrapped around the ice on his wrist, making sure it wasn’t in direct contact with his skin.

“Just the guy you know and love, right?” Steve murmured after a long pause. Startled, Danny met his gaze, recalling the conversation they’d had outside the hospital after Max had called to tell Steve his sample was missing. Steve’s eyes were soft and his hands were gentle, but his expression was unreadable. Danny looked away.

“Yeah. Know and - yeah. That’s you.” He stammered. He could feel Steve staring at him, but he couldn’t look back at him. After a minute, Steve sighed and slowly rose to his feet.

“I should go. Night, Danno. Feel better.”

“Okay. Um, thanks again.” Danny mumbled. He watched Steve leave out of the corner of his eye, letting out a huge sigh as he heard Steve’s truck pull away. He wasn’t sure what had been going on in Steve’s head that made him bring up Danny’s offhand comment. He wasn’t entirely sure what had been going through his own head when he’d said it. Danny sighed again. Sometimes it would be better if he could just keep his mouth shut.

**-4.19-**

Everything hurt. There was dust in his nose and his eyes and his mouth. A solid weight on his chest, combined with a shooting pain in his ribs, made it almost impossible to take a full breath, and someone kept calling his name. He coughed and lifted his hand as high as he could.

“Danny!”

“Steve.”

“Danny!” He sounded panicked. Steve almost never panicked. Danny whispered his name again, wanting to comfort Steve as much as he wanted Steve to comfort him, and suddenly Steve was there, grasping Danny’s hand firmly. “Danny… Hey, I got you, buddy. I’m right here. I got you.” He could hear the relief in Steve’s voice as he began to pull the rubble off of him.

“My leg’s pinned. I think I broke a rib.” Danny told him, and Steve immediately started pushing at the block that was trapping him. “Where’s the other guy?”

“He’s dead.” Steve said regretfully. He reached out and clasped Danny’s hand again. “Okay, listen to me, this thing’s too heavy. I can’t lift it. I got no cell service down here, so I can’t call for help.”

“Okay.”

“I’m gonna go get something to give me some leverage, get this off your leg, okay? I’ll be right back.” Steve said gently.

“All right.” A bolt of panic suddenly went through Danny as Steve started to stand, and he pulled him back down. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t go just yet.” He begged.

“Danny, relax, it’s gonna be okay.” Steve reassured him, but Danny could feel the cramped space started to close in around him as he realized just how small and dark the collapsed room was.

“Is it okay? ‘Cause I’m in a confined space with a bunch of concrete on top of me, and given my present condition, that’s not the best situation for me. You know what I mean?”

“Right, right, right. Claustrophobia.”

“Yeah.” Danny mumbled. Steve squeezed his hand.

“Okay. Take a deep breath, okay?”

“No, that’s no good. It makes it worse.” Danny groaned, clutching Steve’s hand like a lifeline.

“Danny, I got to get this off you. You understand me?” Steve asked.

“All right, all right, okay.” Danny tried to empty his mind of all the bad thoughts as he started babbling. “All right, Carter’s behind the plate. We got Santana…”

“Hey, hey, hey.”

“Hernandez. Hernandez playing first. Backman’s playing second base.”

“What are you doing?” Steve asked.

“Helps me relax. I just recite the ‘86 Mets lineup.” Danny laughed, slightly hysterical. “It helps me relax.”

“Oh, that’s great. That’s good. No, that’s good.” Steve smiled broadly at him as he stood. “I’ll be back, all right?”

“Okay. Santana’s playing shortstop.”

“Good. Sit tight.” Danny continued rattling off names as he watched Steve walk off into the darkness.

Danny slowly worked his way through the roster, trying not to slip further into his panic the longer Steve was gone. By the time he returned, Danny had moved on to ‘92. Steve encouraged him as he levered the cement off his leg, but as he rolled out from under it, Danny felt a bright burst of pain slice through him. Steve was by his side instantly, hands gentle as he inspected the wound in Danny’s abdomen. The next few minutes of Danny’s existence were pure agony as Steve pulled out the rebar, disinfected the wound, and duct-taped it shut.

“How we looking? Is it good?” Danny panted, wiping at his face.

“It’s good. Pretty good.” Steve replied, his hand cradling Danny’s hip for a moment. “Come on.” Danny groaned as Steve pulled him to his feet. “Keep your weight off that leg.” Steve instructed.

“Nah, I’m good.” Danny insisted, desperate to leave the small space. “Let’s get the hell out of here. Come on.”

“No, Danny. Hold up.” Steve tugged at his hand and Danny turned back to him.

“Huh? Which way?” He asked. Steve looked at him sadly.

“We’re not going anywhere, buddy. Place is caved in. We can’t get out of here.” Danny huffed out a breath and shook his head in defeat as the building creaked around them.

“Do me a favor, would you, please?”

“Of course. Whatever you need.” Steve promised.

“Look at me in the eye - look at me - and admit something to me. We should not have listened to Dekker, hmm?” Steve looked at him in disbelief.

“You want to do that now? It was a lead we had to follow, Danny, okay? And by the way, you’re welcome for saving your life.” Danny glared at Steve as he bent over a picked up a bent piece of metal and held it out to him.

“What is that, a souvenir?” He snapped, grabbing it anyways.

“Yeah, it’s a souvenir. Rescue team would have arrived already. They’d be listening in. Find something to bang on, make some noise.” Steve ordered. Danny wearily obeyed.

He wasn’t sure how long they continued to hit the pipes and the crumbled walls, but Danny was tired and in pain, and, unable to help himself, he starting picking a fight with Steve to take his mind off their situation. Focusing on finding the identity of the dead man took up another few minutes, but Danny could have cried in relief when Steve’s phone rang and Catherine finally made contact with them. Danny swallowed his disappointment when she told them that the rescue team wasn’t any closer to finding a way to get them out, wishing they could do more than just sit in the dark and stay put. When she called back and informed them that they would have to crawl thirty yards through a collapsed building, he immediately wished that staying put was all they had to do.

Steve handed him the phone, cupping Danny’s face briefly before he wandered off to look for a route to the vent. Danny was reluctant to place Grace in Amber’s care so soon after they had met, especially after a meeting as disastrous as theirs had been, but he had no other choice. Arrangements made, he and Steve set off through the maze of cement and steel beams.

“She’s pretty.” Steve suddenly said from behind him as Danny pulled himself through the cramped tunnel.

“Oh. What?”

“Amber. Can tell she really cares about you, too.” Danny knew Steve was trying to distract him from the close quarters of their surrounding. He was in too much pain to really be grateful, but he grabbed hold of the conversation anyways.

“Yeah, I’ll probably screw it up like I do everything else. Right? Not in my DNA to be happy.” Danny grunted.

“I didn’t mean that. That’s not what I meant.” Steve protested.

“No, I’m officially agreeing with you. There is something wrong with the way that I am built. I - I can’t, uh… I can’t just enjoy happiness like regular people, you know?”

“You don’t think you’re being a little hard on yourself?” Steve asked.

“No, I don’t.” Danny retorted. “When I was a kid, my parents would go out to eat dinner. If they were late coming home, I used to imagine that they died in a car wreck, just ‘cause they were 15 minutes late. And I used to talk to God and beg him. I said, ‘Please just take my dad, not my mom.’ ‘Cause I couldn’t live without my mom. I mean, every time something good happens in my life, I - I just… I think of when it’s gonna end. That’s all I can think about.” Danny slumped against the wall, suddenly exhausted, and Steve pointed the light in his direction.

“You for real?” He asked, his face a mixture of concern and confusion.

“Yeah.”

“That’s not normal.”

“I know it’s not normal. Listen to this. On my wedding day, I’m looking at Rachel, just about to say ‘I do.’ And all I can see is the day she’s gonna serve me with divorce papers. No joke. And I… I don’t know, man. The only sustained happiness I ever felt in my life so far is Grace. And, you know, it’s just a matter of time before she turns 18, and then she’s out the door and she… marries some schmuck. I don’t know.”

“You got to change, man. You can’t live like that.” Steve said, frowning deeply. Danny felt a surge of frustration. If only it were that easy.

“Well, I’d like very much to change. It’s just not so simple, you know?”

“Take Amber, all right?” Steve urged him. “Start small. Instead of pushing her away, like you always do, fixate on how she’s gonna break your heart, she’s gonna destroy your life… bring her in, bring her closer.” Danny looked away. Amber was sweet. He liked her a lot, he really did.

“All right, I’ll give it a shot.”

“What?”

“I said I’ll give it a shot. I make it out of here alive, I’ll give it a shot.” Danny said, pulling himself up and starting through the tunnel again.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“That’s good. That’s good.” Steve said, sounding pleased.

“Thank you.” Danny replied. Seconds later, the tunnel in front of him started to give, and he felt Steve grabbing at his waist to pull him back as his vision clouded with dust. When it settled, a huge chunk of debris was blocking their path once more. Danny shook his head and pushed himself back, leaning against the wall again as Steve moved towards the blockage and started to push at it.

“What you doing?” Danny asked. He could already see it was pointless.

“It’s too heavy.” Steve said breathlessly.

“You know, I’m trying, uh, really hard to stay positive here.” Danny said. Steve turned and pointed his light above Danny’s head. “What are you looking for?”

“I’m looking for that. You see that piece of pipe hanging over you, Danny? Break it off and seal off one end for me.”

“What are you gonna do with it?”

“This slab of concrete - I’m gonna blow it up.”

“You’re gonna what?” Danny hoped he’d misheard him. “How does this not end with both of us dying? You’re gonna blow something up?” He started pounding on one end of the pipe with a rock anyways.

“Called a directional charge. Sends the explosive energy in one direction.” Steve explained, pulling a grenade out of one of his endless pockets. “Anything that’s behind it, theoretically, is reasonably safe.”

“It’s, what, reasonably… Nothing of what you just said sounds reasonable, okay? This is the best I could do.” He handed the pipe to Steve and slumped back down, watching as Steve emptied the gunpowder canister into it. “This gonna work?” He asked quietly.

“I don’t know.” Steve said, fashioning a makeshift fuse. “Back up. Get up in there.” He indicated the small hollow behind them, obviously wanting Danny as far away from the blast as possible.

“Hold on. Before we do this, I just want you to know one thing.” Danny said suddenly.

“What?”

“Whatever happens, I really, really… from the bottom of my heart… hate you so much.” Danny laughed nervously and Steve gave him a huge smile and laughed as well.

“I love you too, pal.” He murmured, and Danny’s breath caught in his throat at the words he had been too scared to say.

“I guess there’s a lot worse people to die under a big pile of concrete with, huh?”

“You want to do the honors?” Steve asked jokingly, holding up the lighter.

“No, no. It’s your stupid idea, you do it.” Danny braced himself for the explosion as Steve lit the fuse and flung himself back seconds later, immediately covering Danny’s body with his own. Danny’s heart clenched as Steve curled over him protectively, his breath hot against Danny’s cheek. It was a useless action. If the tunnel collapsed they would both be crushed instantly, but Danny appreciated the sentiment. Wondering why it had taken him so long to realize that he was in love with this incredible man, Danny curled his hand into Steve’s shirt and pulled him closer as the bomb detonated.

The relief Danny felt as he was lifted out of the ground was indescribable. Seeing Grace running towards him was ten times better. He hugged her, reassured her that he was fine, and greeted Amber with a quick kiss. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Steve walking hesitantly towards them. Steve was covered in dust and debris, bruised and a little bloody, but his eyes were soft as he looked back at Danny. Danny decided Steve was the most beautiful thing on the planet in the same moment he decided he could never have him.

“Hey, I want you to meet somebody.” He told Amber. “This is Steve McGarrett. Amber.”

“Hi.” Amber smiled at Steve, and he nodded in return, reaching out to give Grace a hug.

“Nice to finally meet you.” He said.

“You too.”

“Guys, give me one sec with Steve, all right?” Danny asked, and Amber pulled Grace back towards the perimeter. Danny turned to look at his partner. “Well, if this is the, uh, power of positive thinking, I, uh… I like it. It’s good.” Danny said to buy himself some time.

“You know, it’s the same as you, uh… you admitting that I was right, but I don’t want to put words in your mouth or anything.” Steve said. Danny looked away for a second before he took a deep breath and started talking.

“When we were in there, you said, uh… you know, before you did the thing with the bomb, you said what you said. I want you to know, I… I feel the same way.”

“How is that exactly?” Steve asked.

“Gonna make me say it?” Danny complained, but just Steve stared at him until Danny rolled his eyes slightly and held out his arms, pulling Steve into a hug. “Come here. I love you.”

“I love you, buddy.” Steve said again, holding onto Danny tightly. After a moment, Danny pulled away, unable to meet Steve’s eye again.

Danny tried to imagine telling Steve that his love was more than platonic, but despite just promising Steve that he would try to change, all Danny could see were the worst possible outcomes. He could see Steve laughing and brushing it off, but slowly becoming more and more distant. He could see Steve getting angry and kicking Danny out of Five-0. He could see Steve looking at him with pity, with disgust, with indifference. A thousand different scenarios flashed through his head and not a singled one ended with Steve giving him a sunny smile and an ‘I’m in love with you, too’.

“I - I, uh, got to go get this properly stitched up…” Danny mumbled finally.

“Yeah, you should.”

“And I’m not coming in to work tomorrow. Or for the rest of the week, all right?”

“Good.”

“I’m taking Amber to Maui. Heal up over there, relax.” Danny wasn’t sure he could stand to be around Steve without doing something incredibly stupid. The guilt that was flooding through him over the conflicting feelings he was having about Steve and Amber wasn’t helping, either.

“Nice beaches over there.” Steve commented.

“Nice beaches? I won’t see a single one of them. All right?”

“Call me.” Steve said as Danny walked away.

And that, right there… The things Steve said sometimes, the looks he gave him… Danny briefly wondered if Steve’s ‘I love you’ had been a little more than brotherly, too, but it wasn’t worth the risk. He carefully packed away all the stray thoughts that whispered ‘maybe’, and continued walking towards Amber.

**-4.20-**

“Hey.” Steve greeted Danny as he walked out of his office.

“Hey.”

“Physical therapy appointment, huh?” Steve asked. Danny didn’t think Steve looked nearly sympathetic enough, considering it was basically his fault.

“Yeah. Yeah. My mandatory hour of joy with Nurse Ratchet, thanks to you.”

“Thanks to me?” Steve repeated, looking offended.

“Mm.” Danny agreed.

“What, you gonna blame that building collapsing on us on me?”

“I am. Yeah.”

“And how exactly am I responsible?” Steve asked.

“Well, uh… about four years ago, you came and knocked on my door and told me that I had no choice but to work with you, so, I figure everything terrible that’s happened to me since is your fault.” Danny explained. Steve hummed and narrowed his eyes at him. “You’re like a cloud, dark cloud, that never goes away.” He added.

“Do me a favor, when you see Nurse Ratchet, have her, uh, check your head while she works the rest of you over, ‘cause you got some damage up there, too.” Steve said.

“Okay. You done? Amber’s waiting in the car. I got to go.”

“Amber’s waiting in the car?” Steve’s eyebrows shot up.

“Yeah. Amber’s waiting in the car. That’s what I said.”

“Huh. Things must’ve gone well in Maui then.”

“They did. You look very surprised.” Danny pointed out.

“Well, I mean… a little surprised, given your propensity to blow up relationships.” Steve admitted.

“My propensity to to blow up - that’s funny coming from the guy whose girlfriend is currently AWOL.” Danny retorted.

“AWOL?”

“Yeah.”

“No.” Steve argued. “I know where she is. She’s on the mainland visiting friends.”

“To get away from you.”

“Go to PT.” Steve told him, jutting his chin towards the door.

“I will.” Danny said, drawing himself up and turning to leave.

“Enjoy.”

“Thanks.”

“I hope it hurts.” Steve added.

“Uh-huh.”

“A lot.” There was a brief pause, and then… “I love you.” Steve called out.

“Love you, too.” Danny tossed back.

He still felt a thrill go through him at the words, both hearing and saying them. It had become fairly commonplace for Steve to drop the words into their conversations in the days following the building collapse. A soft ‘I love you’ in place of a ‘goodbye’ on a phone call, or a quick affirmation after an argument. Danny was almost positive Steve was just excited to have another person to say it to after spending most of his life having no one. Steve had so much love to give in that big, soft heart of his, and Danny was beyond pleased to be one of the people receiving some of it, no matter its form.

**-4.21-**

Danny was going to be sick, he was sure of it. He accepted the water the soldier sitting next to him on the military transport offered him, but didn’t take a drink, unsure of his ability to keep it down. His stomach had been in knots since he had received Catherine’s call. This was North Korea all over again and he had been battling the urge to curl up in a ball for hours when they finally landed. He listened silently as the man in charge of the operation briefed them on the situation, but his breath caught when he said that Steve might already be dead.

“No, no, he’s alive.” Danny argued.

“How can you know that?” The officer countered.

“Because I know him. Trust me, he’s alive, okay?” He had to be. Danny waited with his heart in his throat as the rescue team deployed, and he didn’t take another full breath until he heard one of the soldiers yell out that the package was secure. Danny still wanted to cry as he watched them load Steve’s unconscious body into the helicopter.

Now he was just waiting for Steve to wake up. Danny fidgeted on the uncomfortable stool, trying not to focus too hard on Steve’s injuries. He looked awful, bruised and still against the white sheets. Danny looked away, but he whipped back around when he heard Steve inhale sharply.

“Hey.” He whispered. Steve slowly turned to look at him. “Hey.”

“Danny?” He rasped.

“Yeah, I’m right here.” Danny reassured him. “You all right?” Steve didn’t answer, trying instead to sit up.

“Where’s Catherine? Is she all right?” He demanded. Danny lightly touched his arm to keep him in the bed.

“Relax. Hey. I spoke to her when she called me about you, and we got disconnected. I tried her back a couple times, it didn’t go through.“ Steve stared at him with wide eyes, but Danny looked away as he heard the infirmary door open. “CIA. Hear me?” He warned.

“You’re gonna need to step outside.” The captain ordered. Danny glanced at Steve laying helpless and vulnerable in the bed, and back at the two men.

“No, no, no. I’m gonna stay right here with him.” He declined.

“Excuse me?” The uniform asked.

“I’m not a soldier, you don’t have any authority over me. So I’m gonna stay put.” Danny said. The man glared at him for a second before he turned to Steve.  

“Okay, I’m gonna make this real simple for you, Commander. We know you weren’t over here alone, so unless you want to spend the next ten years in prison, you need to tell me who else was involved and how you got your intel.” Danny listened as they threatened Steve, silently fuming at their verbal abuse, but proud of his partner for standing up to them the only way he could.

“Take this out of my arm.” Steve demanded as soon as they had left, trying to sit up again. Danny gently pressed him back down by his good shoulder.

“What are you doing? Relax, what are you doing?” Danny pleaded.

“I can’t leave Catherine out there by herself.” Steve said.

“O-Okay. Well, stop, please, okay? Listen, you heard what the guy says. He’ll put you in jail. We don’t need that. All right? Catherine’s a big girl, she can take care of herself. Put your head down, relax. Okay? Okay? Please? Good.” He sighed and looked at Steve. Steve was staring back at him with an odd expression that Danny couldn’t place. “What are you looking at me like that for?” Danny asked.

“I can’t believe you flew all this way.” Steve said, sounding awed. Danny shrugged.

“I had to make sure you were okay.” He muttered, and then, because the moment felt a little too dangerously intimate, he quickly added, “Plus, you owe me five hundred from that poker game.” Steve laughed and started coughing almost immediately. “All right. Glad you find that funny.”

“Thanks, Danny.” Steve managed.

“You’re welcome. Just cool out, we’ll go home. All right?” He promised, but Steve had already fallen back asleep.

Four days later, back in Hawaii, Danny’s phone rang. He frowned as Steve’s name come up on the screen. Steve had only just been released from the hospital and Danny had made sure he was going straight home to rest.

“Hello?”

“She’s not coming back.” Steve sounded breathless and choked, like he’d been crying.

“Who?” Danny asked, starting to panic.

“Catherine. She, she… I-”

“Don’t move.” Danny interrupted. “I’m coming over.” He hung up and ran to his car. Hating himself a little, he flicked the sirens on and sped all the way to Steve’s house. He didn’t bother knocking when he arrived, he just flung open the door and rushed in, stopping short when he saw Steve slumped in his armchair and staring blankly out at the ocean. He didn’t look up at Danny’s frantic entrance.

Danny approached him slowly. Steve was clutching his phone so hard his knuckles were white, so Danny reached out and pried it gently from his hand, setting it down on the table. He knelt down next to the chair and put a hand on Steve’s uninjured arm.

“What happened?” He asked softly. Steve looked at him, his eyes watery and red.

“Catherine’s gone.” He said.

“Gone?” Danny repeated dumbly, fearing the worst. “She - is she…?”

“She’s staying in Afghanistan to find Najib. Well, not Afghanistan, she said she had a lead saying they, uh, took him across the border.”

“I’m sorry.” Danny said sincerely. “I know you and she were…” Danny actually had no idea what they were. “You had a lot of history.” He finished lamely. Steve huffed out a humorless laugh.

“History, yeah. Yeah. I never even told her… I never told her I loved her before tonight. Um, over the phone.”

“Steve…” Danny started, but Steve waved him off.

“No, don’t, I just, I should have told her, man.”

“She knew.” Danny insisted. Steve looked at him miserably.

“You think? I don’t… _I_ didn’t even know. I mean, I wasn’t sure. I guess I’m, uh, still not.” Steve dropped his head into his good hand. “Is that awful? She could die and I still can’t figure out my feelings.”

“No, no, that’s…” Danny trailed off, not sure what to say. After a second he stood, pushing at Steve’s arm until Steve moved over as far as he could. Danny slid in next to him, squished between the arm of the chair and Steve’s warm body. Steve sank down even further and leaned his head on Danny’s chest as Danny carefully slung an arm around his shoulders. They were quiet for a long while.

“Love you, Danno. Want you to know.” Steve whispered suddenly. Danny pressed his nose into Steve’s hair for a moment.

“Yeah, okay. I do, I do know. Love you too.” Danny wasn’t sure how long they sat there, just watching the ocean, but eventually he heard Steve’s breathing even out and felt his body go lax against his own. He knew he should get Steve into a proper bed so he wasn’t sore in the morning, but he couldn’t bring himself to wake him. So Danny stayed put and held Steve until the sun came up.

**-5.04-**

“Still no word from Chin?” Steve asked.

“No.” Danny had tried not to get his hopes up but he was starting to lose what little he had managed to scrape together.

“You know what, partner? We can get on a plane right now and settle this.” Steve told him, his expression serious. Danny shook his head and laughed a little.

“You see, that is why I love you, buddy. You’re always willing to risk both of our lives at any given moment, huh?” Danny winced as that little confession slipped out, but Steve just smiled and didn’t seem to notice.

“Listen, man, I’ll go through the door first if it makes you feel better.” He offered.

“Oh, you would?” Danny asked, a little sarcastically. Steve just smiled again, and then he reached out and placed his hand on Danny’s thigh, squeezing slightly. Danny’s stomach clenched and he fell silent.

Two days later, Chin managed to pull through and get the money. Two days later, Danny nearly lost his mind. After everything they’d gone though, his brother, his little brother, was already dead, stuffed in a barrel like trash.

And Steve. Steve hadn’t said a word when Danny had fought back against Reyes’ henchmen, he hadn’t said a word when Danny had marched back down the stairs and shot Reyes pointblank between the eyes. He was completely silent as he helped Danny load the barrel containing his only brother into the back of their truck to take back home. It was only when they got into the truck and began to drive that Steve finally tried to catch his eye. Danny didn’t look at him. He already knew the exact expression of worry Steve would have on his face, and he didn’t know if he could stand that brand of sympathy right then.

“Danny…” Steve tried hesitantly. Danny stared resolutely at his hands. He could still feel Reyes’ body going slack as the bullet hit his brain.

“Don’t.” He ground out. He saw Steve flinch out of the corner of his eye.

“Okay.” Steve said softly, focusing his attention back on the road.

Danny stared out the window until they got to the transport that would take them home.

**-5.05-**

“ _Hey, Danny, it’s me again. Um, I’m just checking on you, man. I just want to see how you’re doing, and see how the family’s holding up. Look, give me a call if you get a second, all right? I’m thinking about you, buddy. Bye.”_

Danny hesitated, his finger hovering over the ‘delete’ button. After a long moment, he shook his head and left the message sitting in the voicemail box, along with the nine others Steve had left him in the week he’d been in New Jersey.

**-5.06-**

Steve had come to find him that morning. Not even four hours after his plane landed, and he had come to find Danny, remembering about his special spot.

He’d also called six times. Danny scrolled through the notifications as he sat on the couch. The TV was blaring but he wasn’t really watching it. He just wanted to veg out on the couch and forget about Matty and the nasty case they’d worked that day for a little while. Around eleven, there was a sharp knock on the door, but Danny ignored it. If there were still trick-or-treaters out, he’d left a bowl of candy on the front step. Whoever it was rang the doorbell.

“Coming, coming.” Danny grumbled to himself as he levered himself off the couch. He swung the door open a little more aggressively than was probably necessary. “Look, I get it’s Halloween, but there’s a bowl - oh. Steve.”

“Hey, Danny.” Danny turned and walked back into the living room, leaving Steve standing on the steps.

“Thought you were with Ellie.” He mumbled, sitting back down as Steve followed him.

“We just hung out. Talked about our dads a bit.” Steve said. Danny hummed noncommittally as Steve flopped onto the couch. “What game’s on?” He asked.

“Don’t know.” Danny said. He caught the sympathetic look Steve shot him but he ignored it. He didn’t want to talk about his brother right now. Or maybe ever. Their conversation that morning had been hard enough. Danny continued to stare at the TV until Steve looked away.

After a while, Steve seemed to relax a little and he stretched one arm out along the back of the couch, his hand just barely brushing against Danny’s shoulder. Danny closed his eyes at the small touch. He took a deep breath and slowly let himself tip over until his head was in Steve’s lap. Steve’s leg twitched and he inhaled sharply. For five terrifying seconds, Danny thought he had misread the situation. He was positive Steve was going to say something, but then his arm slid off the back of the couch and draped over Danny’s shoulder. Danny heaved a sigh of relief as Steve started rubbing at his arm. They stayed like that until Danny felt his eyes closing and he nodded off.

Danny was half-awakened when he felt Steve gently lift his head off his leg and slip off the couch. He didn’t know how long it had been since he’d fallen asleep, but the TV was off and there was a blanket spread over him. He grumbled as Steve let him fall back against cushions, but he was already almost asleep again.

“Night, Danny.” Steve whispered. Danny grunted at him and he thought he felt Steve lean down and press his lips to his forehead, but Steve was out the door before Danny could even think about trying to wake up and ask what had just happened. He settled back into the couch and fell asleep again.

**-5.07-**

This kept happening. This kept happening, and Danny was fucking sick of it. Steve kept disappearing on him, and he wasn’t sure if he could handle the stress much longer. Steve had been missing for nine hours, but as the team stormed the dry cleaning facility and Danny saw Steve sprawled out on the wet floor, shirtless and barefoot and far too still, Danny decided he’d been missing for about ten hours too long.

“Steve?” Danny heard his voice crack. Steve didn’t look like he was breathing as Danny dropped to his side. “Steve, you all right? Hey! Come on.” Steve jerked into motion and Danny and Chin helped him sit back against the wall. “You all right? Huh? You all right?” Danny asked, cradling the back of Steve’s neck in his hand.

“Yeah. Yeah, where’s my father? Where’s my father? I want to see my dad. I want to see my dad.” Steve was looking around like he expected John McGarrett to pop up at any second. Danny saw Kono’s anguished look at the question, and he exchanged a worried glance with Chin.

“Buddy, your dad died four years ago, okay?” Danny tenderly stroked at the nape of Steve’s neck as Steve processed the information. “All right?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Steve frowned and nodded as he remembered, and then he broke, his face crumpling as he began to cry.

“You’re all right. You’re all right.” Danny whispered to him, still running his hand along Steve’s hairline.

“I’m good. L-Let’s go.” Steve finally sniffled, his expression determined as he tried to pull himself together. He let Danny and Chin lift him up and drag him a few feet towards the door before he halted, telling them to wait. Danny watched as he stared at Wo Fat’s body, breathing hard and trembling, before he finally allowed them to help him limp out of the dark room.

Danny stayed by Steve’s side until they took him away in the ambulance, and then he stayed as close as he was allowed, sitting in the waiting room for hours, exhausted but on high alert for the doctor to give him any news. When they finally allowed him in to see Steve, Danny wasn’t ready for the aftermath.

Steve was frowning even in his sleep, lightly sedated as the hallucinogens left his system. His mouth and nose were badly bruised, and Danny lightly touched the reddened skin near the cut on his forehead that had been neatly stitched up. He pulled up a chair and collapsed into it, leaning his head onto a hand and just watching Steve breathe. He wasn’t sure how long he sat with him, but eventually a nurse came in to check on them. Danny braced for the worst when she looked at her watch.

“Sir, unless you’re family, visiting hours are over.”

“No, please, I - he was tortured and drugged, he was hallucinating. He’s going to need someone he knows when he wakes up.” He begged. The nurse - Nalani, her name tag read - looked at him sternly.

“Are you family?” She asked. Danny pressed his lips together.

“Not, uh, not technically, but look, we’re Five-0, we’ve been partners for years. Please. I’ll - I’ll call the governor if you need an excuse to let me stay.” Danny knew he was making a scene but he didn’t care. There was no way he was leaving Steve to wake up alone in the hospital, confused and scared. He wrapped his hand around Steve’s wrist. “Please.” Nalani narrowed her eyes at him before she sighed and shook her head.

“Fine. You stay quiet, and if anyone asks, I didn’t see you in here.”

“Thank you.” Danny breathed out as she finished checking Steve’s vitals and left. Danny stroked his thumb across the back of Steve’s hand, watching his friend’s face twist into a deeper frown as he dreamt about god-only-knew what kind of horrors. After a while, Danny felt his eyelids starting to drop. He laid his head down on the mattress next to Steve’s arm and slowly drifted off.

Danny woke to choked off gasps and stifled sobs. He lurched out of his chair as he realized Steve was conscious and obviously suffering.

“Steve, Steve, it’s Danny. It’s okay, I’m here. You’re in the hospital. Wo Fat is dead, you’re safe.” Steve turned to him, his mouth open and trembling, eyes wide and watery.

“Danny…? I don’t…” He slammed his eyes shut suddenly, shaking his head. He was going to set off the heart rate monitors if he didn’t calm down, and Danny really didn’t want the nurses to have to inject any more drugs into Steve’s system, even if they were meant to calm him down.

Gently hushing Steve, Danny kicked off his shoes and crawled onto the small bed, carefully avoiding the IV lines and monitors attached to him. He propped himself against the headboard as Steve shifted, leaning back against Danny’s chest, his head resting on Danny’s shoulder. Danny put an arm around him, stroking Steve’s chest soothingly, mindful of the burns.

“S’okay, babe, I’m here. I got you.” He mumbled. Steve let out a shaky breath, his body slowly relaxing back into Danny’s.

“My… my dad?” He asked. Danny shook his head regretfully. “Right. Right, four years.” Steve muttered. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.”

“Wo Fat… He’s really dead?” Danny realized that Steve was probably still struggling to sort out what had actually happened and what had just been imagined.

“A bullet right between his eyes.” Danny reassured him. Steve nodded, satisfied at the answer, and Danny pressed his lips to the top of Steve’s head. “Try to get some more sleep, huh?” He suggested. Steve nodded again.

“Okay.” He turned his head so it was tucked under Danny’s chin and let out a deep sigh. He didn’t say anything else, but Danny could feel him shaking with tension until he finally fell back asleep.

As he lay there holding Steve, Danny’s thoughts turned to the consequences this would have on Steve’s psyche down the road. He knew Steve, knew he would try to brush this off, knew he would downplay how badly it was affecting him. He’d done it after North Korea and Afghanistan, lying straight to the team’s faces, telling them he was fine, he was used to this sort of thing, that he’d been trained to withstand exactly this sort of torture. But they knew better, _Danny_ knew better.

He’d seen the dark circles under Steve’s eyes and the haunted look on his face. He’d seen how listless and spaced out Steve had been for weeks afterwards, but he still hadn’t done anything, because deep down, Danny knew he wasn’t much better himself. He still hadn’t talked to anyone about Matty, let alone talked about it with Steve. So as much as he knew Steve would lie about how bad it was, Danny also knew he wouldn’t press Steve to talk about it. He knew they’d never talk about this, the physical comfort, either, and for a moment, Danny hated himself for it.

Eventually, he started to get sick thinking about it, so he let his mind go blank and just tightened his grip around Steve’s shoulders, holding him until the next nurse came in to check Steve’s vitals for the night.

**-5.12-**

Danny watched as Steve checked in with Kamekona to see how Nahele was doing at his new job. It tugged at his heart to see how quickly Steve had taken the kid under his wing.

He was still a little upset with Steve for leaving Grace alone in the street, but to be fair, it had been a well-populated neighborhood and, despite his teasing, Danny knew how much the Marquis meant to Steve. Steve was hiding it well (and refusing to talk to any of them about it), but Danny knew he was still shaken up by his abduction and the hallucinations about his father still being alive. Under the circumstances, Danny figured his reaction to his father’s car being stolen wasn’t quite as over the top as it seemed at first.

He stood and wandered over to Steve, who looked at him warily.

“You know what you are?” Danny asked him. Steve looked away, his expression resigned, like he expected Danny to yell at him.

“This should be good.”

“You’re a - a half-baked cookie. Soft, gooey on the inside. Kid should be in juvenile hall and you go and you give him a job. That’s why I love you, babe.” Saying it so casually always hurt a little, but Danny thought Steve needed to hear it. “You, uh… you like fixing broken toys, right?”

Steve turned to look at the table where their friends and family were all gathered, his face softening as he watched them laughing together.

“Yeah. I guess I do.“ He murmured.

**-5.13-  
**

Danny strode determinedly down the halls of Tripler, trying not to look as frantic as he felt, but he could tell he wasn’t doing a very good job by the concerned looks he was getting from the hospital staff.

A wrecking ball, an honest-to-god wrecking ball, had flipped the car Steve was in. Steve could be nothing more than a mangled, paralyzed mess right now, and all Danny wanted to do was find him and hug him and make sure he was all right and-

“Hey, you know what? Why don’t you get an apartment next-door, ‘cause you’re here so often. Huh? How about that?” Steve looked up at him, unimpressed by his noisy arrival.

“I’m fine. Thanks for asking.” Steve answered sarcastically.

“Uh-huh. Hey, Doc, make sure you punch his card, huh?” Danny wasn’t sure why he always responded to situations like this with bad humor, but Steve did look fine; he just had a few scrapes on his face and a bandage on his arm. Danny turned to Joe, not entirely pleased that he was back in their lives, but still relieved to see him standing, if only for Steve’s sake. “You all right?”

“Doctors, could you give us a minute, please?” Joe asked. “Thank you.”

“You all right?” Danny asked again.

“Yeah.” Joe easily brushed off his concern.

“This time.” Steve muttered under his breath. Danny privately agreed with him as he turned away, wiping a hand over his face as he tried to shake off the stress. “So, what do we know?” Steve prompted, and Danny filled him in on what they knew about what turned out to be one of their most harrowing cases to date. Danny knew he was going to be wary of bees for months.

After Joe had nearly sent Steve into cardiac arrest over his stunt with the truck, Danny went with Steve to go visit his former commanding officer in quarantine. Danny knew Steve had ulterior motives for visiting, and to be fair, Joe had had more than his share of shady motivations, but it still saddened Danny to see Steve so suspicious of someone he considered a friend.

“We online?” Steve asked as he got into the car. Danny reluctantly showed him the video feed.

“I thought you said you trusted him.” Danny said, worried by the intense look Steve had in his eyes. Joe was an incredibly important person in Steve’s life and Danny hated that he had been the cause of so much pain and confusion.

“I lied.”

**-5.16-**

The fact that Danny had genuinely just been trying to have a nice weekend away with Amber (or rather, Melissa) and had still somehow ended up in the hospital with a stab wound was nothing short of infuriating. Apparently he’d been spending too much time around Steve; he was becoming a danger magnet.

At least Melissa was sticking around. Danny listened to her story, heartbroken that so many awful things had happened to her, and he reassured her that he wasn’t going anywhere either. He had far too much baggage himself to be judgemental of anyone else, especially of someone who obviously cared about him deeply. As he and Melissa talked, Danny caught sight of Steve hovering by the door, but before Danny could call him in, Steve just smiled at him and left. Danny shrugged mentally. They would catch up later. Eventually they were told visiting hours were over, and Melissa left for the night, kissing him and promising to be back in the morning. Exhausted, Danny closed his eyes and let the medication they had him hooked up to drag him into sleep.

Danny slowly woke up to the sound of someone entering his room. He didn’t bother opening his eyes, figuring it was just Melissa sneaking back in. He was drifting back to sleep when he felt someone gently take his hand. It was far too big to be Melissa’s, so Danny cracked open an eye. The room was still dark, but the lights from the hall were enough for Danny to make out Steve standing by his bed. There was no way Danny was waking up enough to talk about this new development, so he just closed his eyes and waited. He wasn’t sure how long Steve stood there, holding his hand, but Danny was about to give up and actually fall asleep again when he heard Steve begin to talk.

“I was so scared to get that call, Danny. I was so… You’ve been hurt tons of times, but this wasn’t a case, this was just some nut job, and I - I wasn’t there with you… I should’ve been with you.” Steve sniffed hard. “I’m no good at this kinda thing, Danno. I should be telling you this when you’re awake, but I just - I just can’t get it together. I love you, you’re my best friend, man. I can’t lose you.”

Danny felt a wave of guilt rush over him as Steve spoke. If Steve thought he was asleep… Jesus. He briefly wondered if he should let Steve know he was awake, but he quickly dismissed the idea, knowing it would just embarrass Steve to know his little speech had been heard, so Danny just stayed quiet and tried to keep still. After a few minutes he felt Steve let go of his hand. And then he felt Steve’s lips on his forehead, heard a soft “Feel better soon,” and Steve was out the door.

Danny let out a harsh breath, stared hard at the ceiling, and wished his life wasn’t so complicated.

**-5.17-**

Danny knew he was being more difficult lately. He had been reacting more to Steve’s taunts, picking fights over little things, and just antagonizing Steve in general. Which wasn’t to say Steve was behaving any better. He was being just as childish as Danny knew he himself was acting.

Danny was just so _sick_ of how controlling Steve was. The man had no right to dictate every little detail of Danny’s life, but there he was, driving Danny’s car, picking what they ate, the music they listened to. The list never ended.

Danny loved him. He really did, and he was mature enough to admit that some of their problems were stemming from how much he loved Steve, and how badly he wanted them to get along. But Steve was stubborn, and Danny was stubborn too, and since they almost never saw eye-to-eye on anything, that meant a lot of arguments. And right now, the thought of being cooped up in a small apartment with Steve for days on end was making him consider faking his own death.

It only took about five minutes for the arguing to start. First it was the cat, then Steve’s refusal to move to put away his used plate, and then he made of point of asking Danny to choose dinner and promptly ignored all his suggestions.

By the second day, Danny was ready to smack Steve in his stupid face with the workbook if he kept ignoring the assignment from Doctor Carlin. Steve’s avoidance of even the simplest questions was driving Danny nuts. Danny was trying, damn it, and if Steve could just make the effort to meet him halfway, to just talk to him, it would make things so much easier.

It wasn’t until late that night, when Danny woke up after falling asleep on the couch, that he snapped. Steve couldn’t even admit that he’d been reading the workbook and Danny was just tired.

“That’s it? You’re unbelievable.” Steve just blinked at him. “I mean, I - I have seen you personally put yourself in every conceivable life-threatening situation without batting an eye, like it’s nothing. But when it comes to talking about your feelings, forget about it, you’d rather chew cyanide. Huh?” Steve looked away and didn’t say a word. Danny huffed disgustedly and threw himself back down on the couch. “Forget it. Wake me up if they stop or do something interesting, or open up their curtains.”

“You want to know why I don’t play guitar anymore?” Steve asked quietly after a long moment.

“Yes, I would like to know why you don’t play guitar anymore.” Danny said, turning back to look at him. Steve continued to stare straight ahead, face blank, as he started to speak.

“Tenth grade talent show. I signed up to perform. I practiced the song every day for months and months, and the day finally came around. I was standing in the wings. My guitar was in tune. They called my name, I walked out on stage. I turn around and look at all those people. And I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do it, so I walked off and never played guitar ever again.”

“That’s it?” Danny asked disbelievingly. It was hard to imagine Steve being that scared of anything.

“That’s it.” Steve confirmed.

“Tenth grade, you had stage fright, so you never played guitar ever again?”

“I didn’t have stage fright, it was bigger than that. I’m telling you, man, it was a, uh… You know, I guess it was an existential crisis. I just, in that moment, I couldn’t handle the - the vulnerability that I was experiencing. I couldn’t handle how exposed I felt.” Steve’s voice hitched the tiniest bit. “I felt like I couldn’t breathe, and I thought it was gonna kill me.” He turned to Danny, eyes wide like he expected Danny to say something. When he didn’t, Steve just sighed and looked away again. Danny caught the defeated expression on his face. “Look, man, I was raised differently than you, okay? I wasn’t raised in a house with a supportive family encouraging me to share my feelings. And in your case, every feeling. The McGarrett men are a different breed. They… To them, showing emotion is like showing weakness, you know? I mean, it’s stupid, but it’s just the way it is.”

Danny already knew all that. He knew Steve wasn’t the best with emotions, knew he hated talking about them and trying to express himself, and he knew that Steve had never been in an environment where emotionalism was encouraged, growing up at home or otherwise. He also knew that Steve was more sensitive than he seemed, that he was easily hurt and had been hurt a lot, so he just ignored and suppressed a lot of things he shouldn’t. He briefly thought about how Steve hadn’t told him he loved him in months, not since Danny was stabbed, but Danny wasn’t even supposed to hear that, so he couldn’t actually remember the last time Steve said it.

“Mm, I understand that, um… I just figure after everything we’ve been through, you know - your father, my brother, everything - I figured maybe I was, you know, somebody that you could open up to, is all, you know?” He countered gently.

“I just did.” Steve said, turning to him with a soft, expectant grin. And then he looked past Danny at the open window and the moment was broken.

Danny dwelled on the conversation for the rest of the day. He didn’t want to make a habit of it, but he felt like doing something nice for Steve since he had actually decided to use his words for once, and he had finally started his half of the assignment. So when the case was wrapped up, he made his excuses and ducked out for a few hours before swinging back to pick up Steve.

“Got your homework ready?” He asked.

“Dog ate it.”

“Oh. Oh. Look, I got something for you.”

“You got something for me?” Steve seemed surprised.

“I do.” Danny agreed, opening the trunk. “There you go.” Steve stopped for a moment, pulling the case halfway out of the trunk before he turned to Danny, a slightly confused look on his face.

“What is this?” He asked.

“What is it? Well, it’s a tuba, you schmuck. What does it look like?” Danny retorted.

“You got me a tuba?” Steve was grinning now, his expression delighted as he set the case on the trunk. “Danny, Danny, Danny.” He murmured as he opened it. He lifted the lid and stared at the guitar without saying anything.

“Huh? Huh?” Danny prompted, worried he’d overstepped.

“Danny, that’s, uh…”

“Nice, right?”

“Nice? Yeah. It’s - it’s beautiful. You kidding me?” Steve picked up the guitar and plucked a few strings.

“Figured you start playing again, maybe play that song you never got to play.” Danny explained.

“This is really, uh… This is… I don’t know what to say. Thank you.” Steve said, his eyes definitely a little watery as he stared at Danny. Danny nodded at him, pleased that he’d obviously made Steve so happy.

“Let’s go before the, uh, lady has a panic attack.” He said. Five seconds later, he almost had a heart attack when Steve tossed him the keys, but he wasn’t going to argue.

**-5.18-**

Danny couldn’t believe they had arrested him in front of his daughter. It was only a little less surprising that they’d done it when he figured out that Reyes had somehow been working for the CIA. It still didn’t help him block out the image of Grace’s terrified face as he’d been dragged away. It also didn’t help alleviate any of the guilt he’d carried around since he’d shot Reyes. Whatever the man had done, he had deserved a trial, not Danny’s gun against his forehead, and maybe it was the guilt he’d been carrying around for months that made Danny sign the waiver being shoved at him. Whatever the reason, he was being sent to Colombia.

Hearing Steve calling out for him as he was being led to the judge’s chambers wasn’t a surprise at all.

“Hey! Hey, Danny! Danny! Hey! Hey! Hey!”

“Commander McGarrett? I’m gonna have to ask you to step back from the prisoner.” Alexander told him.

“Who are you? Huh?” Steve demanded, eyes darting between Danny and the agent.

“Steve, it’s okay.” Danny tried to reassure him. Steve looked relatively calm, if angry, but Danny could tell he was freaking out.

“No, it’s not okay.” Steve brushed him off and turned back to Alexander. “This man has been denied counsel. That’s a violation of his civil rights, you understand that?” He asked.

“Uh, this man refused counsel, Commander.” Alexander informed Steve, a disgustingly smug smile on his face. Steve looked at Danny like he’d been punched.

“Why would you do that, Danny?” He asked. Danny looked away. Steve rounded on Alexander again, clearly ready to fight. “What did you threaten him with?”

“He - he didn’t threaten me.” Danny interjected. He didn’t have time to explain what had happened, even though Steve’s confused and frantic looks were breaking his heart. He just needed to know Grace would be taken care of. “Steve, listen to me. I signed the paper. Everything’s okay. Just please talk to Grace and tell her I’m okay and that I’m gonna call her soon as I can. Can you do that, please?”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Steve snapped, turning once again to Alexander, pointing a threatening finger at him. “You listen to me, listen to me. I was there. When Marco Reyes was murdered, I was in the room, you understand? You hearing me? If the Colombians want Danny, they want me, too.”

“Yeah, well, then you’re lucky that your friend here is keeping you off their radar.” Alexander said.

“No, no, no, no. I’m not gonna let you do that. You’re not gonna sign an extradition to protect me. What are you doing?” Steve asked him. Danny didn’t have time to answer as he was pulled away.

“You don’t have a choice. Deal’s been made.”

“Call Grace, huh? Call Gra- call Grace. Promise me you’ll talk to Grace.” Danny called out. Steve’s horrified expression was the last thing he saw before the door closed, and eight hours later, Danny was on a plane.

It had only been a few days in the Colombian prison, but it was long enough for both the inmates and the guards to work him over pretty thoroughly. At least he’d gotten to hear Grace’s voice before he died. Danny was slumped against the wall of his cell, appreciating the reprieve from gen-pop but quietly letting go of his last bit of hope, when the door slammed open.

“Get up. Get up.” The guard pulled him roughly to his feet and started dragging him through the halls. Danny tried to pull away, but the cracked ribs made it hard to resist.

“What’s going on? Where - where are you taking me?” He asked, his stomach twisting unpleasantly.

“You’re going home.” The guard answered shortly.

“What?”

“The charges against you have been dropped. You’re going home.” Danny didn’t understand. He followed the guard in a haze, his head spinning as he was loaded into a truck and taken back to the airport. Once again, he was left alone on a plane for almost twelve hours with only a vague idea of what was happening.

Steve’s anxious face was the first thing Danny saw when he stepped off the plane. His eyebrows were drawn up with worry and he looked like he hadn’t slept in days. He probably hadn’t. Steve rushed over to him, stopping short when he saw Danny’s injuries. He lifted his hands slowly and carefully cupped Danny’s face in his hands, and for one exhilarating, _terrifying_ moment, Danny thought Steve was going to kiss him. But then he just gently turned Danny’s head to the side to look more closely at the abrasions on his face.

“Oh god, Danny.” He whispered. “What did they do to you?”

“Ah, nothing, it, uh, looks worse than it is.” Danny dismissed.

“Looks pretty bad.” Steve argued, lightly touching the bruising on Danny’s cheek. Danny flinched and pushed his hands away.

“It’s - I’m fine. How’s Grace? Is Chin okay? They didn’t get him for this, did they?” Steve shook his head.

“They, uh, certainly tried. Coughlin had him for a while, but he overplayed his hand. Waincroft killed him and escaped, so they, um, couldn’t exactly follow through on the charges without their testimonies.” Danny stared at Steve in disbelief.

“Okay, you’ll have to explain that one to me in more detail. And Alexander?” He asked. Steve shrugged.

“Reyes was paying him. We got proof, so it just took a little blackmail to do the rest.” Steve reached out and tugged lightly on Danny’s sleeve. “Come on, I’ll tell you about it in the car.”

Danny followed him, noticing that Steve didn’t let go of his sleeve until they were getting in the truck. He only half-listened to Steve talking as they drove, seeing the soft glances Steve kept sending him, like he was checking that Danny was still there.

“Thank you.” Danny said as Steve pulled up outside his house.

“Or you could say ‘mahalo’.” Steve suggested.

“I suppose I could.” Danny replied. Steve looked at him a little sadly.

“Still, huh? After all these years, you still hate this place.”

“Oh, no, buddy, I’m still trying to figure out a way to like you. Okay? Forget this place.” Steve laughed a bit, obviously seeing right though him.

“Fair enough.” And then… “Let me ask you a question. Why didn’t you lawyer up? Why didn’t you get a lawyer to fight this thing? I don’t understand.”

“I don’t know. I don’t think there’s any lawyer who could change what I did.” Danny mumbled. He wasn’t sure he could get Steve to understand.

“They… they could get you off, Danny.” Steve was frowning, concerned and still confused. Danny knew Steve didn’t exactly think he’d done the right thing, shooting Reyes, but he also knew Steve wouldn’t understand the guilt Danny felt over it. To Steve, Reyes was just another bad guy who had met an untimely end.

“All right, well, um… Look, I, uh, I’ve been living with what I did, feeling a certain way about it ever since I did it. Okay? And maybe some crazy part of me just didn’t want to feel that way anymore. You know?” Danny tried to explain.

“I guess.”

“But that does not mean that I am not happy and grateful that I am here, so thank you, partner.” Danny said, hoping Steve knew he was being sincere.

“You’re the one who was ready to go to jail to keep me out of it. I should be thanking you.” Steve countered.

“That’s what family does, right?” Danny asked him. Steve’s expression softened again and he gave a tiny smile.

“Yeah.”

“Danno!” Grace… God, Danny thought he was never going to see his little girl again.

“Speaking of which… How do I look?”

“You look great.” Steve told him, still smiling. Danny knew he looked liked hell, but he just thanked Steve again, and walked out to meet his daughter, catching her and pulling her close.

**-5.19-**

Danny was pleasantly surprised when Steve showed up to collect him from the airport. He’d been planning on taking a taxi home, but this was much more convenient. He had a few choice words for Steve.

“Heard you had an interesting week.” Danny said conversationally as Steve started driving. He didn’t respond so Danny continued. “Only _you_ could get in a shootout at six in the morning while getting a haircut. It’s like you have a - a neon sign following you that just says ‘send bullets this way’.”

“Yeah.” Steve shrugged and didn’t elaborate.

“You gonna fill me in on what happened?” Danny asked. “Chin didn’t really give me any details beyond ‘your crazy partner got into another gunfight and caused thousands of dollars in property damage’.”

“I - I filled out a report, okay? You can read it later.” Steve looked uncomfortable. He was glaring at the road, hands tight on the wheel, and the corners of his mouth were turned down. Danny frowned.

“Well, I’d, uh, like to hear about it now, if you don’t mind, Steven.”

“Just leave it, Danny.”

“Leave - I’m not gonna leave it!” Danny fumed. “I would just like to hear - from your mouth - the reason why you were in a shootout with an Armenian gang at a barbershop!” A second later, Danny seized the grab handle as Steve veered off the road and pulled over to the side. He was breathing heavily, his hands white where they were still clutching the wheel. “Steve?” Danny asked, worried now.

“What.” His voice was flat.

“Is… is Odell okay?”

“Yes.”

“Okay… Um, are Kono and Lou all right? Chin didn’t say- Jesus, Steve!” Danny leaned forward so fast he almost strangled himself on the seatbelt as Steve let out a choked noise and dropped his head into his hands, his shoulders shaking. Danny reached out hesitantly, unsure if his touch would be accepted.

“I was trying… so hard to protect that kid… and it was for nothing.” Steve ground out as Danny fretted next to him. “People died because I was trying to protect a - a serial killer.”

“Hey, shh, it’s okay. Tell me what happened, start at the beginning.” Danny listened, horrified, as Steve told him the story. He had to physically fight back the urge to vomit when Steve told him about the trophy room.

“He had pictures, Danny, dozens of them. Just kids, just… little kids, and I almost helped him get away with it.”

“Hey, hey, you didn’t know. You didn’t… you just saw someone in need and you didn’t ask questions, you just tried to help them, save the day, right? Isn’t that what you do?” Steve nodded slowly. “Yeah, that’s why I love you, babe, you’re always ready to protect people. It just turned out that, um, this wasn’t someone who should have been protected. It’s - you didn’t know, Steve. You didn’t know.”

“I know. I just can’t help but thinking… What if he’d got away?” Steve confessed. Danny looked at him and saw the horrified look Steve was barely keeping hidden. Danny knew, more than most people, what it was like to have those ‘what-ifs’ running constantly through his head. He also knew that Steve didn’t have those doubts very often, or, at the very least, he didn’t dwell on them.

“But he didn’t. He didn’t, okay? That’s all that matters, okay?” Danny reassured him. And that _was_ all that mattered. At the end of the day, that was what got Danny through; telling himself that the fact that the perp didn’t get away was what actually mattered, not what happened in between their crime and their arrest. After a few seconds, Steve seemed to accept his answer.

“Yeah, yeah, okay.” Steve sniffed and wiped his nose on his hand. “Thanks, Danny.”

“’Course. Anytime.” Danny nodded towards the wheel. “You, uh, you okay to drive? Need me to take over?”

“You’re a jerk.” Steve told him, but he was smiling. Danny laughed and smiled back.

**-5.24-**

Danny’s heart was breaking. He had a son. A son whose first three years of life he’d missed out on. And to find out now, when the possibility of Charlie even having more years was being called into question, was absolutely killing him. He might never get to catch up on the lost time, he realized. He might never even get a chance to help raise his own child. It wasn’t fair, and in that moment, he hated Rachel for what she had done.

That evening found Danny staring out over the Pacific, wondering how his life had gotten to this point. Steve had, of course, called to see how his meeting with Rachel had gone, and as soon as he figured out it hadn’t gone well, he had come to find him. Danny told him the whole story.

He knew Steve was just trying to help, but when he started to stick up for Rachel, Danny thought he was going to hit him. But as Steve continued talking, Danny quickly realized that Steve wasn’t sticking up for her, he was just trying to protect Charlie, make sure he wasn’t exposed to extra stress while he was sick. Steve had known the kid was Danny’s for all of ten minutes and he was already looking out for him. Danny loved him for it. He looked over at Steve and saw the broken look on his face as he stared across the road, considering Danny’s situation. Despite still being furious at Rachel, Danny’s heart melted at the compassion Steve had for his family.

Danny knew Steve adored Grace, that he would do anything for her, and it was a great comfort knowing that he was looking out for her. He suddenly wanted his son to have the same affection from Steve. Ignoring the implications of that particular train of thought, Danny dragged his mind back on track to the conversation at hand. He was trying to figure out a way to let Steve know that he wanted him to be a part of Charlie’s life, too, when Steve’s phone rang and they were dragged back into the case.

**-5.25-**

The second they ended their conversation with Catherine, Danny rounded on Steve.

“So, how long’s she staying?” He asked. Steve’s face immediately closed off.

“We, uh, didn’t discuss that.” Steve said reluctantly, looking out the window and scratching his nose to avoid looking at Danny.

“Uh-huh. Was her suitcase big or - or was it small?” Danny pressed, continuing his interrogation despite Steve’s obvious discomfort.

“It was… medium.”

“‘Medium’.” Danny repeated, nodding thoughtfully. “She staying with you or is she staying at a hotel while she’s here?”

“We didn’t discuss that, either.” Steve gave him a tight smile, his tone exasperated. “Anything else?” He asked, already giving in to Danny’s version of twenty questions.

“Look, I - I like Catherine very much, okay? And I’m just not too happy about the way that she left things. And now she comes back, not so much as a phone call… I think that, for you, it would be good to find out, uh, what her plans are, so she doesn’t, uh, you know, rip your heart out again, that’s all.” Danny said. He didn’t think he was being overly harsh, but if he was a little bitter about the way Catherine had left things, it was only because he remembered holding Steve and comforting him the night she’d left. Jealousy had absolutely nothing to do with it.

“Well, she didn’t rip my heart out, Danny. She went to, uh, do what she thought was right.” Danny didn’t believe that for a second. He wondered how much Steve actually remembered from that night; he’d still been on some pretty heavy painkillers.

“Right, she left you for a - for a bunch of strangers.” Danny pointed out.

“She went to help people in need, but like I said before, Danny, I don’t expect you to understand that.” Steve taunted. Danny was just offended enough to take the bait.

“Oh, ‘cause I don’t help people in need? That’s what I do for a living. I do it every day. I just wouldn’t walk over my family members to do it.” He snapped.

“That’s a little overdramatic, even for you.”

“Really? ‘Cause I was gonna say something a lot worse, I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“Hey, hold on, hold on. I just had an idea.” Steve said, widening his eyes like a light bulb had just gone off over his stupid head. “Why don’t we talk about your relationship? You lied to your girlfriend, right? Huh? When are you gonna talk to her about that?”

“Wow, okay, well, I - I suppose I will talk to her when the time is right.” Danny evaded the question, hoping to provoke Steve. If he was going to bring up the incident with Rachel and Melissa (like it was even remotely comparable to Steve and Catherine’s situation), then Danny was going to be as annoying as possible about it.

“There you go! Now that’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna talk to Catherine when the time is right.” He said, a smug smile spreading across his face.

“Okay.” Danny conceded, backing off. He heard Steve sigh loudly but he decided to ignore it.

**-6.01-**

Danny sighed and glanced over at Steve before bracing himself to bring up the topic of Catherine once again.

“Some party last night.” He started.

“Epic. Epic party.” Steve agreed. “You know, me and Catherine, we passed out as soon as we walked in the door. I woke up in my tux.”

“So I take it that means you did not have the talk.” Danny said. He was strangely disappointed, but he should have known Steve would put off any conversation involving feelings.

“What talk?” Steve asked flatly.

“What talk? What are you…? The talk. We talked about the talk. Remember? ‘How long you staying? What are your plans? What’s going on with you and I?’ The talk.” Danny reminded him. He knew Steve hadn’t actually forgotten the conversation they had had yesterday.

“Ohh, the talk.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah. No, we didn’t have the talk. I didn’t get around to it.” Steve said shortly.

“Well, if you’d like me to Cyrano that conversation, I can do that. You know, you just tell me when and where, and I’ll be there.” Danny offered.

“Thank you. It’s fine. I got this. We’ll, uh, we’ll have the talk.” Steve reassured him, a small shit-eating grin playing across his lips. Danny squinted at him.

“You know, if you’re scared, I can understand that.” Danny told him. “It’s - it’s okay to be scared. You can admit that to me.”

“Why would I admit that when I’m not scared? I’m not scared.” Steve immediately denied.

“You’re not?”

“No.”

“No, ‘cause I understand that you’re a Navy SEAL, and being fragile is not something you are allowed to be, being a Navy SEAL, so, you know, if she hurt you once pretty good, I imagine she… well, she might do it again. That’s understandable.” Danny ranted, frustrated that Steve was being so closed-off and evasive again. He thought they had made some progress after Steve’s quiet confession back during the stakeout. Clearly he had been mistaken.

“Hey, listen to me for a second.” Steve begged. “Listen, I appreciate your advice. I know you’re trying to do me a favor, but could you please, please just stop talking? That’s all, just… you know?”

“Okay.” Danny conceded. “You want to be alone, you want to be miserable for the rest of your life, don’t listen to me.”

“You are alone and you are _always_ miserable, and - and that is exactly why I’m not listening to you, okay? And that’s also why I’m gonna ask Catherine to marry me.” Danny felt like a bucket of cold water had been thrown over him.

“Say that again.” He demanded.

“I said you’re always miserable.”

“The other part!”

“I’m gonna ask Catherine to marry me.” Steve said with a small laugh. Slowly, Danny started regaining sensation in his limbs, the shock finally receding. They hadn’t even talked about if Catherine was staying or not, and Steve was going to propose? Danny gave himself a hard mental shake.

“Well, it is about time.” He said. He wanted Steve to be happy. Steve _deserved_ to be happy. Danny only hoped that Catherine was the right path to that happiness and that she wouldn’t break Steve’s heart. Again. Pushing those thoughts aside, he refocused on his friend’s happiness, finding it contagious.

“I agree with you. It’s, uh, something I should have done a long time ago.” Steve had a soft, contented air about him, his eyes shining as he glanced between the Danny and the road.

“I am very proud of you, buddy.” Danny praised, grinning like a maniac.

“Thank you.”

“This is fantastic, huh? Look at this. See this? This is me not miserable. I am happy right now, for you.” He laughed.

“Give it time. It’ll pass, I’m sure.”

“Hey, buddy, that’s great!” Danny reached out to pinch Steve, suddenly elated that his best friend was going to get married.

“Hey, hey, I’m driving here! What, are you crazy?!” Steve yelped, but he was still beaming his thousand watt smile.

“Yeah, it’s good. Wow!”

“I’m picking the tuxes.” Steve declared.

“Fine.” Danny said. Steve was getting married. Danny could let him pick his own tux. As long as it was the right one.

A few hours later saw the team hacking through the thick foliage of the jungle on a literal treasure hunt. Danny only hoped that Jerry had as much insight into the map-making habits of pirates as he seemed to think he did.

“Are we there yet?” He asked, only half-joking.

“Well, according to Jerry, it should be right over this ridge.” Steve said, consulting his handheld GPS.

“I’m just gonna keep it real, man. If these perps are up here, I’m gonna be way too damn tired to arrest ‘em.” Lou confessed.

“We could just shoot the guy when we get there.” Danny suggested. “Steve, you’re good with that, right?”

“Yeah, you children done complaining yet or what?”

“Anybody got any bug spray?” Chin asked. “I’m getting eaten alive out here.”

“Okay, I can’t keep it a secret anymore, Steve has something that he would like to share with everybody, with the group.” Danny announced. He’d really been doing so well keeping quiet.

“I hope it’s bug spray.” Chin muttered.

“Danny!” Steve warned.

“It’s good news!”

“Come on. Really?”

“You should share it.” Danny insisted. “He’s getting married!” Steve gave him an unimpressed look and spread his hands at his sides, silently asking Danny why he had even opened his mouth as Chin and Lou both let out surprised exclamations. Danny just laughed as Steve continued to stare at Danny like he’d betrayed him. Danny felt like a bit of a jerk for just blurting it out, but he was honestly just happy for Steve, and he wanted their friends to be happy for him too.

And maybe a very small, very malicious part of him had just wanted to put Steve on the spot, to make him rethink his decision, to really be _sure_ that Catherine was the the right choice. The same tiny part was also maybe a little bit jealous of Steve’s happiness and had wanted to embarrass Steve without actually hurting him. Danny viciously shoved those thoughts away, telling himself to just be a supportive friend, no matter how he actually felt about Steve.

“Yes, I was gonna propose to Catherine, unless, of course, big mouth here already blew the surprise.” Steve finally said.

“Well, that’s great news!” Chin exclaimed.

“Yeah, mazel tov, brother.” Lou added. Steve thanked them, his expression stony and with no trace of the happiness that had been there when he’d told Danny.

“When’s the big day?” Chin asked.

“I don’t know. I got to… I got to get a ring and find a location. But soon.”

“Look, I asked Rachel to marry me with a soda can ring.” Danny admitted.

“I think we all remember how that worked out.” Lou interjected.

“Hey, listen, she was, uh, very surprised. It was very romantic.” Danny defended himself.

“I bet it was.” Steve interrupted. “It’s a nice story, Danny, but I want to do this right, you know? It’s been a long time coming, so… You know, not that yours wasn’t right, but…”

“Well, if you’re gonna do it, do it right.” Lou agreed.

“I appreciate it.” Steve told him, still shooting Danny nasty looks out of the corner of his eye. Danny was about to open his mouth to ask Lou if he thought Steve was crazy for planning a proposal without even asking Catherine if she was going to stay the week, but he was saved by Chin’s discovery of the cave entrance. Danny bit his tongue as Steve brushed past him and sent a silent ‘thank you’ Chin’s way.

**-6.03-**

It was breaking Danny’s heart to hear Steve so convinced that Catherine was leaving again. Privately, Danny had to admit that a secretive phone call in Pashto was kind of a huge red flag given Catherine’s history, but he was trying to stay positive for his friend.

Eventually, the sick feeling that had started in his stomach when Steve told him about the phone call got to be too much, and Danny called Catherine. It was underhanded and way overstepping his bounds, but he couldn’t stand by and do nothing while Steve was hurting.

Danny thought the conversation with Catherine had gone well. She seemed to understand that she had seriously hurt Steve, and her regret at hurting him seemed genuine. But something about her answer when he asked if she was sticking around for good (“There is nothing that I want more,” she’d said) had seemed evasive and a sense of uneasiness settled over Danny. His phone rang later that night, and when Danny saw Steve’s name come up on the screen his stomach dropped.

“Steve? What’s up?”

“Danny…” There was a long pause on the other end of the line.

“Steve?” Danny tried again. A small cough came through the speaker.

“Sorry. Um. Cath…” Danny closed his eyes in dread. “Catherine left.” Steve sounded strangely okay. His voice was far too calm and level for someone whose girlfriend had just abandoned him for the second time, and that set Danny on edge.

“I’ll be right over.” He grabbed his keys, already moving towards the door before Steve’s next words halted him in his tracks.

“No, Danny, it’s fine. I was… I was expecting this, you know?”

“You were _suspecting_ this, there’s a difference.” Danny corrected quietly, fidgeting with the keys in his hand as he hesitated by the door. Steve didn’t answer so Danny continued. “I don’t mind, Steve. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.” He hoped making it a statement would force Steve to accept his offer. A long sigh crackled through the phone.

“Okay.” Danny bolted for his car.

When Steve answered the door his face was carefully blank, a perfect non-expression, but Danny knew where to look for the signs of distress. It was in the corners of his mouth, pulled down and held tight. The slight angle of his eyebrows, the soft skin around his eyes crinkling as he tried to keep the hurt out of them. His shoulders were stiff and straight as he stood back to let Danny in. They stood there for a moment, just looking at each other.

“I’m sorry.” Danny finally said, for lack of anything else to say. Steve’s shoulders slumped and Danny opened his arms. Steve practically fell into him and Danny rubbed his back as Steve rested his chin on Danny’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry. What happened?”

“She said she needed more than what a relationship could give her.” Steve muttered, his voice still eerily steady.

“That - that doesn’t really sound like a you-specific problem.” Danny offered, still stroking Steve’s back. Steve turned his head suddenly and buried his face into Danny’s neck, his nose finding its way into the open collar of Danny’s shirt. Danny froze.

“She’s going to Nepal.” Steve said, his breath hot on Danny’s skin. “To help the Red Cross deliver supplies.”

“Oh.” Danny managed, still shocked by Steve’s unusually clingy behavior. “Um, how long will she be gone for?”

“She wasn’t sure. I - I told her I couldn’t wait for her this time.” Steve sank further down, leaning more of his body weight against Danny. He slid his hands to Steve’s waist, trying to steady him so they didn’t fall. “I don’t understand why she’d rather be running supply drops than staying with me.” Steve continued in a small voice.

“Well, there’s no accounting for taste.” Danny said. He tried to push Steve back a little, his back protesting the taller man’s weight. “Steve, babe, you gotta… you gotta let me up a bit.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Steve stepped back and Danny immediately missed his warmth. Steve stood there, shifting awkwardly, his eyes pleading with Danny for something, _anything_ , and Danny gave in. He always did.

“No, it’s okay. C’mon, let’s just… the couch… you want a beer or something?” Danny stammered. He realized it was kind of stupid to offer Steve a beer in his own home, but Steve just shook his head and followed Danny to the couch. Danny sat down, waiting for Steve to join him, but Steve surprised him again by stretching out on the couch instead. Danny let out a startled grunt as Steve dropped his head onto his lap. Tentatively, Danny reached out and stroked Steve’s hair, playing with the short strands as he ran his hand over Steve’s head. “Do you, uh, do you want to talk about it?” He asked. Steve let out a heavy sigh and rubbed his head against Danny’s leg.

“Not much else to say.” He muttered, still painfully matter-of-fact.

“Okay. We can just… okay.” Danny fumbled for the remote and flicked the TV on. He felt Steve settle back against him as he browsed through the channels, but he didn’t say anything, just continued to pet at Steve’s hair.

Steve was holding it together pretty well, Danny thought. Catherine leaving hadn’t been entirely unexpected, but it was was still abrupt, and Danny didn’t want Steve to go back to the quiet distress he had experienced the last time she had gone. Danny wasn’t going to force Steve to talk, but he needed him to know he wasn’t alone. He rested his hand on Steve’s shoulder and just sat there with him, quietly watching the TV and thinking hard about how unfair it was that so many people in Steve’s life had left.

**-6.04-**

Danny looked up as Steve entered his room with a cursory knock.

“Hey, buddy. Just stopping by to check how you’re doing.” Steve announced, placing the bag he was holding down on Danny’s bedside table. “Brought you some eggplant parm.”

“Oh yeah? Well, tell Lou I said thanks when you see him.” Danny said, pulling down the edge of the bag to inspect the contents more thoroughly.

“Hey! I coulda made it.” Steve protested.

“I know for a fact that eggplant parm is not in your limited repertoire of recipes, Steven.” Steve shook his head and grinned at him. Danny smiled back before squinting at him thoughtfully. He could see the dark circles under Steve’s eyes that meant he wasn’t sleeping again. “How you holding up?” He asked quietly.

“Me? You’re the one who just had surgery, I should be asking you that.” Steve tried to deflect the question.

“I’m fine, all they did was stick a needle in me. You, my friend, were dumped.” Steve frowned at him.

“Oh, thanks, Danny. You have to phrase it like that?”

“How would you put it?” Danny retorted, but he met Steve’s gaze with a serious look. “I mean it, Steve. Anything you need, I’m there.” Steve lowered his eyes to the floor.

“I know, I… appreciate it. Thanks, Danno.” He shifted uncomfortably. “Look, I gotta run. We got a call right before we got here, but I wanted to check on you.” Danny flapped a hand at him.

“Get outta here, go save the island. Tell everyone I’m enjoying my time away from you.” Steve gave him a crooked smile.

“I’ll be back later.” He promised, and Danny waved him off again. Steve left the room in a rush and Danny sighed heavily.

He wished Steve would stop pretending he was okay with how things had ended with Catherine. It would have affected anyone, and Danny could tell that Steve was still torn up about it. He seemed fine most of the time, but once in a while, when Danny caught him off-guard, he would catch the tail-end of the heartbroken, thousand yard stare on Steve’s face before it was wiped away. Danny wished Steve would talk to him or to one of the team, but Steve was still exceptionally private, preferring to suffer in silence than to let anyone else in. Danny let out another sigh. He figured he could get another good nap in before Steve came back. Maybe then he would have more energy to try and force Steve to talk.

**-6.08-**

“Where you going?” Danny asked as Steve turned to leave the office.

“I’m going to get coffee with somebody. Is that all right?” Steve answered vaguely.

“Who you going to get coffee with?”

“None of your business. How is it your business?”

“Is it that girl you hung out with last week?” Danny pressed. Steve had been very reluctant to give him any details about that particular date. Danny wasn’t sure if it was because the date hadn’t gone well or because Steve wasn’t actually planning on seeing her again. Or because Steve thought there was potential and didn’t want to jinx it.

“What did I just say to you?” Steve snapped, pulling out his phone as it rang.

“Is that her right now? ‘Cause if it is, let me talk to her. I’ll set her straight.” Danny offered. No way was he letting another woman into Steve’s life without a thorough vetting process. Not that he’d ever let Steve know he was looking into his dates.

“No, no, you won’t talk to her. You’re never even gonna meet her. It’s Max, by the way.” Danny didn’t think that was very fair. He was just trying to look out for Steve’s well-being. Nobody wanted a repeat of Catherine, and if Danny had to be a little overbearing to prevent that from happening, then so be it. Danny let it go for the time being as they realized Hank had pulled one over on them, but he still tucked the conversation away for later examination.

**-6.11-**

Danny was kind of pissed, but he could see how Steve had accidentally signed them up for couples counseling. The big goof had probably just seen the words ‘boot camp’ and gotten so excited that he hadn’t read anything else. Steve’s score for the weekend just kept getting lower when he injured Danny’s ankle by acting like a complete idiot about Alyssa (Danny was going to let it slide this time, but only because he was pretty sure that Steve was still on the rebound from Catherine). He also didn’t appreciate being woken up in the middle of the night by Steve’s drunken clumsiness, but when Steve started rambling about how negative Danny was, how the trip had never had a chance to begin with, it hit Danny hard.

Despite everything, when Steve joined him at his table around lunch, Danny found himself telling Steve how Rachel had wanted to go to therapy and how he had refused, about the guilt he’d felt afterwards, wondering if it had been his fault that their marriage failed.

He hoped Steve got what he was trying to say. Danny didn’t want their relationship to fail because they hadn’t tried, he just maybe didn’t want to work on fixing it by airing their dirty laundry in front of other people. Danny had to admit that Steve had been very optimistic about this trip, and that he himself hadn’t been the most supportive or open to it. But Steve had tried, and he was trying now, sitting with Danny as they shared a burger and talked about artisanal soaps. Danny leaned back into his chair and decided that, even though he occasionally got on his nerves, he was incredibly glad to have met Steve.

**-6.14-**

“Nice that Jerry’s putting himself out there.” Steve said conversationally as they met back at the Camaro. Danny hummed in response. Jerry had grown on him but he wasn’t sure if he could handle two conspiracy nuts. “So you really couldn’t tell Melissa you loved her, huh?” Steve asked suddenly. Danny looked over at him, startled by the question. Steve looked back at him with wide eyes, a worried crease between his eyebrows. He looked a little sad, but Danny couldn’t think of a reason for him to be, so he dismissed it.

“I just, I dunno, I feel like saying it unless you really mean it is lying. Like, it’s gotta actually mean something. I don’t want to rush into anything, I - I have Grace to think about, too.”

“So you don’t love her?”

“I don’t… know yet. I can’t just say it, though.” Danny said lamely.

“You say it to me.” Steve pointed out. Danny froze, his heart skipping a beat.

“I - I don’t… that’s different.” He stammered.

“How?” Steve looked genuinely curious, and the fact that he wasn’t being a jerk about this wasn’t making it easy for Danny.

“Shut up, it just is. You’re not… you’re like a - a brother or something.” Or something… it wasn’t technically a lie. Steve quirked a small smile at him and Danny swallowed hard.

He hadn’t really given much thought as to why he couldn’t tell Melissa he loved her. By all accounts she was perfect for him; beautiful, fun to be with, and she was good with Grace. There really wasn’t a reason for him not to commit. Except for the one staring him in the face from across the Camaro, and Danny hadn’t thought about that before. It had been two years since Danny had realized that he was in love with Steve, and almost six since he’d fallen in the first place, but he’d spent so much effort trying to ignore the feelings that he hadn’t considered that they might be holding him back from other relationships. He had been doing so well with Melissa (he did care deeply for her) but this conversation was dragging his feelings for Steve front and center in his mind. And God, he really didn’t want to talk about this _with Steve_.

“Can we talk about something else? Please?” Danny begged.

“What, is this embarrassing you?” Steve teased.

“You’re one to talk, you got bested by a shoe.” Danny snapped. Steve pouted, and considering he was a grown man, his pout could rival even Grace’s.

“It was a really big shoe.” Steve mumbled as he started the car. Danny didn’t reply, too busy trying to keep his breathing under control. His heart didn’t stop pounding until Steve got out of the car and Danny was on his way home.

When Danny finally crawled back into bed, he kissed Melissa’s cheek, curling up behind her and throwing an arm around her shoulders. He tried to forget about his and Steve’s conversation and shut down his racing mind, telling himself that he absolutely, one hundred percent did not wish she was anyone else. Especially not Steve.

**-6.15-**

This couldn’t be happening. Matty was gone, long gone, and Danny didn’t understand why the FBI suddenly had to question his mother of all people. He immediately called Steve, hoping he would have some insight as to why the feds were still on their case, but Steve didn’t have any idea either. Danny started to panic.

“Stop. You want me to come down there? I’ll come down there, all right?” Steve offered.

“No, that’s very nice of you, but you got your hands full.” Danny declined.

“Hey, you know what? You could use those - those cruise tickets and flee the island. Huh?”

“That’s very funny, Steve. I actually would do that, except for the fact that I didn’t get the cruise tickets. Hey, well, listen, I - I gotta go. Before my mom ends up on America’s Most Wanted.”

“Okay, listen, you need me, I’m here, all right?” Steve told him.

“Thank you very much.” Danny hung up the phone as his mom wandered into the room.

“Who was that?” She asked.

“Steve. He doesn’t know why the FBI wants to talk to you either. He offered to come with.” Danny added as an afterthought. Ma tilted her head.

“He’s a sweet boy. He loves you, Danny.” Danny looked away.

“I know. I - I love him, too.” Danny was horrified to hear his voice crack. He’d never told anyone else that. Somehow, saying it out loud made it very real. His chest was suddenly very tight, and he felt like a little kid confessing his first crush.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Ma wrapped her arms around him and Danny returned the hug, trembling and clinging to her like his life depended on it. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“C’mon, Ma! No, I don’t wanna talk about it!” Danny knew he was whining but he didn’t care.

“You shouldn’t keep these things bottled up. You’ll get an ulcer.” Ma scolded.

“Honestly, I’m okay with that if it gets me out of having this conversation.” Danny informed her. Pretending to be his own dad and talking about his crush with his mother was too much for one day. “In fact, I can feel one forming right this second, so, uh, we’d better stop before it gets any worse.” Ma rolled her eyes.

“Don’t be fresh with me, Daniel! I’m trying to help.”

“I know, Ma, sorry. I’m just, uh, used to it, okay? It’s fine. I’m fine. We should be focusing on this - this _investigation_ , not me.”

“Okay, sweetheart. If that’s what you want. But I’m here if you need me.” She said softly. Danny nodded.

“I know, Mama. Thank you.” Ma leaned down and kissed his forehead. “We should probably get going.” Danny muttered.

“All right. You know, if Steve’s done with his case by tonight we should invite him for dinner.” Danny barely refrained from slamming his head into the table. He loved his mom, but he should never have opened his mouth.

**-6.17-**

Danny looked around and saw Steve standing alone on the beach, his hands in his pockets as he stared out at the ocean. Bracing himself, Danny walked over to him.

“Hey.” Steve glanced at him, eyes a little lost, but Danny was pleased to see that the devastation he had expected was nowhere to be found.

“Hey.”

“Catherine’s safe.” He said, pumping his fist with an enthusiasm that wasn’t all there. Steve tilted his head as he considered it.

“Well, I mean, she’s on a covert op in the Ukraine. I don’t know how safe she is.”

“Well, you can contact her, right?” Danny asked.

“Nope, not while she’s in the field.”

“You gonna be angry ‘cause she lied to you again or what?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m angry.” He didn’t seem angry to Danny. He seemed calm, almost relaxed about the whole thing. Steve looked away and started talking again “You know something, Danny, if I’m honest with myself, I also understand why she did it. I mean, given the circumstances, I probably would have done the same thing.” Danny had a vivid recollection of a letter left on his desk with a hasty explanation before Steve had disappeared for almost two weeks without a word.

“Yeah, see, ‘cause I think that maybe she just didn’t want you worrying about her.” Danny pointed out.

“Little hard not to now.”

“I think that she is gonna be fine. She’s gonna be fine. She’s a very tough lady. She can handle herself. Everything’ll be okay.” Danny reassured him. Steve’s expression was a little hard to read as he squinted against the bright sun, but he seemed all right as he nodded.

“Thanks, Danny.” He said quietly. Danny didn’t feel the need to reply as they stood there, side by side, watching the waves roll in.

**-6.25-**

Somehow, Danny is back in that horrid little plane. They’re losing altitude quickly and Steve is lolling in his seat with a terrified expression, clutching at his stomach. His skin is white with an unnatural ashen pallor as he murmurs Danny’s name, that he’s dying. Danny slides a hand gently across Steve’s belly, feeling the tackiness of the blood soaking his shirt, desperately trying to hold Steve together for one more minute. They’re in the back of the ambulance, and as Danny watches, the paramedics shake their heads and walk away, leaving Steve on the stretcher. Danny looks down at him, still and pale and covered in blood and wished the plane had just fallen into the water so he didn’t have to deal with this. It couldn’t end like this, not after everything, Steve get up, open your eyes no no no no-

“ _No_ …” Danny jerked awake, sweating and disoriented. His heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was knocking against his broken rib with each beat. He stared up at the ceiling, trying to slow his breathing, but the air kept catching in his throat. Danny wasn’t sure how long he laid there, trying to get himself back under control, when a soft voice emitted from the other side of the curtain.

“Danny? You awake?” He closed his eyes as Steve’s voice washed over him. _He’s not dead_ , he reminded himself. _He’s not dead_.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m - I’m awake.”

“What’s wrong? Are you in pain?” Danny could hear the concern in Steve’s voice, could hear him shuffling around in his bed like he was going to try to get up.

“No, I… it was just, uh, just a bad dream.” He reassured him quickly.

“Oh.” Steve was quiet for a moment. “Do you… wanna talk about it?” He finally asked.

“Nope.” Danny said shortly, suddenly remembering that he was actually kind of mad at Steve for being such a jerk about this whole thing.

“Oh. Uh. Okay.” Steve fell silent again. Danny tried to concentrate on hearing his soft breathing over the constant beeping of the monitors that filled their room.

“Why are you awake, Steve?” Danny eventually asked. Steve didn’t answer for a minute.

“…Hurts.” He finally mumbled. Danny’s heart clenched, instantly concerned for his friend despite his anger.

“You want me to call someone, babe? You got the morphine drip right there.”

“Don’t like how it makes me feel. It makes my head all fuzzy.” Steve whined. Danny immediately lost all sympathy for him.

“Yeah, that’s how you know it’s working.” He snapped, furious that Steve was making this more difficult than it had to be. Steve didn’t reply and Danny went back to silently fuming. Putting them in the same room really had been a mistake. They argued at the best of times, and while it was mostly just sniping, being cooped up and immobile had obviously made Steve more irritable than usual. Glaring up at the ceiling, Danny privately admitted that the pain was making him crankier, too.

“Danny?” The soft question came after about ten minutes of silence. Danny closed his eyes and inhaled deeply through his nose.

“What.”

“What I said earlier, about hating you… I - I don’t hate you.”

“Okay.” Danny said. He didn’t want to have this conversation now, not while he was still so angry. There was a pained grunt and the curtain between them suddenly swished open. Danny watched as Steve collapsed back onto the bed, breathing heavily. He turned his head to look at Danny, a childish pout on his lips.

“I didn’t mean it, Danny. I was just being a jerk.”

“Yeah, you were. That was a really shitty thing to say, Steven. Why would you say that, huh? That my own kid’s gonna grow up to hate me. Don’t you think… don’t you think I worry about that enough already? That he’ll hate me for not always being there? I mean, Jesus, Steve, I get that you’re hurting, that you’re upset or - or whatever passes for upset in your messed up emotional world, but you can’t just say things like that to people!” Steve blinked at him slowly and Danny felt all the energy drain out of him. He was exhausted. He didn’t want to talk about this now.

“Danny, I-”

“Just go to sleep, Steve. Apology, or whatever that was, accepted. We’ll talk about it later.” He closed his eyes, wishing he could shut the curtain again, but he couldn’t force himself to move. This was all too much. He didn’t understand why Steve was acting like this. The lack of sympathy, the ingratitude, the downright cruelty… Danny still loved Steve, but in that moment he wasn’t very fond of him.

**-7.01-**

The day had already held far too much excitement for someone who had only been released from the hospital the day before. Seeing Steve sitting on a fold-out stretcher with his entire chest bandaged, bleeding from his barely healed incision was the last straw.

“Hey. How’s the girl?” Steve asked, accepting the clean shirt Danny handed him.

“Locked in a room for five days. How do you think she is? Listen, you should go to the hospital and get that looked at properly, okay?” Danny urged.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re fine? That’s good, I’m gonna put that on your tombstone.” Danny angrily framed an imaginary tombstone with his hands. “‘He said he was fine. He was wrong’. What’s the matter with you?”

“Do me a favor, give us a second?” Steve asked the paramedic that had tended to him.

“What’s the matter with you?” Danny repeated as the man walked away. Steve looked at him warily, mouth tight with anger and probably pain, a deep frown on his face before he glanced away and took a deep breath.

“I love you.” Steve said abruptly, the frown still on his face as he looked back at Danny. Danny’s heart stuttered even as he nodded, considering the sudden declaration.

“I love you, too.” He replied, flattered, but thoroughly confused as he firmly stamped down on the small swell of hope in his chest.

“Okay, then, give me a break. Would you give me a break?” Steve pleaded.

“You want a break?” Danny asked incredulously. “All right, I’ll step aside, watch while you get yourself killed. Is that what you want?”

“Not trying to get myself killed.” Steve denied.

“No?”

“No.”

“Are you sure? Because it’s a relief. Because it seems like, for the last five, six years, that’s - that’s been the goal.” Danny told him.

“Again, I think you’re being a little, uh, overdramatic.” Steve said. Danny felt his temper rise again.

“Okay. You know what?” Danny clapped Steve on the shoulder as insincerely as he could. “Forget about it. Good luck. Good luck!” He snapped as he walked away.

“Hey, hey, wait. Wait. Wait.” Steve called after him.

“Wait for what? What do you want?”

“Danny…”

“What?” Danny demanded, whirling around and planting his hands on his hips. Steve briefly pressed his hand to his chest as he avoided Danny’s gaze, but when he looked back at him, his expression was genuine.

“Thank you.” He said. And there it was, finally. Danny accepted it with a nod.

“You’re welcome.” He looked over his shoulder as the rest of the team approached them.

“All right, building’s secure. We’re going in.” Kono announced as she pulled her gloves on.

“All right, where’s my vest?” Steve asked, hopping off the stretcher. Danny couldn’t believe his ears

“What do you mean where’s your vest? Where you going?” He demanded.

“Where am I going? I’m going across the street for a cappuccino, where am I going? Where do you think?”

“What about the talk we just had?” Danny asked.

“It was a very nice talk, and I meant everything I said. I didn’t say I was gonna stand down.” Steve replied, buckling his vest.

“You’re an idiot. I’m done.” Danny said and turned to leave again.

“Wait, wait, wait. Wait a second. Before you strap up, listen.” Lou chimed in. “We got more more than enough guys in here.”

“These guys are right.” Chin agreed, trying to help diffuse the situation.

“You know what? Save your breath, ‘cause he’s determined to have my noble sacrifice be in vain. Don’t give me that look.” Danny added as Steve rolled his eyes and stalked past the group. “That’s good. You know what? If you need anybody else’s organs, talk to Chin, ‘cause I’m done.” Chin raised an eyebrow at him, but Danny ignored it in favor of following Steve.

It seemed like all of HPD and SWAT had been called in to search the hotel, so Danny didn’t understand why their team had ended up chasing down the suspect again. They cornered Shaw on the roof and the idiot took a flying leap off the building, obviously aiming for the next one over. Danny felt a bolt of pure terror go through him when Steve charged towards the edge after him.

“Steve! Don’t do it!” He yelled, hoping against hope that this would be the one time Steve decided to listen to him. Steve stopped short, watching Shaw’s path through the air from the safety of the roof, and Danny almost collapsed when he heard Shaw scream. He pulled up beside Steve and looked over the edge, wincing at the broken body below them. If Steve had jumped… Jesus, he didn’t even want to think about seeing Steve in Shaw’s place. The others jogged over to them and leaned over the edge to look.

“Didn’t see that coming.” Lou remarked flatly. Steve leaned forward onto his arms, dropping his head down for a moment before he looked over at Danny, gratitude in his eyes. Danny simply raised his eyebrows, unable to find it in his heart to say ‘I told you so’ as they turned away from the gruesome scene.

When Kono suggested beers, Danny was completely willing to go along with them, provided that he could keep an eye on Steve to make absolutely sure he didn’t drink, but Steve announced that he was just going to go home, maybe take a few days off. Danny smiled at him approvingly and Steve smiled back. They were going to be okay, Danny thought.

The phone call he got from Steve several hours later was completely unexpected. He answered the phone with a tight knot of anxiety in his stomach.

“Steve? Everything okay?”

“Danny… Danny, I…”

“Steve, are you all right? Do you need me to call someone?” Danny asked. His mind was racing as he consider the thousand different consequences of Steve’s overexertion that day.

“No, no, I just, uh. I just found one of those - those chess pieces on my table.” Steve said, the tremor in his voice barely discernible.

“You _what_?”

“I heard a noise in the kitchen and it was there when I checked. I - I already swept the place, there’s nobody here…” Danny pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Go get your things, uh, just grab whatever you need for the night and come over. If you’re not here in half an hour, I’m going to assume you have been kidnapped and I’m calling it in.” He ordered, trying to stay calm. Steve immediately started protesting.

“What? No, don’t be ridiculous, I don’t need to stay at your place, I’m fine-”

“If he got in once, he can get in again. You live alone, you’re still recovering from major surgery - no, don’t interrupt me, I’m not done - you’re still recovering, and it would… it would make me feel better, okay? I don’t need to lose any more sleep over you, Steve.”

“Danny…”

“Please.”

“I… okay. Okay, I’ll be there. Thirty minutes.” The call disconnected and Danny proceeded to fret until he heard Steve’s truck pull up out front. He threw the door open to let him in, practically pulling Steve over the threshold and slamming the door shut behind him. He turned to Steve, who silently held out the small ivory piece. Danny examined it for a moment before passing it back.

“Are you all right?” He asked again. Steve nodded, clutching the pawn and rubbing at his chest slightly. He didn’t seem to realize he was doing it. Danny narrowed his eyes. “Let me check your bandages.” He said. Steve looked at him, startled.

“Huh? No, c’mon, they’re fine.”

“Steve, sit down and let me check them.”

“Bossy.” Steve muttered, but he must have sensed how serious Danny was being because he walked over to the couch as instructed and pulled off his shirt as he sat down.

Danny followed him, sitting next to Steve so he could start unraveling the bandage that was wrapped around his chest. He checked that none of the edges were coming up on the adhesive pad and that the wound hadn’t started bleeding again. Finally satisfied that Steve was all right, Danny gently rewound the dressing as Steve watched him with half-lidded eyes and an unreadable expression. Danny carefully smoothed the bandage back into place, lingering over the soft fabric longer than necessary.

He was reluctant to take his hands off Steve, strangely afraid that if he stopped touching him, Steve would somehow disappear. Suddenly desperate for closer contact to reassure himself, Danny laid a hand on Steve’s face and pulled him close, pressing a soft kiss to Steve’s cheekbone.

“You scared me today.” He said quietly. Steve turned towards him, and for just a second, Danny thought Steve was going to kiss him. Instead, he rested his forehead against Danny’s and didn’t say anything. Danny scratched lightly at Steve’s sideburn with his index finger. Steve hummed and tilted his head into the touch, the tips of their noses bumping together. Danny swallowed hard. “I’m gonna keep on your ass about the transplant, y’know.” He added, hoping Steve didn’t hear the catch in his voice.

“I know. I’m gonna keep fighting you about it.” Steve replied, the smile evident in his tone. Danny laughed and Steve pulled his head back to smile at him.

“Okay, well, as long as we’re on the same page about it.” Danny said.

“Yeah. And I’m - I’m sorry about the whole driving thing. I mean, I’m not gonna stop, but…” Steve trailed off and looked at the floor. Danny bit at his upper lip as he remembered the borderline hateful glare Steve had given him when he’d pulled the Camaro to the side of the road during their argument.

“Yeah, well, you’re an adult, mostly. You can make your own ill-advised decisions. I just… worry about you.” Danny told him. Steve nodded, suddenly stifling a yawn. The day had obviously caught up with him. Danny stood and went to grab the small tote bag Steve had brought with him. “Come on, I’ll get you set up in the guest room.” He said. Steve obediently followed Danny down the hall, yawning the entire way.

**-7.04-**

It took all of Danny’s willpower not to throw his phone across the room after he ended the call with Chin. He was going to kill Steve. Dialing his number, Danny sat fuming quietly until Steve picked up.

“McGarrett.”

“Yeah, it’s me.” Danny said shortly.

“Hey, Danny, what’s up?” Steve sounded pleased to hear from him, relaxed and completely unconcerned. Considering what Chin had just told him about Steve’s day, Danny personally thought that Steve should be a little more worried about the tirade he had to know was coming.

“What’s up with me? No, no, my friend, what’s up with _you_? I just had a very interesting conversation with Chin. In fact, it was downright enlightening.” There was a sharp sigh through the line.

“Okay, before you overreact-”

“Before I over- WHAT THE HELL’S THE MATTER WITH YOU, HUH? Jesus Christ, Steven, you can’t even wait a full two months after nearly dying before trying to get killed again or what? You got a death wish? Is that it? I joke about it, but I’m seriously starting to wonder if you’re trying to get yourself killed! You just had major surgery! You almost died! Most people would take that as a sign to - to slow down or something, but not you! Not Steve McGarrett, Navy SEAL extraordinaire!” Danny paused, realizing that Steve wasn’t arguing with him, or even responding at all. “Steve? Steve? Answer me, damn it!” There was a burst of static through the speaker.

“Oh, sorry. I just put the phone down until the yelling stopped.” Steve said. Danny closed his eyes, digging deep for a well of patience that had long since run dry.

“You’re an idiot. I’m gonna kill you myself the second I land.” He calmly informed Steve.

“Well, I’ll make sure to have Lou pick you up from the airport then.” Steve replied. “I’m fine, Danny, really.” He added after a moment.

“You were stabbed and almost drowned, you are not _fine_!” Danny started again, but Steve cut him off.

“You know what, I’m going to hang up now.”

“Don’t you dare!”

“Nope, sorry, gotta go. Love you, miss you, see you in a few. Bye, Danno.” The dial tone sounded loud in his ear. Danny dropped his phone, looked up at the ceiling, and dragged a hand down his face. God, the man was infuriating, but…

“Love you too, Steve.” He whispered to himself.

**-7.07-**

_“Danny, listen, something… something came up. I’m gonna have to leave town for a bit. Not sure how long, but, uh, it shouldn’t be more than a couple of days. I - I just wanted to let you know. Um, hope your dad’s doing okay, I’ll see you when you get back.”_

Danny frowned at his phone as the message ended. Steve had sounded more than a little shaken, and that never meant anything good. Checking the time, he determined that it was an acceptable hour to call someone in Hawaii and picked up his phone again.

“Hey, Kono, it’s Danny.”

“Danny! How’s your dad doing?”

“Oh, he’s fine, thanks for asking. It was just a, uh, routine operation, it went well.”

“Glad to hear it.”

“Thanks, Kono.” He sighed. “Listen, I’m calling to ask a favor. I’m sorry to bother you with this, but I, uh… I just got a message from Steve. He said he had to go take care of something, that he was leaving town for a few days.” Danny explained.

“Oh? Did he say what for?” Kono asked.

“No, no he did not. I, uh, I think I can safely say that I know the man well enough by now to assume that it’s probably something dangerous or stupid. Or both. Probably both.” Danny picked at a piece of lint on the couch. “Just… is there any way you could, you know, look into it? See if you can find out what he’s up to?”

“Of course. I’ll let you know if we find anything, okay?”

“Thanks, Kono, you’re a lifesaver.”

“I know.” Kono laughed, and then paused for a moment. “At least he called this time.” She added kindly.

“Yeah.” Danny said, a bitter taste in his mouth. “At least he called.”

He spent the next few hours with his stomach in knots. When Kono texted him back, the news didn’t help dissipate his anxiety. Apparently, Steve had gone back to Morocco to rescue his mother from an op gone bad. With Catherine, of all people. Danny continued to fret until Kono finally called and told him that everything was all right; Doris was safe, Catherine had gone with her, and Steve had made it home unharmed. Danny thanked her, asked her to thank the rest of the team, and immediately went to call Steve. At the last second, Danny decided to indulge himself and Skype Steve instead, wanting to see his face to make sure he really was okay.

Steve answered after a minute and Danny instantly noticed the exhaustion in his eyes and the stress lines around his mouth. He could also clearly see that Steve was not at home.

“Where are you?” He demanded.

“I’m at the office, calm down.” Steve settled back into his chair and raised his phone so Danny could see that he was, in fact, in his office. Danny felt a little embarrassed by his overreaction, but with Steve’s history, it wasn’t entirely uncalled for.

“Oh. What are you doing there?” Steve gave him a weak smile.

“Nothing. Just some paperwork. I - I couldn’t sleep.” He explained. Danny nodded thoughtfully.

“How’s your mom?” He asked. Steve tilted his head side to side.

“Fine. Still no plans to settle down anytime soon. Not that I was expecting it.” Danny winced at his harsh tone.

“I’m sorry, Steve.” Steve shrugged and Danny hesitated, wondering if he should bring up the other wayward woman that had dropped back into Steve’s life. He finally decided to just bite the bullet. “And, uh, Catherine? How are we feeling about that?” Steve closed his eyes and gave a heavy sigh, looking completely drained.

“Yeah, that was…. yeah.” He opened his eyes and turned his head to the side, staring off into the distance. Danny stayed quiet, waiting to see if Steve would continue on his own. “She found out I was going to propose. Lynn accidentally told her.”

“Christ. How does that just accidentally come up?” Danny wondered. Steve huffed out a small laugh.

“I don’t know, I didn’t ask. Lynn was real understanding about the whole thing, I didn’t want to push it.” Steve glanced back at the screen before quickly looking away again. “She would have said yes. I - I asked.” Danny inhaled sharply. He didn’t even need to ask what Steve was referring to. He bit at the inside of his lip, thinking that Steve really hadn’t needed another reason to wonder where his relationship with Catherine had gone wrong.

“Oh.” Danny didn’t trust himself to say anything else. He wasn’t sure he could refrain from saying something about Cath that wouldn’t piss Steve off, but Steve didn’t seem to notice his silence as he continued talking

“You know, I’m… I’m glad I didn’t ask her to marry me. She was already working for the CIA when she came back to Hawaii last year. She already knew she was leaving. If I had asked and she’d said yes… well, she would’ve left anyways, eventually.” Steve didn’t say anything about how much more heartbroken he would have been if that had happened, but Danny could read between the lines.

“Steve…” Danny’s heart was breaking, both for and because of Steve. He thought back to how happy Steve had seemed when Cath was around. He thought about how much he loved Steve and how badly he wanted him to be happy, how much Steve deserved it, even if Danny wasn’t part of that equation. Danny suddenly wished that there wasn’t a phone screen and five thousand miles between them, and at the same time he was desperately thankful for it. If he had been standing next to Steve, there was no way he would have been able to see that miserable look on his face and resist wrapping Steve up in a hug.

“It’s okay, Danny. She was looking for something. I never would have been enough for her.” Steve said, and Danny reoriented his thoughts back towards the current conversation.

“Hey, you’re enough.” Danny insisted. “You’re more than enough, you’re, you’re - sometimes you’re too much.” Steve laughed and turned his face back towards the screen, a small smile on his lips.

“Thanks, man.” He said quietly. Danny nodded at him and Steve suddenly yawned widely. “God, sorry, guess I’m more tired than I thought.” Danny grinned at him.

“Go home, go to sleep, you maniac. Rest up for your next big mission.” He teased. Steve shook his head and gave him another tiny smile.

“Bye, Danny. Thanks for calling.”

“Anytime.” Danny promised him. “Anytime.”

**-7.08-**

Danny munched contentedly on his sandwich as he watched his baby dance with her boyfriend. Will was a great kid, honestly, but Danny was kind of required to dislike him just on principle. Considering what a stand up guy his dad was, and how many times Will had saved his ass that night, Danny was almost willing to forego the whole Overprotective Asshole Father of the Girlfriend routine. Almost… he was still going to keep a _very_ close eye on things. 

“I bet we never hear the end of this from the team.” Lou said suddenly.

“God, don’t remind me.” Danny groaned. “Steve’s gonna be insufferable.”

“Yeah, just promise me you won’t set your attack dog on my son.” Lou said, laughing. Danny swallowed wrong and choked on the bite of sandwich he had just taken, coughing hard.

“My _what_?” He finally managed. “Steve’s not my - my _attack dog_.”

“Oh, sure, whatever you say.” Lou said, even as he rolled his eyes. “But that man’s almost as protective of Grace as you are.”

“Yeah, listen, if Steve was a dog, he’d be, uh, much easier to handle. Probably listen to me a hell of a lot better, too. I agree that he’s protective of Grace, but you all are! She gained about ten new aunts and uncles just by moving to Hawaii.”

“Not like McGarrett.” Lou insisted. “He’d do just about anything for that daughter of yours. Your son, too. Your entire family’s got that man watching out for them, and you.”

“Okay, again, we’re all looking out for each other. Ohana, right? That’s what everyone keeps repeating around here.” Danny shot back.

“Not like McGarrett.” Lou repeated, giving Danny a long look. Danny squirmed uncomfortably, wondering if he had turned as transparent as he suddenly felt. He looked back towards Grace and Will, watching as they danced in the little diner. Lou didn’t say anything else, but Danny could see the glances he kept shooting him out of the corner of his eye. Talking about their kids dating was more than enough personal discussion for one night; no way was Danny bringing Steve into it, too.

**-7.10-**

As the credits began to roll on their movie, Bridget turned to look at him, a dangerous glint in her eyes.

“So, what about Steve?” She asked, her tone pure innocence.

“Huh? What do you mean, ‘what about Steve’?” Danny asked, thoroughly confused. Bridget snorted.

“You come in here all high and mighty, preaching about the dangers of romances with coworkers when you’ve practically got one going on yourself!” She said. Danny gaped at her.

“I - that’s not - I mean, we’re not - it’s not the same!” He stammered defensively. Bridget grinned wickedly.

“But there _is_ something there?” She pressed. Danny nodded reluctantly and Bridget punched the air in triumph. “So when Mom said he was a catch…?”

“Yeah, yeah, she knows.” Danny buried his face in his hands, thinking of Kono’s knowing smirk when she had walking in on him with his hand on Steve’s back in the office earlier. “I’m pretty sure half our coworkers know, too.” He groaned. God, it had felt nice though, Steve’s solid warmth under his hand… Danny was actually grateful for Kono’s interruption; if she hadn’t come in when she did, he might have done something stupid, like try to lean in and kiss Steve.

“Danny’s got a cru-ush!” Bridget teased in a singsong voice, completely oblivious to Danny’s distress.

“Bridget, knock it off.” He warned.

“Oh, come on, you’ve got to see how he looks at you. I was with you two for ten seconds and I saw it! He looks at you like-”

“He doesn’t look at me like anything.” Danny cut in firmly. “He’s straight. He was just saying how cute you were this morning.” Bridget laughed, still unaware of his discomfort.

“Like that’s supposed to convince me? All that tells me is that he likes short blondes! We could practically be twins, Danny!”

“I said knock it off!” Danny barked. Bridget looked shocked, her eyes wide and a little hurt as she stared at Danny. “Sorry.” He muttered.

“…Is it more than a crush?” She asked tentatively. Danny bit his upper lip and didn’t reply. “Do you… love him?” Bridget continued, never one to leave well enough alone. Danny felt something in him break.

“He’s infuriating, he drives me crazy.” He burst out. “He takes over every aspect of my life, he drives my car more than I do. He drove me _here,_ for god’s sake! He’s stubborn, he’s argumentative, he’s gonna give me a heart attack ‘cause of how careless he is with his own safety, and-”

“And you love him.” Bridget interrupted. Danny stared at her, unable to deny it. He swallowed hard.

“And I love him.” He choked out. “God knows why, but he… I need him.”

“Tell me about him.”

“He’s sweet. He cares so much, he just wants to help everyone. One time this kid stole his car, and instead of sending him to jail, Steve practically adopted him. He’s brave, he’s smart, he makes me laugh when he’s not being annoying. He… I don’t know, I just like spending time with him. It’s - it’s easy. I mean, we argue a lot, but it’s mostly just ribbing, you know? I yell at him about the same stuff, he yells at me… it’s like a stupid game or something.” Danny paused as he realized he was starting to get a little long-winded in his adoration of Steve. “We just, y’know, fit.” He finally summarized, hating how sappy it sounded.

“I’m sorry, Danny.” Bridget said. She nudged him with her elbow. “But I really think… I mean, there’s really no chance he feels the same?”

Danny quietly recalled the desolate look on Steve’s face as he had admitted that he knew what it was like to start seeing a coworker in a different light. Then he remembered Steve’s reaction in the office. It had stung, the way Steve had twisted his face in denial when Kono had suggested that she could come back, like the thought of them needing time alone was so ridiculous that he couldn’t even begin to consider it.

“No. There’s really not.” He finally said. He didn’t want to talk about this anymore. It hurt enough going through it on a daily basis, but talking about it, having it out there in the open to dissect hurt even more. “Hey, I’m really sorry about Ted.” He said, desperate to change the topic. He did feel terrible for what his sister was going through. Bridget squinted at him, catching onto his ploy immediately, but she allowed it.

“Thanks, Danny. I’m sorry too, what I said earlier about you walking away from your kids. I know that’s not what happened. You’re a great dad.”

“I’m trying.” Danny sighed. He gently kicked at Bridget’s foot with his own. “Hey. You’re not gonna disappear, you know. I’ll be here for you.” Bridget smiled brightly at him.

“I know.” She turned off the TV and tucked her legs up underneath herself, hugging a pillow to her chest. “Now, tell me more about Steve. I wanna know everything!”

Danny groaned. He should have known he wouldn’t be able to distract his sister so easily. He made himself more comfortable against the pillows and started talking. To his surprise, the longer he talked, the better he felt. It did hurt at first, laying his heart out for examination, but after a while, he realized it was kind of nice to finally talk to someone about the secret he had kept for seven years.

**-7.13-**

“Book ‘im, Danno.”

“Absolutely.” A gentle warmth spread through Danny’s chest even as he cuffed Hadley. Steve hadn’t used that obnoxiously endearing catchphrase in years. Danny could barely even remember the last time Steve had called him ‘Danno’.

The warm feeling stayed with him throughout the entire day, flaring up again as he sat pressed close to Steve at Max’s farewell party, their arms brushing together as they listened to Max’s speech. His mood only continued to improve when Max confessed that he thought of Danny as a role model. When Max’s speech came to an end, everyone started to move, talking and dancing together in the little picnic area. As the evening wore on, Danny noticed Steve looking in his direction more and more frequently, until Steve finally caught his eye and grinned widely at him.

“Danny!” Steve called, holding out a hand. “Dance with me!” Danny approached him cautiously, and Steve instantly grabbed his shoulders and pulled him close.

“You, my friend, are extremely inebriated.” Danny told him, even as he placed his hands on Steve’s trim waist.

“Yup.” Steve agreed happily. “C’mon, dance with me, Danno.” He wrapped his arms around Danny’s back and leaned down to rest his chin on Danny’s shoulder, swaying slowly in complete disregard to the tempo of the music.

“Thought you said I didn’t have to dance with you tonight.” Danny said, trying to look over Steve’s shoulder to see if anyone was watching them.

“Changed my mind.” Steve mumbled.

“You’re a very embarrassing drunk.” Danny whispered. “I hope you know that.” Steve rubbed their cheeks together and Danny clutched at him helplessly. “I also hope you know that, uh, pictures of this are going to turn up somewhere later as - as blackmail.”

“Don’t care.” Steve said, suddenly standing up straight, the motion bringing his hips a lot closer to Danny. “Like dancing with you.” Danny’s throat closed.

“Okay, c’mon, that’s enough.” He ordered, pushing Steve back. Steve obviously had no idea what he was doing; he must have been drunker than Danny had originally thought, and Danny knew that Steve was an affectionate drunk, whether he was in a good mood or not. Danny pushed him again and Steve gave him a wounded look, a small pout on his lips. “I gotta - I gotta take you home.” Danny decided.

“O…kay.” Steve blinked at him slowly and gave him a lopsided smile. Danny led Steve back over to the tables and sat him down on the bench, briefly cupping his cheek.

“Stay put, I just gotta go say bye to Max.” Steve nodded agreeably, but Danny could feel his eyes on him the entire time he was saying his farewells. Danny finally managed to make his excuses, arrange for Grace to be watched, and break away from the crowd, making his way back to Steve and dragging him to his car. Steve smiled up at him, loose-limbed and goofy as Danny poured him into the passenger seat of the Camaro. “Seat belt.” Danny reminded him, walking to the driver’s seat as Steve struggled with the clip.

The ride to Steve’s house was quiet. Danny tried to ignore the way Steve was staring at him from the other side of the car, his head leaned back against the headrest as he watched Danny with a small smile curving his lips the entire drive to his house. When Danny pulled into the driveway, Steve lifted his head, a small frown creasing his brow. He looked out the window at his house for a moment before turning back to Danny with something like disappointment in his eyes.

“Thought you were taking me home.” He murmured. Danny frowned at Steve’s confusion, wondering if he should call someone to stay the night with Steve. He would have stayed himself, but Grace and Charlie were still with him that night.

“This _is_ your home, Steve.” Steve nodded slowly and Danny reached over to pat him on the arm. “Go on, get inside. Take some Advil, sleep it off. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Steve touched his hand lightly and opened the door, stumbling as he got out.

“Bye, Danny.”

“Bye, Steve.” Danny watched until he was sure Steve was safely inside the house before pulling away. He still had to go pick up his kids, and maybe talk to Kono about the pictures he just _knew_ she had taken.

**-7.16-**

Danny hadn’t been kidding when he’d told Steve that having him around would throw him off. His panic over Steve being there had sent him spiraling, and he’d spent most of the day obsessing over a stupid pair of glasses, trying to avoid being with both Steve and Melissa at the same time. And when Steve ‘Laser Eyes’ McGarrett had started burning a hole in the side of his face at dinner and Danny had started coughing about chicken salad, he was sure the entire table could tell he had lost his mind completely.

The thing was, what Steve had said that morning hurt. Danny knew he had intimacy issues. There really wasn’t a way to get through a divorce without developing them. He also knew that Steve had no idea how close he’d come to hitting the mark when he’d made the comment about Danny hiding his true self from Melissa. But Danny had already known that the day was ruined when he’d turned to see Steve standing on the balcony next to his in that pale blue button-down shirt.

It was only after their escape from the disastrous dinner, when they’d already gotten ready for bed, that Melissa decided to bring up what had happened.

“So how was your day with Steve?” She asked, her tone far too casual to mean anything other than trouble.

“Again, I’m sorry about that. I just kinda freaked out, hanging out in a group all together for the first time, but I love you, and I’ll make it up-”

“Danny, I think we should talk.” Danny’s stomach dropped. Melissa’s face was serious. She didn’t look angry or upset, but she looked like she meant business. Danny swallowed nervously.

“About what?”

“About… about Steve.” She said gently. Danny bit his upper lip.

“I don’t see why. He already ruined the day, why does he have to ruin tonight, too?” He tried. Melissa gave him a sharp look.

“It wasn’t really Steve that ruined today, Danny. Although I’m sure Lynn is having a chat with him about abandoning her during yoga to go find you.”

“Okay, so it was me.” Danny admitted. “But like I said, I’ll make it up to you. We can - we can go away again, just you and me, another weekend.” He offered.

“Because you get so much time off work.” Melissa snapped, but she immediately looked apologetic and sighed. “Sorry, I’m not really mad at you. I just think we need to be honest with each other.”

“Honest?” Danny asked, a bad taste coating his tongue.

“About where this relationship is going.” Melissa clarified. “I mean, it’s been almost three years. You didn’t even tell me you loved me until, like, six months ago. It doesn’t really seem like this is… going anywhere.”

“So we’re, uh, taking it slow. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Danny said. “And, sorry, but I really don’t see what this, uh, what this has to do with Steve.”

“Come on, Danny. You spent almost the entire day with him instead of me. I get that this was a couple’s trip, but that really only works if the couples hang out _together_ at some point.”

“We had dinner together.” Danny pointed out.

“Barely.”

“Okay, well, we can try dinner again some - some other time, but I still don’t see what this conversation has to do with Steve!” Danny burst out.

“Don’t you? What’s going on with you two? I mean, I kind of already know, but I’d like to hear it from you. I saw how you were at dinner.” Melissa said.

Danny silently cursed Steve. The man picked the worst times to be physically affectionate, and wrapping his arm around Danny during a dinner with both their girlfriends present had to be in the top ten. Danny decided not to tell Melissa that, really, the arm around his shoulders hadn’t been that bad. He figured that if she thought that was a big deal, she would absolutely lose her mind if she found out what Danny had been thinking when Steve had pulled him away from that brat on the beach. Steve’s skin had been cool and sticky from the salt water and Danny had very much wanted to just turn into the touch and hold him. He gave himself a hard mental shake.

“There’s nothing going on, Mel.” He denied.

“Isn’t there?” She asked softly. “I mean, I know you’re not cheating or anything, but it’s a little ridiculous how big a role he has in your life.”

“He’s my partner.”

“He’s more than that.” Melissa insisted.

“He’s not. He doesn’t even-” Danny cut himself off, stricken at the thought that he’d just given himself away. Apparently, Melissa knew more than she was letting on, though, because she just looked at him sympathetically, if a little sadly. Danny’s heart twisted and once again, he had the thought that none of this was fair to Melissa. But three years was a long time for a relationship to be at a standstill. “I do love you.” He started, his stomach churning with nerves.

“You just love him more.” Melissa guessed. Danny shook his head.

“For longer, maybe. It’s - it’s different, I can’t…” With a jolt of horror, Danny realized his eyes were wet. He blinked hard, resisting the urge to wipe at them.

“Danny, don’t, it’s okay.” Melissa reassured him. “I mean, it’s not exactly _okay_ , but please don’t cry.”

“I do love you.” Danny repeated, giving up and wiping his eyes with the heels of his hands.

“I know you do. That’s kind of why I just want to say ‘forget it’ and keep doing what we’ve been doing. But it’s not fair to me if you can’t completely commit to this relationship.” Melissa said.

“I know.” Danny agreed miserably. He let out a stuffy laugh. “I can’t believe we’re… breaking up on Valentine’s Day.” Melissa glanced over at the clock on the bedside table, and Danny followed her gaze. It read a quarter past midnight.

“It’s not technically Valentine’s Day anymore…” She said, giving him a small smile.

“Still, I’m pretty much a shoe-in for worst boyfriend ever at this point.” Danny replied.

“Maybe.” Melissa said. “We can figure out what you win later.” She flopped back against the covers and Danny followed suit. They both lay there, staring at the ceiling, until Danny couldn’t take the silence any longer.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, keeping his eyes fixed on the fan slowly rotating above the bed. “I never really thought this would - would be an issue. I thought, maybe, if I just didn’t think about it, it would just,” he waved a hand through the air. “go away.”

“But it didn’t?”

“No. It didn’t.” Danny sighed. He was exhausted. This was too much to deal with all at once. He wished he had never suggested that they all hang out together.

“Well, I guess it’s better I find out now.” Melissa finally said. She turned her head to look at Danny, an impish grin on her face. “You were a little old for me anyways.” She added. Danny covered his face with his hands and started laughing hysterically. It wasn’t even that funny, but he could feel the tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes, and he knew if he didn’t laugh then he was going to start crying for real.

As he started to calm down, Melissa reached over and grabbed his hand. Danny took the contact like a lifeline. He let it anchor him as they continued to talk, discussing what they would tell everyone, and when. Eventually, Danny realized that Melissa had fallen asleep, her hand going lax in his own, and he let himself follow her. The last coherent thought he remembered having was of what the hell he was going to tell Steve when he asked how their night went.

**-7.18-**

Danny looked up from the table to check on Steve and Lou, only to meet Steve’s eyes through the glass door. Steve stared at him for a long moment, his brow creased and his eyes intense with some unreadable emotion, until Danny smiled at him uncertainly and Steve looked away. Danny kept an eye on him as he finished his conversation with Lou and wandered back inside.

Steve didn’t stop sending him small, indecipherable glances for the rest of the night, and the looks weren’t helping the low-level hum of anxiety that had been buzzing in Danny’s stomach since the bomb had detonated. He’d expected it to go away after they were safe, but it had stayed with him the entire night, twisting deep in his gut and making him feel vaguely nauseous. The confusion he was feeling over Steve wasn’t helping either.

Danny didn’t understand why Steve had seemed so upset when he’d brought up his retirement. It wasn’t like Danny was going to put in his notice immediately, it was just something he wanted to start thinking about. Steve really was insane if he thought Danny could keep running after him to drag him out of trouble for the rest of his life. But Danny’s heart had nearly broken when Steve had started talking about being together even if they weren’t actually still together for whatever reason, retirement or death.

And then he considered how Steve had told him that he loved him, just in case starting the truck had set off the bomb, but had awkwardly tacked a ‘bro’ onto the end of the sentiment, like he couldn’t say it without making it clear that it was just meant in a brotherly manner. Even then, under the guise of friendship, Danny hadn’t been able to say it back.

He was sick over it. It could have been his last chance to tell Steve, and he still hadn’t been able to open his mouth. He’d said it before, so Steve knew, of course Steve knew. Maybe he didn’t get the full extent of what Danny meant when he said it, but he knew that Danny cared for him. But if that bomb had gone off then, or if they hadn’t gotten far enough away from the blast radius, or if Steve hadn’t flipped the truck, or if they hadn’t been able to get the uranium out… Danny clenched his teeth. He had to stop. ‘What ifs’ weren’t going to help, and there was always the biggest ‘what if’ to think of: what if he told Steve how he felt and, for whichever numerous possibility, Steve rejected him.

Silently berating himself for overthinking things, Danny suddenly realized that the get-together was winding down and Charlie was starting to nod off on the couch. Danny got up and started helping to clear the place. When everything was clean and everyone else had left, Danny carried Charlie to the car and settled him in the backseat where he promptly fell asleep again. Danny glanced back at the house and caught sight of Steve hovering on the porch, watching him with his arms crossed as he leaned against the doorway. Danny slowly walked back to stand in front of him.

“You doing all right? You’ve been acting weird since Lou got that call.” Danny said. Steve looked away.

“Yeah, about that…” He started hesitantly, and Danny frowned.

“What’s up?”

“The bomb… we were the targets. Five-0, HPD, the governor… the construction company that owned that truck was scheduled for renovations right outside the Palace tomorrow.” Steve said. Danny scrubbed a hand across his face.

“Jesus. Okay, well, Abati’s dead, so we’re kind of out of leads there.” He sighed. “Look, I’m exhausted. Not that, y’know, running around the jungle with you all day wasn’t great, but, uh, I’d like to go home and sleep for at least eight hours now. We can start looking into it tomorrow, right?” Steve nodded, finally meeting his eyes again.

“Yeah. We’ll find ‘em. Night, Danny.” He pushed himself off the door-frame and started back inside.

Danny had barely started to move when Steve suddenly stopped and turned back around. He came back towards Danny and briefly paused in front of him, before pulling him into a tight hug. Danny returned it, cautiously patting Steve on the back as Steve clung to him. A moment later, Steve pulled back, but he kept his hands on Danny’s shoulders. Danny watched as Steve pressed his lips together, frowning slightly, like he was trying to decide whether or not to say something, and the next second, all the air was leaving Danny’s lungs as Steve bent down and kissed him on the cheek.

“I’m glad you’re okay.” Steve muttered as Danny struggled to breathe.

“I - yeah, you too, I, uh…” Danny stuttered, staring up at Steve in shock. “I gotta get Charlie home.” He blurted. Steve let go of his shoulders and took a step back.

“Sure. Okay.”

“Uh, yeah, I’m just gonna… I’ll see you tomorrow.” Danny continued, backing towards the stairs.

“Right. See you tomorrow.” Steve echoed. His face was closed off, eyes dark and vacant.

“Okay. Bye.” Danny said. He had a sneaking suspicion that he was being a jerk, but he wasn’t entirely sure why. Steve nodded, turned sharply, and disappeared back inside, the door shutting quietly behind him. Danny fled to the safety of the Camaro.

He collapsed into the driver’s seat and grasped the wheel tightly, trying to slow his heart rate to a reasonable pace. What the hell was Steve playing at? He was an affectionate guy, Danny knew that, but he’d never done anything like that before.

Except, Danny abruptly remembered, he actually had. He had a vague memory of Steve kissing his forehead after Danny had fallen asleep in his lap the night he’d come home from New Jersey, after Matty’s funeral. He recalled Steve’s little speech in the hospital after he’d been stabbed by Melissa’s ex, how Steve had come into his room when he thought Danny had been asleep and kissed his forehead as he left. So maybe it wasn’t completely unprecedented, but it was definitely confusing as hell. Danny loosened his grip on the steering wheel and glanced at Charlie, still asleep in the back.

“Your dad’s a mess, kiddo.” He whispered. Shaking his head, Danny pulled out onto the road. Steve hadn’t meant anything by it. He was probably just relieved that they had both made it out of that jungle alive and was unsure of how to let Danny know, but that didn’t quite make sense. He’d been so determined to tell Danny that he loved him before starting the truck… and Danny hadn’t said it back.

He cursed himself the entire way home.

**-7.20-**

Danny looked up from the form he was filling out as Steve popped his head into his office.

“Hey. I’m leaving a little early.” Steve said, gesturing over his shoulder. “Gonna catch a poker game with Harry and a few other guys who, uh, knew my dad. I already told everyone else they could go, so whenever you want to leave, you can finish that tomorrow.”

“All right, thanks.” Danny signed one last paper before stuffing them all in a folder. “Could use an early night.” Steve smiled at him.

“You got plans?” He asked. Danny shrugged.

“I’m just gonna go check on Rachel, see if she needs anything. Maybe make sure I didn’t, uh, make things worse by talking to Stan.” He explained. Steve’s smile faded and he came to stand in front of Danny’s desk.

“Listen, you sure you’re not gonna… end up like last time?” He asked delicately. “I mean, if Stan thinks she’s still in love with you, he - he might be onto something, y’know?”

“She’s not, it’ll be fine.” Danny said, waving Steve’s concern away. “Like I said, I got a wonderful girlfriend-”

“Danny, I know you two broke up.” Steve interrupted. Danny froze, his hand still hanging in the air.

“What?” He asked stupidly. He knew he shouldn’t have said anything about having a girlfriend earlier; even Harry had picked up on how unconvincing it had sounded. “Who - who told you that?” Steve shifted uncomfortably.

“Lynn did. She, uh, thought I already knew. Melissa told her and Lynn accidentally told me.”

“Yeah, she seems to be making a habit of _accidentally_ giving out information about other people’s relationships.” Danny said nastily, recalling how Lynn had inadvertently told Catherine about Steve’s plans to propose.

“Hey!”

“And what I don’t get is, if you knew this whole time, why you didn’t say anything. I just have a hard time believing that you, the biggest meddler on the planet, could keep quiet about it for this long.” Danny continued.

“You were freaking out so much about me invading your privacy when I found that list on your desk, I figured I’d just let you tell me when you were ready.” Steve said quietly. “We always tell each other this stuff, right?”

“Sure, and the fact that I didn’t tell you must mean that I don’t want to talk about it!” Danny retorted, louder than he intended, and Steve scowled at him.

“Fine. Don’t talk to me. Have a nice time at Rachel’s.” He said, a small sneer on his lips.

“Leave her out of this.” Danny warned him.

“Hey, _you_ came to _me_ about that.” Steve said indignantly. “You asked me for advice.”

“No, I was keeping it to myself. _You_ dragged it out of me in the car, in front of an audience, I might add. Coming to you about Stan was clearly a mistake.” Danny snapped. Steve jerked back towards the door.

“Whatever, Danny.” He shot one last look at Danny over his shoulder, his brows drawn together and his mouth curved down, the tiniest hint of a pout on his lips, before he stormed out of the office. Danny rubbed at his forehead, feeling a headache creeping up on him, and then he stood and followed Steve.

“Steve, c’mon, wait.” He called after him. Steve stopped, but he didn’t turn around.

“What.”

“I’m sorry, okay? I should’ve told you about Melissa.” Danny wasn’t entirely sure why he was the one apologizing. He hadn’t done anything wrong by keeping his personal life, well, personal. But Steve turned to look at him, his eyes bright, a tiny smile on his face, and Danny melted.

“Yeah? I’m sorry, too. I didn’t know you guys were having problems.” He said. Danny shrugged, unwilling to let Steve in on the details of why they had broken up. “Look, I can cancel with Harry if you wanna go grab a beer or something.” Steve suddenly offered. Danny shook his head.

“No, absolutely not. I mean, I appreciate the offer, but I really gotta check on Rachel. And you - you go meet those guys, hear about your dad, okay?”

“Okay. Call me later?” Steve asked softly.

“I will.” Danny promised. He watched Steve walk out of the main office and hoped that Rachel would go easy on him for interfering with her affairs. He wasn’t sure he could take any more relationship drama for the day.

**-7.22-**

Danny rushed into the warehouse, gun up, scanning the room for any sign of Steve or Campbell. His gaze landed on a bloody sheet of plastic wrap crumpled on the floor and his heart stopped. It was unusual for Steve to be caught off guard in a fight, but Rider had gotten the drop on Steve earlier, even if it had been a vest shot, so maybe he was just having a bad day. Plus, the entire group had received military training, so it was possible that this guy had a similar enough skill set to Steve’s that he’d been able to overpower him. Danny’s crept further into the storeroom and his stomach sank as he saw two motionless bodies sprawled on the ground.

“Steve!” Steve was laying flat on his back, unmoving, and Campbell had obviously met a very grisly end. Danny winced to see the rebar sticking through his chest, but he quickly focused back on Steve. He hurried to his side and Steve blinked up at him blearily, blood smeared across most of his face. Danny knelt down next to him and carefully lifted Steve’s head into his lap, gently trying to wipe some of the blood away from his eyes. “You okay, babe?”

“M’okay.”

“What happened, huh?” Danny asked, running his fingers along Steve’s forehead. Steve hissed as Danny accidentally brushed against the cut on his head. “Sorry, sorry.”

“Better fighter than I thought. God, I’m tired.”

“Hey, you had a rough day.” Danny said. He noticed Chin enter the room and he gestured for him to go find an EMT. “You got blown off a roof and shot.”

“I didn’t get shot, Danny. It hit my vest.”

“Yeah, it’s still gonna leave a hell of a bruise. You’re pretty talkative, so I’m assuming Campbell didn’t, uh, mortally wound you.”

“Nah. Tried to suffocate me. Got in a few good hits, but I’ll live. I - I didn’t mean to, uh, impale him like that.” Steve said, looking a little horrified at the thought of Campbell’s death by shish-kebab. Danny stroked Steve’s hair and glanced at the body still hanging on the rebar. He grimaced and looked back at Steve.

“Hey, it’s okay. You did what you had to. Chin’s getting a paramedic now, so you just hang tight, we’re gonna get you cleaned up.”

“All right.” Steve said agreeably. For a moment, Danny wondered why he was being so cooperative about being seen by the medics, but then Steve closed his eyes, sighed, and turned to rest his cheek against Danny’s thigh. Danny’s mouth went dry and he stayed as still as possible, continuing to pet Steve’s hair until the EMTs arrived.

**-7.23-**

Danny opened the door slowly, half expecting his house to be a disaster zone. Steve and a five year old were not always the best combination, but Steve was just sitting on the couch in the living room, reading quietly, and it was all so unbearably domestic that Danny wanted to scream. Steve looked up from his book when he heard the door and smiled at him.

“Hey. Charlie asleep?” Danny asked.

“Yeah, I tucked him in about an hour ago.” Steve said. “He loves the room, wanted to stay up and keep playing. Bed’s a hit.”

“Good, yeah, that’s great. Thanks for watching him, by the way. I just… wanted to make sure Makino was okay.”

“Of course. He’s a great kid.” Steve stood, stretched, and tucked his book under his arm. “I, uh, I did tell him you made the bed by yourself, so, uh, don’t be surprised if he says something.” He added, yawning as Danny stared at him in disbelief, gratitude flooding through him. “I should get going.” Steve finally said.

“Stay.” Danny blurted. _Stay tonight, stay forever, I wanna come home to you for the rest of my life_ , he finished silently, biting his lip. Steve looked at him quizzically. “I mean, it’s late, um, you can just stay in the guest room if you want.” Danny clarified, hoping it was enough to save face.

“Oh.” Steve said softly, an oddly melancholy look passing over his face. “Okay. Thanks, Danny.” He turned and started down the hall as Danny watched, disappointment curling low in his belly.

“Steve?”

“Hm?”

“Thanks for today. I mean, the truck through the wall was a little over the top, but… thanks.”

“Saved your life, didn’t it?” Steve retorted with a grin. “But you’re welcome. Night, Danno.” He continued towards the room and Danny collapsed onto the couch, all the energy draining out of him. He suddenly wished that he could watch Steve take a left at the end of the hall, into Danny’s own room, instead of disappearing into the guest room along with the last of Danny’s hope for ever getting over him.

**-7.25-**

The first thing that really made Danny realize something was wrong was the fact that Steve had showed up to his office with a present. Steve was a sweet guy, but he never gave gifts for no reason.

The second was seeing the pills that Steve popped so blatantly in front of Danny, before brushing it off to address their current case, which brought Danny to the third red flag: the quasi-suicidal plan Steve had concocted to rescue the girls. Steve was flippant about his own personal safety on the best of days and careless with Danny’s on the worst, but this was a whole new level of insanity, and it chilled Danny to his core.

Of course Danny had noticed something was off about Steve in the last few weeks. He’d seemed more lethargic than usual, tiring more easily and getting more distracted, but he’d just put it down to the stress of their caseload. It didn’t help that he hadn’t been hanging around Steve so much lately, spending most of his nights helping Rachel with the kids instead (and there was nothing going on there, no matter what Steve seemed to think. If only Steve knew what he and Rachel really talked about…).

But when Danny had seen him come out of the bathroom, pale, shaking, and sweaty, he had immediately recognized the look of someone who had just been vomiting. Steve had, of course, brushed the radiation poisoning off as nothing, something to worry about the consequences of later down the line, but the hand he pressed to Danny’s cheek, and his reassurance that he loved him had felt so final that it left Danny shaking.

He managed to keep it together until the party was almost over, and he caught up with Chin as he was nearing the door.

“Hey, you heard from Kono yet?” Danny asked. Chin shook his head.

“No, I haven’t. I have no idea where she is. I’ll call Adam if I don’t hear from her in the next hour.” He said. 

“All right, let me know.” Danny said, smiling at Abby as she walked over to them. “Listen, can you do me a favor and watch Charlie for a minute? There’s just something I… I gotta talk to Steve about something real quick.”

“Of course.” Abby said, and Chin nodded, looking at him thoughtfully. Danny thanked them and, not wanting to be under Chin’s scrutiny for any longer than he had be, quickly left to find Steve.

Danny found him outside on the porch, sprawled in a chair, his head resting on the back of it. He opened his eyes as Danny approached and gave him a wan smile.

“Hey. Where’s Charlie? I wanna say good night.”

“Chin and Abby are watching him for a second.” Danny leaned over Steve and ran his knuckles gently down the side of Steve’s face. “I just wanted to talk to you.” Steve pressed into the touch and groaned.

“Ugh, Danny, do we have to do this now?”

“I think we should.” Danny said quietly. He lowered himself carefully onto the arm of the chair and was almost immediately knocked off when Steve leaned against him, resting his head against Danny’s chest. Danny wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulders, only partially to steady himself. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Didn’t want you to worry.” Steve mumbled.

“I always worry about you. Why wouldn’t you think I’d wanna hear about this? If not as your friend, then as your partner?”

“I didn’t want you to freak out. I know how you get, Danny.”

“How _I_ get? No, no, I know how _you_ get, Steven. Thinking you’re invincible, that you don’t need backup or help from anybody!” Danny stood abruptly, the frustration simmering under his skin forcing him into motion, and Steve slumped back into the chair. “You need to tell me these things! I don’t care where I am, or what time it is, or - or who I’m with. If you are hurt, or sick, or in trouble, you come to me!”

“I don’t know why you’re so mad, you knowing isn’t gonna change anything.” Steve argued. “What, do you want me to come to you every time I get a - a paper cut?”

“If that’s what it takes to get you to talk to me, then yes, Steve, that is exactly what I want!”

“You’re overreacting, I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal out of this.” Steve complained and Danny saw red.

“Big deal out of- BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, DAMN IT. I CARE ABOUT YOU, AND I HATE SEEING YOU HURT!” He yelled. Steve froze, eyes wide, his lips thin and his nostrils flared. He opened his mouth and then shut it again without a word. Danny bit at his upper lip as Steve stared up at him, shock written plainly across his face. If they had had this argument a week ago, Danny would have thrown caution to the wind and come clean. He would have sat Steve down and told him everything, explained exactly how he felt and damn the consequences, but now… now, Steve was sick. Steve was sick and there was a chance he would never get better, and he didn’t need the added weight of Danny’s feelings compounding his stress level. Danny closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I didn’t mean to yell.”

“It’s all right.” Steve said, his forehead still creased in confusion.

“Okay.” Danny dragged a hand over his mouth. “Okay. Here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m gonna pretend - very generously, by the way - that you never lied to me about the doctor. We’re just gonna pretend that, uh, never happened. What _you’re_ gonna do, is keep me updated from now on. I mean it.” He pointed threateningly at Steve. “You’re gonna tell me about anything else that happens, any doctor’s appointments, any - _anything_. You got it?”

“Yeah. I got it.” Steve confirmed. Danny nodded sharply.

“Okay then. What you’re gonna do right now though, is get your ass up and say good night to Charlie, and then you’re gonna go straight to bed.” Danny told him. Steve gave him a small smile.

“Yes, Mother.” He said playfully.

“Shut the hell up.” Danny snapped, already walking towards the kitchen, but he reached out and let his hand trail over Steve’s shoulder as he went by.

He had just relieved Chin and Abby from babysitting duty when Steve finally wandered into the room. Chin shot Danny a questioning look, but Danny just shook his head; Steve would tell them when he was ready. Chin seemed to accept that and he and Abby said their goodbyes and left. Danny lifted Charlie up onto his hip and instructed him to wave goodbye to Uncle Steve. He pinned Steve with a pointed look as they walked out the door, hoping Steve would actually listen to him and get some rest. Steve just smiled and nodded, waving them off as Danny pulled away.

Danny spent the rest of the night tossing and turning in his bed. By the time morning came, he had his face buried in his pillow, shoulders shaking as he muffled his tears and thought of Steve, his Steve, and the fact that this might finally be the end.

**-8.01-**

The office felt empty without Chin and Kono in it, and Danny spent a good few weeks wandering aimlessly between their old offices and the main room where they’d spent so much time standing around the table together, working on cases.

They’d been his family, they always would be, and when he’d first come to Hawaii, they had made it bearable. They had made it _home_. It was a crushing blow to lose them both, but they were moving on, doing good work, and Danny knew he had to accept that and move on as well. At least Lou and Jerry were still with them, and they had even managed to find another member for their motley little team.

Tani was absolutely going to turn out to be as crazy as Steve, and Danny was looking forward to rubbing it in his face. That she reminded him so much of Kono was part of the reason he liked her so much. It was probably also why he had inadvertently revealed a little too much about his true feelings while telling her about Steve.

And Steve… it had taken a lot of courage to ask Steve to be his partner in the restaurant, so when he had seemed less than enthused, it had stung. But Steve had come back to him with a smile, a signature, and a promise that they would work through this together like they always had with everything.

And Danny couldn’t wait to start.

**-8.02-**

Marriage was an odd thing for Steve to compare their business partnership to, but Danny had surprised himself when he realized he kind of liked the idea, so he dropped the argument that had been brewing on his tongue and changed the subject.

It became a lot easier to ignore Steve’s comment once they got to the crime scene and their case turned out to be a little hairier than expected. And Danny meant that literally. The dog quickly won the team over, including Lou, who was decidedly not a dog person.

Later that evening, Danny contentedly watched as Steve made dinner for himself and Eddie, teasing him about how much he liked the dog and trying not to think too hard about why he knew that Steve had a favorite cereal bowl. It was nice, just sitting in the kitchen with him, no pressing responsibilities to distract them, and Danny was pleased to hear that Kono was doing well with her case, and that she and Chin had apparently reunited, if a little sad to hear that she wasn’t coming back anytime soon.

Danny was genuinely disappointed when Steve discovered that Eddie was missing, bringing their conversation to an end. A sudden thought struck him as Steve made to leave, and Danny grabbed Steve’s arm just before he walked out the door.

“Okay, I actually do have some stuff I gotta do, so real quick before you go. How are you feeling? You been doing okay?” He asked. Steve rolled his eyes.

“Yes, Danny, I’m fine.”

“Don’t roll your eyes at me, I’m being serious. How are you? Any more spells? Are you taking your pills?” Danny knew he was being overprotective, but he couldn’t help it. Steve looked at him for a long moment and Danny fully expected an argument about his mother-henning to start, but Steve’s expression turned gentle, eyes going soft as Danny watched him.

“Of course I’m taking the pills.” Steve reassured him. He looked out the window and pursed his lips. “I’m not really throwing up anymore, but my head… I just get headaches sometimes. They’re not too bad.” Danny reached up and touched Steve’s temple, instinctively wanting to soothe any hurt that was there. Steve turned his head to look at Danny out of the corner of his eye, and Danny reluctantly pulled his hand away.

“They give you something for them?” He asked. Steve nodded.

“Yeah. I’m fine, Danny, really.” He said again. “Look, I gotta go find Eddie, okay? I’ll call you.” Danny stepped back to let him leave.

“Yeah, yeah, go get your dog.” He told him, waving Steve off.

“He’s not my dog!” Steve called, already halfway out the door. “Lock up for me, will you?” Danny rolled his eyes.

That dog was sticking around, he was already calling it. Steve was too much of a softie for anything else to happen, and a wave of affection for Steve and his compassionate nature washed over Danny as he locked the door behind him.

**-8.05-**

“You had something to do with Alicia getting that offer, right?” Danny asked, stacking his papers as neatly as he could one-handed and stuffing them into a folder on his desk. Steve glanced at him from his perch on the edge of Danny’s desk and grinned.

“Maybe.” He said evasively, before he reached out and tugged lightly on Danny’s sleeve, smile fading. “And for the record, I still wish you hadn’t come on that search with us. If you fell again…” Danny shrugged.

“Well, what’s a fractured elbow compared to a little girl’s life, huh?” He asked. Steve let go of his sleeve and stroked lightly at the bare patch of skin between the sleeve and the top of the brace. Danny shivered at the gentle touch.

“Again, I’m - I’m really sorry about the ladder, Danny.” Steve said, trailing his fingers over the metal components of the brace.

“Hey, come on, I said it was all right. I know it wasn’t really your fault.” Danny muttered, wishing his could jerk his arm away from Steve’s careful explorations. Steve looked at him, expression almost comically mournful, and Danny sighed. “How’s your latest charge doing? I finally met him, seems like a good kid.”

“I… yeah.” Steve blinked at the swift change of topic, but didn’t comment further on Danny’s arm. “Yeah, he’s good. Good kid, working hard.”

“You and your strays.” Danny said, shaking his head and smiling up at Steve. “You’re gonna be running an orphanage next, I swear.”

“Hardly.” Steve replied, pulling his hand back and getting to his feet.

“No, no, I can see it now.” Danny drew one hand in front of him to indicate a sign. “‘McGarrett’s Home for Wayward Kids and Dogs’. I’m thinking right over the front door.”

“You’re terrible.” Steve told him, smiling as he headed for the door.

“And you’re a pushover!” Danny yelled after him. Steve just lifted his hand and waved. “Big goof.” He muttered, but Steve’s concern over his arm had left him feeling more than a little distracted, so he cleared off his desk and called it a night.

**-8.06-**

Danny could admit that it was a little underhanded to ambush Steve right after his morning swim. Seeing Steve come out of the water made Danny regret it even more. He watched for a moment as the water ran down Steve’s very bare skin in little droplets and was struck by a sudden urge to follow one of those droplets with his tongue. He quickly focused on Eddie and tried to ignore Steve’s bright smile as he commanded his new partner-in-crime to shake all over him.

He had to focus. This was important, for both him and Steve. If there was even a chance that lowering Steve’s stress levels could help him avoid cancer down the road, then Danny was going to grab it with both hands.

Predictably, Steve was not quite as open to the suggestion. He listened as everyone put forth their worries, but ultimately shot Danny down. Junior, the traitor, even took Steve’s side, and Danny felt a burst of jealousy as he defended himself and his knowledge of Steve. Eventually though, Steve agreed to let the consultant they’d hired shadow them for the day.

Things definitely got a little awkward when Chloe wanted to discuss Steve’s sex life in the car. Danny certainly hadn’t wanted Steve to find out that he was still on good-enough terms with Melissa that she felt comfortable sharing things with him that Lynn had told her. So sue him, he was kind of keeping tabs on his hopelessly unrequited love’s current relationship… people had done a lot worse, and at least he was genuinely invested in Steve’s happiness.

His plan really backfired when Chloe tried to pin some of Steve’s stress on him. A wave of guilt immediately washed over him as he sat and listened to her talk about how stressful opening a new business could be, and he almost regretted his selfishness in asking Steve to be his partner. He couldn’t entirely regret it though, not when it had gotten him so much extra time with Steve, even if most of it involved arguing about color schemes and layouts. But again, if it meant Steve would reap any benefits from it health-wise, he would try to hold his tongue.

By the end of the day though, Steve had obviously had enough, and he dragged Danny off under the pretense of getting more drinks.

“All right, please tell me I’m not alone in - in how I feel about this.” Steve said, gesturing towards Chloe. “This whole thing is just ridiculous, are you kidding me? Diet plans? A treadmill desk? The self-regulating de-stress modulator, whatever she said, you having to self-censor? Please.” He scoffed.

“So you’re not gonna take any of her advice?” Danny asked, just to confirm.

“No, ‘cause it’s silly.”

“That’s good.” Danny said, disappointed that this had all been for nothing. “It’s a waste of my money, waste of her time.”

“Let me ask you a question. What’s with micromanaging my health all of a sudden? What’s going on?” Steve asked, fixing him with a hard stare. Danny looked away before figuring he had nothing to lose by telling Steve how concerned he actually was.

“Okay, because I’m scared that you’re not taking this seriously.”

“Why would you say that?” Steve seemed genuinely confused.

“When you told me that you had radiation poisoning, it was - you were very casual. It was like, uh, you were telling me you had, uh, eczema or something like that.” Danny explained as Steve exhaled and looked away from him. “And it was the same thing with the liver. I give you my liver, you don’t follow any of the post-op instructions. You don’t take nothing seriously. That’s why.”

“You’re exaggerating, all right? You’re over-exaggerating.” Steve said, a small grin appearing on his lips as if he were waiting for a punchline, and Danny laughed.

“I’m not over-exaggerating. I am genuinely scared for your health, okay? I lay up at night, I’m sick about it. I can’t sleep. I almost called that therapist to try and get another session.” He confessed. He didn’t tell Steve how he laid in bed for hours, staring at the ceiling and imagining the little radiation particles latching onto Steve’s cells and eating him alive from the inside out. He didn’t tell him about how he woke up sweating and shaking from nightmares where Steve just melted into nothing while he stood by, helpless and unable to move.

“Why wouldn’t you say something to me?” Steve asked quietly, his tone still disbelieving. There was a small frown on his face, like it was taking a lot of effort to process the fact that Danny was so worried about him.

“What am I gonna say to you?” Danny begged. “That - that I’m stressed about the fact that you are not taking this thing seriously about your own health? I mean, I - I’m not gonna put that on you. It’s my own thing. Wh- what am I gonna say to you?” Steve crossed his arms and blinked rapidly, staring off into the distance again.

“I’m scared too, man.” He finally said, looking back at Danny with something dark clouding his eyes. “I know I don’t… I - I don’t show it, but deep down, I’m scared. You think I don’t wanna live a long life? You think I don’t want to maybe get married someday, have my own kids? I love your kids, all right. Charlie, Gracie, I want to watch them grow up. I want to see Joanie grow up. I’ll tell you what I’m not gonna do. I’m not gonna obsess over something that might happen, and I can’t let you do that either. I’m serious about this. And there’s one other thing.” Steve continued as Danny watched him. “Please, whatever she said to you, don’t - don’t do that. Don’t change. I love _you_ , man, the way you are. I need it to stay that way. All right? BFFs, remember?” Steve pleaded, holding out his fist.

“Yeah, forever. You know that.” Danny promised, bumping his hand against Steve’s, a warmth spreading through his belly.

“Okay. Well, it actually - that’s what it actually means, is ‘best friends forever’, but-” Danny rolled his eyes as hard as he could. “You just did it then.” Steve said indignantly.

“I know. I did it on purpose.” Danny told him as he walked away. Steve followed, and they made their way back to the table, arguing good-naturedly, and a weight lifted off of Danny’s chest.

Steve sat back down, indicating that Danny should sit next to him while he forced everyone to scoot down the bench. Danny sat, and almost had a heart attack when Steve slipped a hand onto his thigh and squeezed. His entire body felt hot as he watched Steve seamlessly insert himself back into the conversation, his hand still resting on Danny’s leg. It stayed there until Kamekona brought out their food, and when Steve finally removed it, Danny mourned the loss.

He couldn’t even begin to imagine why Steve had done it, maybe he’d just thought that Danny needed more comforting, but he certainly wasn’t going to complain.

**-8.08-**

Steve and flying machines had never been Danny’s favorite combination, even less so after The Crash-with-a-capital ‘C’. So when they took on the pilot’s case as a favor to Steve’s friend, a nervous energy settled itself deep in Danny’s bones. The nervousness only got worse when Steve agreed to pilot the plane in the race in an attempt to help Elena.

Danny stuck close to him the entire way to the air field, staying with him even as Steve pulled on the G-suit in the locker room.

“This is, without a doubt, one of the stupidest ideas you’ve ever had.” Danny ranted. Steve zipped up his suit and grinned at him.

“It’s for a good cause, Danno.”

“It’s - it’s not, it’s a very bad cause, very, very bad.”

“Helping out a widow and her kid? You’re being ridiculous. It’ll be fine.” Steve said.

“Look, you’re a good pilot, I’ll admit that, but this is an entirely different skill set, Steve. These guys, they - they do this kind of flying for a living. When’s the last time you flew a plane?” Steve went still and Danny felt a little bad for bringing it up, but he knew Steve, and he knew that he’d try to match the other racers even at the expense of his own safety.

“It’ll be fine.” Steve repeated, heading for the door. Out of nowhere, Danny remembered a book he had read to Grace as a kid, and in an act of desperation, he reached out and grabbed Steve’s hand, pulling it close and pressing a kiss to the center of his palm. “…What are you doing?” Steve asked, his fingers twitching under Danny’s.

“‘The Kissing Hand’.” Danny mumbled, feeling his face flush with embarrassment. He let go of Steve’s hand, regretting his impulsive action.

“The what? Is this some weird Jersey thing I don’t know about?” Steve demanded, flexing his hand at his side.

“No, it’s a - a kid’s story, I used to read it to Grace when she was little. I just remembered it.” Steve smiled at him uncertainly.

“O-kay?”

“Yeah. Um. It was a raccoon and… and she would just, uh, kiss her kid’s hand before he left so he’d, uh, know she was… was with him.” Danny explained, feeling more idiotic with each word. “Sorry, it was stupid.”

“No, it’s… cute.” Steve said, giving him a shy smile. “I like it. Not too sure how I feel about you thinking of me as your kid, but-”

“Shut up, you know what I meant.” Danny cut in, still mortified at what he’d just done. “Obviously I’m not gonna be able to talk you out of this, so get. Shoo. Be safe.”

Steve smiled and walked out, and apparently didn’t take anything Danny had said to heart, because he did his level best to crash the plane anyways. Danny watched in horror as Steve careened towards the water, his fear freezing him in place as the crowd gasped around him, sure he was going to watch Steve die. He lifted an arm, trying to resist the urge to cover his eyes, when he saw the plane begin to lift and finally level out.

“Buddy, how you doing? You all right?” Danny demanded, his heart pounding a steady beat against the back of his throat.

“Yeah.” Steve answered, panting into the headset. “That was almost unpleasant.”

“That was definitely almost unpleasant. Yes.” Danny agreed. It was also the understatement of the year, if the way his stomach was still churning was anything to go by.

“Whew. Wait a minute. Were you worried about me, Danny?” Steve teased.

“Just put the plane on the ground, please, maniac.” Danny begged, ignoring Steve’s attempt to lighten the mood.

“Hey, I’m sorry. Did you just call me ‘Maverick’? ‘Cause if you did, that’s, like, the greatest compliment you’ve ever given me. Thank you, I love you.”

“Land the plane, you idiot.” Danny ordered. His fear had dissolved into anger, both at Steve’s refusal to play it safe and his flippant attitude towards almost dying. Again. If he hadn’t known Steve so well, he would have been surprised that Steve was more disappointed about coming in last than he was about not passing out and dropping into the ocean. As it was, Danny’s anger fizzled out when he saw Steve standing in front of the plane, and he dragged him away, offering to buy Steve a drink.

While the rest of the team gathered at Kamekona’s, Danny pulled Steve aside as he got out of the car. He wrapped his arm around Steve’s waist, pulling him in tight. Steve stepped closer, draping his arms around Danny’s shoulders, one hand coming up to cup the back of Danny’s head.

“You scared the living hell outta me.” Danny whispered. His injured arm was trapped between their bodies, knuckles resting against Steve’s stomach, so Danny gently rubbed at the spot where he knew the scar from the transplant lay under Steve’s clothes. Steve made a soft noise and Danny turned his head so he could see him a little better. The motion brought their mouths incredibly close together, and Danny hadn’t realized that Steve had bent quite so near to him.

“Drinks are up!” Danny was forcibly reminded that they were not alone as Lou’s voice carried over to them from the table. Steve jumped away from him like he’d been hit with an electric shock. His eyes were wide, mouth hanging open, and he looked almost scared.

“Sorry… sorry. Adrenaline’s a hell of a drug.” Steve muttered. The way his voice wavered as he spoke made it sound like he was asking Danny for permission to use it as an excuse. Danny gave him a thin smile and nodded sharply. Steve practically bolted towards the table at the motion and Danny followed at a slower pace. Apparently kisses on the hand were acceptable to Steve, but even the thought of a kiss on the mouth made him run for the hills.

Danny dropped onto the bench across from Steve, avoided Lou’s apologetic look, and stayed quiet for the rest of the night.

**-8.09-**

Danny was probably a little more prone to hypochondria than the average person, but being stuck on a boat with an unknown viral agent was enough to make anyone go a little crazy about their health. After they’d done what they could to process the scene, and after they’d torn the boat apart looking for the antidote, Danny was finally starting to feel sick. He was achy, and tired of the SEAL pragmatism that was radiating off of Junior and Steve, so Danny found a couch and planted himself there, fully prepared to wallow in misery until he died. Steve, of course, found him before that could happen.

“Hey.” He said quietly as Steve folded himself on the couch next to him.

“Hi.” Steve sounded out of breath, which was unusual and made Danny even more uneasy.

“Any luck?” Danny asked, more out of habit than any actual expectation of good news. Steve rolled his head back and sighed heavily before dropping his gaze to the floor.

“Junior and I looked everywhere. There’s no antidote on this boat. Marko must have taken it before he boarded.” Steve said. He looked utterly defeated.

“I’m gonna go ahead and file that under ‘really, really bad news’.” Danny said weakly. “More bad news.”

“How you holding up?” Steve asked softly.

“Uh, what are the, uh, initial signs of the virus again?”

“Fever, muscle pain, dizziness.” Steve listed off obediently, confirming Danny’s worst fears as he did.

“Yeah, I got all that. Check, check, check.” Danny said as Steve’s phone rang.

“Can you do something for me?” Steve requested.

“Yeah.”

“Try not to die before I’m off this call, okay?” He said, reaching over and patting Danny’s hand. Danny nodded slightly.

“Okay.” He replied. Hopefully whoever was calling had really good news, because he might not be able to keep his promise otherwise.

Around an hour later, Danny was relaxing as best he could on the deck, a blanket over his legs and a nice bottle of alcohol at his side when Steve found him again. He lowered himself slowly into the chair next to Danny’s and heaved a sigh.

“You raided the bar.” He stated, obviously too tired to even try to make it a question.

“Yeah. Fancy booze, I didn’t want to let it go to waste.” Danny said. “Figure I’ll be dead before the hangover kicks in anyhow, right?” Steve gave a low chuckle and lifted the bottle to his lips. “Do you want a paper bag or something?” Danny offered.

“What?”

“A very expensive bottle of champagne, you’re drinking it like a wino. You’re disgusting. Spitting all in the bottle and everything. What’s the matter with you?” Steve was quiet for a long moment, a heavy frown taking over his face.

“So, I just want to get this straight. You’re worried about my cooties _now_?” He finally said. Danny hesitated, looking out across the water. He wondered if Steve was going to bring up their almost-kiss, or if this was as close to addressing it as they would get.

“It’s a good point.” He finally conceded, taking another sip of champagne as Steve took another hit straight from the bottle. Danny suddenly desperately wanted Steve to know how he felt. Steve probably already knew, but Danny just wanted to be sure. “You know, um, I’ve been doing some thinking. And I, uh, want to tell you something. I want to talk to you-”

“You - don’t. Don’t, don’t.” Steve interrupted. “Just, let’s not, okay? Uh, I - I know.”

“You know what? I haven’t said anything.” Danny protested.

“I know what you’re gonna say. I feel the same way, all right, Danny? Let’s not do that. I don’t want to do that.” Steve wasn’t meeting his eyes and Danny paused. He took in the pallor of Steve’s skin, the redness around his eyes, and second-guessed himself.

They were dying. They’d been here before, but this was really it. There was no way a cure could be pulled out of thin air in time to save them, so this was Danny’s last chance. He wondered if Steve actually did know what he was going to say, but Steve’s admission that he felt the same way… that wasn’t right. It either meant that Steve had no idea what Danny was talking about and just didn’t want to have a drawn out deathbed conversation, or he did know and didn’t want to hear Danny say it.

Danny recalled how, months ago, Steve had told him he’d loved him right before starting the truck with the bomb in it, and wondered if Steve thought he was just trying to reaffirm their friendship. Danny’s vision blurred and he blinked, trying to clear his eyes. If Steve didn’t want to acknowledge Danny’s feelings, then he would respect that. He didn’t want to start an argument with a dying man, after all.

“You feel the same way about the waiting room in our restaurant?” Danny asked instead, just to throw Steve off. Steve lifted his head and squinted at him.

“What?” He asked incredulously. Danny launched into an explanation about his ideas for the waiting room while Steve listened, a small smile on his face as he nodded along. “It’s a great idea, Danny. I really, uh, I really like it.” He said softly. They sat silently for a minute until a roll of thunder sounded in the distance.

“That’s not good, is it?” Danny asked.

“No.” Steve whispered. Danny didn’t think a little weather could make things any worse than they already were, and he was exhausted, body and mind.

“Ahh, well, I’m gonna - I’m gonna go have a little lay down.” He told Steve.

“Okay.”

“I think I’m gonna be a little while, okay?” Danny said, reaching over to grasp Steve’s arm. Steve looked down at his hand, and Danny knew he had heard the implication that Danny wasn’t getting up again.

Danny was pretty out of it by the time Steve stumbled back to his side, offering him water and gently touching his face. He didn’t remember much after that, but the others told him how Steve had jumped into the water to retrieve the antidote and nearly drowned in the process. Danny was going to give him hell for that one.

Three days later, tensions were running high. Being in quarantine was incredibly boring and Danny missed his kids something fierce. He also missed not having Junior working out next to him for almost three hours a day. And he missed Steve.

Steve had been distant since they’d all been shoved into the containment room together, but Danny wasn’t too worried about it. Steve genuinely hated talking about his feelings, so he did that sometimes, pulling away if he felt things were getting too mushy for his taste. Danny guessed it was an instinctive reaction to protect his macho SEAL persona, and even thought it was annoying, he knew better than to think Steve was actually mad at him.

But when Steve started criticizing his idea about the waiting room, Danny realized something was wrong. He didn’t buy Steve’s excuse about not wanting to upset him while they were dying for a second. For a former Naval intelligence officer, Steve was kind of a terrible liar, and Danny was positive that he’d been on board with the idea while they were on the boat. Something had changed to make Steve lash out, but for the life of him, Danny couldn’t figure out what it was. Steve was probably just stressed about being locked in a room with three other people so soon after such an emotional experience.

It would be too difficult to get Steve to talk with Tani and Junior hanging around, so Danny promised himself that he would get to the bottom of the issue once he and Steve could be alone. He had waited seven years to talk to Steve. He could wait a few more days.

**-8.10-**

It was all a blur, really.

He remembered excruciating pain and being unable to breathe. He remembered small fragments of strange dreams and whispered reassurances that it was going to be all right. He remembered desperate hands running over his body and tiny glimpses of Steve’s anguished expression as his barked orders rang loud in his ears. He remembered Steve’s softer looks in the hospital, his gentle smile as he realized Danny was going to be okay.

The doctors told him later that his heart had stopped on the operating table. They told him that if Steve hadn’t done what he had, he wouldn’t have even made it out of that room. Danny wanted to thank him, but the room had been so full of people, and then Steve had run off, trying to track down a lead on the man who had shot him, so Danny just ended up sleeping for a few hours.

And now, Danny was watching Steve sleep. He had woken up disoriented and in pain, and had been confused by the presence next to him in the dark room. After adjusting his PCA and waiting for the drugs to take effect, Danny was able to figure out what was happening.

Steve was slumped in a chair next to Danny’s bed, his head resting on his own arm, his mouth open a bit as he snored quietly. Danny watched his shoulders rise and fall with each steady breath, studied the small twitches of expression that crossed Steve’s face even in his sleep. Then Danny looked down at his own right hand. The arm that Steve wasn’t using as a pillow was outstretched along the mattress and his fingers were loosely entwined with Danny’s own. He had obviously fallen asleep before he could think to let go. Danny lifted his free hand to lightly stroke at Steve’s newly shorn hair. The haircut wasn’t all that terrible, really.

“Oh, babe.” He breathed, not wanting to wake him up. “You’re gonna hurt yourself sleeping like that.” Steve shifted, a small frown appearing on his brow, and he made a soft noise as his fingers briefly tightened on Danny’s. Danny closed his eyes and let himself indulge in a fantasy. “Yeah… love you too, Steve.”

He could always blame it on the painkillers in the morning.

**-8.11-**

Danny was extremely glad that he’d taken the medication the doctors had prescribed for his pain earlier. Adam was probably right to be surprised that he was out of bed, and he probably shouldn’t have been so active while telling Charlie his story, but it didn’t matter. His kid was happy, asleep, and excited for Christmas, so Danny was counting it as a win.

Finding Steve in his kitchen eating his cookies was less of a win, but Danny was still pleased to see him. They ended up arguing about the cookies for a while before finally settling back on the couch. Steve carefully slung his arm around Danny’s shoulders and pulled him close. He pressed a kiss to Danny’s hairline and then shoved his nose into Danny’s hair, breathing deeply. Danny was a little surprised at the behavior, but he didn’t complain as he snuggled in under Steve’s arm and let his head rest against Steve’s solid chest.

“I needed to see how you were doing.” Steve said suddenly.

“Huh?” Danny mumbled. He was warm and sleepy, and Steve was incredibly comfortable to lean against.

“That was the emergency. I needed to know how you were.”

“Could’ve called.” Danny pointed out. Steve laughed, the sound reverberating in his chest under Danny’s ear.

“But then I wouldn’t have gotten any cookies.” He whispered, kissing Danny’s forehead again. Danny lifted his head to look up at Steve. Steve looked back down at him with soft eyes and a small smile. Their faces were awfully close but Danny didn’t move back and Steve didn’t either.

Danny chewed at the inside of lip and wondered… Steve had been so affectionate lately, all his gentle touches and his quiet concern for Danny, and suddenly, Danny was very tired of wondering. He leaned up and carefully pressed his lips to the laugh line at the corner of Steve’s mouth, barely staying for a full second before he pulled away. Steve’s eyes flickered back open and his lips parted as he drew in a deep breath, obviously about to say something.

Danny braced himself just as a cough sounded from Charlie’s room. Steve flinched and looked away, his breathing unsteady. He wasn’t meeting Danny’s eyes, so Danny ducked his head back against Steve’s chest, blushing furiously.

“You, uh, you take your pain meds?” Steve asked after a moment, his voice faint.

“Uh, yeah. Earlier.” Danny said, confused by the non sequitur.

“Ah.” Steve’s arm tightened around his shoulders but he didn’t say anything else. Danny had been ready to fall asleep minutes before, but he was wide awake now, listening to Steve’s heart beat a fast, steady rhythm.

“Mistletoe.” Danny blurted, unable to stand the awkward silence for another second. He supposed he had his answer about how Steve felt, so if Steve wasn’t going to say anything, then Danny might as well start making his excuses.

“What?” Steve asked.

“Mistletoe.” Danny repeated. “Grace, uh, hung some up when she was here earlier.”

“You’re supposed to be - don’t you have to be under it?” Steve wondered.

“You, uh, passed under it when you came in. It counts, okay? It counts.”

“All right, all right. I’m not gonna argue mistletoe semantics with you on Christmas Eve.” Steve said, laughing again. Danny pressed his ear closer to the source, wanting to wrap himself in the low rumble of Steve’s happiness.

“I appreciate that.” He said. _I also appreciate you not hitting me_ , he added to himself.

“Well, you’re very welcome.” Steve replied. “Merry Christmas, Danno.”

“Merry Christmas, Steve.” Danny tucked himself in closer against Steve and decided he would just enjoy the moment while it lasted. He would have to get up soon to get the rest of Charlie’s presents out anyways.

**-8.14-**

Danny was starting to get frustrated with all the complications that kept happening at the restaurant. The delays that had completely shattered their projected timeline, the arguments he and Steve kept having, and the lack of time to actually sit down and really work on the place were really starting to wear on him.

Maybe bringing in another partner wasn’t the best idea he’d ever had, but considering how slow they were moving, it was starting to look like the only option if they wanted to get this thing off the ground before they were sixty.

Although, Danny had to admit that he was secretly pleased at how eager Steve had seemed to keep the whole project just between the two of them. It was kind of sweet, really, his optimism that everything would work out.

The hurt look on Steve’s face as he’d pointed out that the restaurant was supposed to be their thing was maybe also a factor in Danny’s decision to let the third partner idea go, but it wasn’t something he was going to admit to Steve.

Especially if Steve kept making him eat those salads.

**-8.15-**

Kamekona left fairly early on, leaving Danny to sort out all their purchases with Steve and Vito. Steve kept worrying so much about the budget and the fact that there seemed to be about eight hundred dollars worth of equipment missing from their list that eventually Danny just sent him home.

He was starting to regret that decision (there was a lot of stuff and Vito wasn’t exactly in the best shape) when Vito started talking.

“You should tell him.” Vito said out of nowhere.

“Huh?” Danny grunted, hoisting a box of plates onto a shelf. “Tell who what?”

“Steve, your partner, who else? You should tell him.”

“Okay, that really only answered the ‘who’ part of my question.” Danny pointed out, his stomach already sinking. He could tell where this was going.

“You wanna be that way? Fine. Tell him you love him.” Vito snapped. Danny covered his face with his hands.

“This isn’t happening.” He muttered. “Look, I appreciate you coming all the way out here to help us, but, uh, let’s maybe keep it focused on the restaurant and not my - my personal issues, okay?” Danny begged.

“Your ‘personal issues’ are taking over the restaurant, what with you two bickering like an old married couple.” Vito told him.  “Tell him how you feel and you might actually get some sex out of the arrangement.”

“Oh my god! First of all, I never want to hear that come out of your mouth ever, _ever_ again. Second, does the entire family know? Mom, Bridget, you…” Danny trailed off. Apparently he just need to stop inviting family out to the island, because every time he did, he ended up having to talk about his feelings for Steve.

“You’re not that subtle, kid. Neither is he, actually.” He added, squinting at Danny. “You’ll feel a whole lot better if you just get it off your chest.”

“I - I can’t.” Danny said, dropping into the nearest chair.

“Well, why the hell not?” Vito asked. Danny blinked up at him as he thought about it.

Nothing Steve had ever said or done had truly indicated that he would reject Danny if he tried to say something. In fact, some of his recent reactions to Danny’s slips were downright encouraging. But deep in the back of his mind, a fear that Steve would react badly still lingered, and if Danny thought about it for too long, he started to get panicky. It wasn’t logical, it wasn’t evidence-based, but it was fear, and Danny’s fears often didn’t make sense.

“I just can’t, okay? Just leave it alone. Please.” Danny wasn’t about to try to explain his anxiety to his seventy-year-old, hardened Jersey uncle. Vito shook his head at him.

“All right. You not saying something is an even bigger mistake than this restaurant, but it’s your funeral.” He said, holding up his hands in surrender.

“Oh, thanks.” Danny replied, rolling his eyes. It was nice to have such a supportive family sometimes.

**-8.17-**

Danny watched as Odell and Lou talked with Steve in his office, a sour taste in his mouth. He knew he was being ridiculous, but lately he had been getting more and more jealous of the time Steve was spending with the other team members. It made sense, experience-wise. With Adam tagging along on more cases, it was safer if the three senior officers were paired off with the rookies, but it still stung every time Steve left him behind.

As soon as the two left, Danny slipped into Steve’s office. Steve was still sitting on his desk, and he grinned at Danny as he walked in.

“Hey. So, good news, Odell’s gonna be able to bring his case against the company to court. The state’s launching an investigation, so he’ll probably have enough to take them down.” Steve said as Danny settled onto the couch.

“That is good news. Glad to hear Odell is getting back to lawyering again.”

“On the side. He’s calling himself a ‘barbister’ now. Cross between a barber-”

“And a barrister.” Danny finished. “Wow, that’s, uh… really bad.”

“Yeah.” Steve agreed with a laugh. “So what’s up? You need something?” He asked. Danny shrugged, suddenly embarrassed.

“No, I just… I feel like we haven’t talked about anything other than the, uh, restaurant in a while.” He said.

“Oh.” Steve sounded surprised and his eyebrows arched as he studied Danny for a moment. “Okay. What did you wanna talk about?”

“I dunno.” Danny shrugged again, still uncomfortable. It wasn’t Steve’s fault that Danny was insecure about his place on the team and in Steve’s life. “How’s Adam’s special division going?” He finally asked. A worried frown appeared on Steve’s brow and he crossed his arms tightly across his chest.

“I don’t know. I mean, this whole thing with the chlorine happened, and I’m not too sure about Jessie. I don’t really know her. I trust Adam one hundred percent, but I’m just not sure he’s up for this.” Steve explained.

“That’s not on you, you know.” Danny said. Steve raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips, briefly tilting his head to the side like he was dismissing Danny’s reassurances.

“I know, but… I want him to feel like he’s contributing. I know he misses Kono. I want him to have something to do, and at the time, this just seemed like something he’d be great at. He has the background knowledge, and the skill set, and-” Steve broke off as Danny stood up and walked over to him, carefully stepping in-between Steve’s widespread legs and laying a hand on Steve’s forearm. He stared at Danny with his mouth still hanging open.

“You worry too much.” Danny murmured. “Look, it’s turning you grey.” He lifted his hand and gently touched the lighter spots that had started to show near the top of Steve’s hairline. Steve’s lower lip protruded a bit as he frowned at Danny.

“It’s not grey! It’s just… lighter.” He protested. “I was blond as a kid.”

“Oh, shut up, you’re still as handsome as ever.” Danny cupped Steve’s face and turned his head to the side, inspecting the new color as Steve uncrossed his arms and grabbed at Danny’s hips. “It makes you look kinda… distinguished, like you know what you’re talking about. You don’t, obviously, but it’s a nice bonus.”

“Danny…” Steve sounded breathless and he was looking at Danny with wide eyes. Danny winced as he realized what he was doing.

“Sorry.” He let go of Steve’s face and stepped back, feeling Steve’s hands slide off his hips. Danny’s heart was pounding so hard he was sure Steve could hear it and his entire body was trembling. “Sorry.” He repeated, backing towards the door.

“Danny, wait…”

“I - I gotta go over some stuff for the restaurant.”

“Anything I can help with?” Steve asked, looking hopeful.

“No.” Danny bit out and immediately regretted his harsh tone as a flash of hurt crossed Steve’s face.

“Did I do something wrong? We can grab a couple beers and talk it over if you want.” Steve offered. He stood, bit at his lip for a moment, and then held his hand out to Danny. Danny stared at it, far too tempted to say yes and go get roaring drunk with Steve, but he knew if he did, he wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth shut.

“I can’t.” Danny finally said. Something in Steve’s eyes shuttered and his face smoothed out and went blank. He dropped his hand and walked around his desk, sitting in his chair and roughly opening a drawer. He pulled out some papers and started scribbling on them.

“Fine. I’ll see you when I see you.” He said stiffly. Danny hesitated in the doorway and Steve glared up at him. “Was there anything else?”

“No.” Danny said and left, feeling like he’d somehow made a huge mistake.

**-8.21-**

Spending the day chasing after British royalty wasn’t exactly what Danny had been planning on doing. He’d been looking forward to catching up with Harry and, to a lesser extant, spending it with Steve. Steve, who had been avoiding him ever since their little moment in his office.

He hadn’t been obvious about it, but he’d been ducking out earlier and leaving Danny behind, making excuses about why he couldn’t be at the restaurant at the same time as Danny, and spending more time working cases without him. Danny had also been appalled to learn that Catherine had stopped by while he’d had the day off a few weeks back, and he had been quietly terrified that she and Steve had started their ill-advised relationship up again until Lou had put him out of his misery and reassured him that nothing had happened.

Steve was also very reluctant to keep him in the loop about Adam’s situation. Danny supposed he could ask Adam about it himself, but it was kind of an active case and he wanted to hear about it from his partner. He missed working cases with Steve.

And then Steve had the nerve to send him off on some obviously false lead on Sophie’s whereabouts, claiming that he and Harry could handle whatever turned up about the BMW. Danny was thrilled when Sophie was recovered safely, but his joy was tempered by the apparent grudge Steve was holding against him.

At least they all still went out for drinks afterwards. Danny hadn’t been out for ages and he was desperate for some time to unwind.

“Either of you boys seeing anyone these days?” Harry asked once they had settled, a strange glint in his eye as he studied them. Danny shook his head and expected Steve to jump in and start talking about Lynn. He almost fell out of his seat when Steve shook his head as well.

“What about Lynn?” Danny asked, looking at Steve in surprise.

“We broke it off recently. It was pretty casual, anyways.” Steve muttered, shrugging one shoulder and taking a long drink from his beer.

“Oh.” Danny said. Considering how upset Steve had been when he found out Danny had broken up with Melissa and hadn’t immediately told him, finding out that Steve had apparently hidden the end of his own relationship hurt.

“Hm. Well, plenty of fish in the sea and all that.” Harry said, clapping Steve on the back. “Maybe someone’s closer than you think.” Danny shot him a puzzled look, but Harry just winked at him and started regaling them with stories about his MI6 days.

He and Harry ended up getting a little wild as the night went on, but Steve spent most of it drinking quietly, listening to Harry talk, and shooting Danny indecipherable looks from across the table.

Something had broken between them and Danny had no idea how to go about fixing it.

**-8.23-**

They hadn’t worked a case together, just the two of them, in ages. Of course the one Steve finally chose to drag him along on would be the one that involved him fighting some mob boss’s grandson.

Hearing Steve tell him to take his shirt off, and having Steve practically snatch said shirt out of his hands was bad enough, but then Steve had to go and lay his warm hands all over Danny’s bare skin, and Danny had to admit he almost lost it. It was a good thing Steve was so wrong about Jin Leung being offended if Danny fought back, because he definitely took out some of his frustration on the poor kid. Although, Steve’s shocked look as he realized just how wrong he’d been had almost made up for the whole ordeal.

On the way back to headquarters, Danny noticed Steve looking at him almost shyly from the driver’s seat.

“You fought really well.” He said suddenly. Danny squinted at him suspiciously. He’d already been confused by Steve’s decision to include him in the Chinatown visit, and now he was even more confused by the compliment.

“Thanks, I guess. Still in the top five stupidest things you’ve ever made me do on the job, but who’s counting?”

“You, apparently.” Steve snorted. “I didn’t know you knew any martial arts style fighting.” He continued, a little too casually. Danny could tell he was dying to know the story behind it.

“Yeah, well, you don’t know everything about me.” Danny muttered. Steve shot him a wounded look, like he was personally offended by the fact that there were things he didn’t know about Danny. Danny sighed and took pity on him. “I used to take classes back in Jersey, okay? Started out as a way to, uh, let off steam, but I ended up really liking it. That’s it. No big deal, all right? I promise I haven’t been holding out on you with my - my secret ninja skills, or whatever nonsense is running through your brain right now.” Steve grinned.

“I dunno, Danny. Might have to test it out a little further, just to make sure.” He teased. Danny rolled his eyes.

“You’re the worst. I still can’t believe you made me do that.” He said again. Steve just threw back his head and laughed until Danny, caught up in Steve’s happiness, joined in. He hadn’t felt this easy companionship with Steve for a while, and he wanted so badly to soak it all in that he didn’t even complain when Steve took two wrong turns on the way back to the Palace.

When he finally arrived home, Danny fell into his bed almost immediately, still a little sore from the hits he had taken earlier. He stretched out along the mattress and looked over at the space next to him.

Steve blinked slowly back at him, a small smile creeping onto his lips before he buried his face into the pillow. Danny rolled over and ran his hands up Steve’s broad back, pressing kisses to his heated skin as he went. He shifted, lowering himself over Steve and groaning as their bare skin made contact. Steve let out a soft noise and arched, pressing his ass back into Danny as Danny thrust against him. He came with a low, guttural sound and bit down hard on Steve’s shoulder blade and-

Danny woke up to a mouthful of pillow and an empty bed. He squeezed his eyes shut while he panted, clutching at the sheets as a wave of shame washed over him.

Forty years old and having a wet dream about his eight-year-long unrequited crush. As if he could get any more pathetic.

Danny stared at the rumpled sheets on the other side of the bed for a long time before he got up to clean himself off. He made his way to the couch afterwards, turned on the TV, and didn’t bother going back to bed that night.

**-8.24-**

Danny wandered into work around nine and glanced towards Steve’s office, expecting it to be empty like it had been for the past week. He immediately did a double take when he saw Steve sitting at his desk, frowning at his computer like he’d never left. Danny stormed over and shoved the door open without knocking.

“Where the hell have you been?!” He barked. Steve jumped and looked up at him guiltily.

“Um, it’s classified.” He said, and Danny saw red.

“Oh no, my friend, you don’t get to pull that bullshit with me. You don’t call, you don’t text, I can’t reach you, nobody can tell me nothing about where you are! You and Junior just up and disappear off the face of the earth, and I’m left here wondering if I’m gonna see you again or - or if I’m just gonna get a ransom letter with your finger in it in a month!” Danny planted both hands on Steve’s desk and leaned down so they were eye to eye. “So when I ask you where the hell you’ve been, you better start talking _yesterday_.”

“Danny, I can’t-”

“If the next words outta your mouth aren’t ‘apologize enough’, I’m gonna shoot you in the foot.” Danny threatened. Steve stared at him for a long moment.

“It was Joe.” He finally said. Danny stood up straight, shocked. He hadn’t heard that name in almost a year.

“Joe White?” He asked to confirm. Steve nodded and got up, reaching across his desk and grabbing Danny’s sleeve.

“C’mon, over here.” He ordered, pulling Danny into the far corner of his office. He stopped and turned suddenly, and wrapped his arms around Danny’s shoulders. Danny tensed, hesitantly resting his hands on Steve’s back as Steve lowered his mouth to Danny’s ear.

Before Steve had disappeared, Danny had barely been able to look him in the eye following the dream he’d had. Steve had noticed his evasive behavior and had pulled away as well, resulting in a week of almost no communication between them, so Danny was confused by the sudden show of affection.

“Steve, what-”

“Listen. Junior got recalled for an op to take out a target in Nigeria, but he found out one of the hostages being held at the location was probably Joe, so he called to let me know.” Steve whispered to him. “I insisted on going with them to try and find him. We got there okay, but command decided it was too risky to storm the compound, too much potential for the target to escape, so they called in an air strike.”

“An air strike?” Danny exclaimed, trying to lean back to look at Steve, but Steve just pulled him back in close.

“Shut up. I’m not even supposed to be telling you this, it’s not… the operation hasn’t technically been declassified yet. Anyways, Junior and I went in to get any hostages out before the missiles hit. We ended up having to fight our way out, so that’s part of why it took so long to get back. That’s all I’m gonna tell you, okay? I’m - I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was leaving. There wasn’t time.” Steve fell silent, but he didn’t let go of Danny, so he let his head drop forward to rest on Steve’s shoulder.

“Is Joe all right?” Danny asked.

“A little banged up, but he’s fine.” Steve replied. Danny lightly stroked Steve’s back, subtly checking for any bandages that might have been hidden under his shirt.

“Are _you_ all right?”

“Yeah, Danny. I’m good.” Steve gave him a quick squeeze and stepped away, but he quickly fixed Danny in place with a curious look. “Before I left, I - I wanted to ask you something.” He started. Danny felt his throat close.

“Okay.” He managed to choke out.

“Just, you seemed kinda mad and I didn’t… did I do something?” Steve was looking at him like a kicked puppy and Danny sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“No, you didn’t do anything, it’s… I’m just kinda stressed, all right?” Danny wasn’t sure how to spin his avoidance of Steve into something more palatable without giving himself away. Telling his best friend that he was avoiding him because he had been in love with him for years and had recently had a sex dream about him wasn’t exactly an easy thing to put into words, so Danny bit his tongue.

“What’s stressing you out?” Steve wondered, suddenly all concern and worried looks.

“Stuff, just… stuff. We don’t have to talk about it.” Danny said, waving him off.

“We don’t?” Steve asked quietly. The kicked puppy look was back with a vengeance, but Danny forced himself to ignore it.

“No.” He said, a little too sharply, and Steve’s face crumpled.

“All right. Whatever you want, Danny.” He walked past Danny to the door and held it open, staring hard at the floor. “I gotta get caught up on some of the stuff that happened while I was gone, so if you, uh, wanna check on Tani and Junior…” Steve trailed off and Danny tried to catch his eye, but Steve refused to look at him.

“Steve…?”

“It’s okay, Danny. Just go.” Steve said. Danny chewed on his lip for a second before he nodded and walked out of the office. He turned on his heel just as Steve let the door swing shut, catching the handle and holding it ajar.

“I am glad you’re back.” Danny told him. Steve finally looked up at him and smiled weakly, and Danny could have written a novel about all the unspoken emotions running through Steve’s eyes.

“I know.” Steve murmured. Danny nodded again and left.

He didn’t know what had just happened, but it felt like something had shifted between them again, and Danny wasn’t entirely sure of the direction.

**-0.00-**

It had been a quiet day. There had been no pressing cases, all the leftover paperwork was finished and filed, and the entire team had left work early.

It was turning out to be a quiet night as well. The kids were with Rachel and Danny was alone in his house for the evening. He spent a few hours cleaning and doing laundry before he ran out of things to do and ended up wandering aimlessly around the empty house. After a while, he took his phone out and brought up Steve’s number, staring hard at the screen.

The lack of cases at work meant that he and Steve spent more time in their respective offices than following leads together, and with Kamekona taking over more and more of the restaurant duties, they hadn’t been spending much time together there, either. Danny missed him terribly. No matter how awkward things had been between them, he missed spending time with Steve. He finally hit call before he could talk himself out of it. Steve answered after only two rings.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Danny replied. He licked his lips nervously. “You doing anything?”

“Not really.”

“Okay.” Danny said and paused, listening to Steve’s soft breathing through the line. “Can I-”

“Do you want-” Steve started at the same time. They both stammered out apologies and fell silent. After a moment, Steve spoke again. “Danny, come over.” He said quietly. Danny’s heart clenched at his plaintive tone.

“Yeah, I’ll - I’ll be right there.” Danny told him.

He made it to Steve’s house in record time. Something in Steve’s voice had set Danny’s heart pounding and a sense of urgency was pressing on his chest as he drove. He didn’t bother knocking when he arrived, he just let himself in and, seeing Steve in the living room, collapsed down next to him on the couch.

Steve gave him a small smile, somehow resplendent in nothing but his sweatpants and a tank top. Danny glanced at the cover of the book he was reading; something about nautical history that looked to be at least five hundred pages. Danny yawned just thinking about it.

“Tired?” Steve asked sympathetically.

“Yeah.” Danny mumbled. He glanced around the room, suddenly noticing how quiet the house was. “Where’s Junior?”

“He went out with Tani. They took Eddie with them.”

“Oh. Nice they’re getting along so well.” Danny commented. Steve hummed an agreement and Danny looked over at him. He was staring hard at his book, obviously not reading anymore, and he looked distraught. Danny reached out and laid a hand on Steve’s arm. “What’s the face for, babe?”

“I don’t have a _face_ , Danny.” Steve muttered.

“Yeah, you do.”

“Do not.” Steve said, setting his book aside and staring sulkily at the floor. Danny didn’t reply, and Steve was silent for a long while. “You, uh, you haven’t called me that in a while.” He said suddenly.

“What, ‘babe’?” Danny asked. Steve lifted his gaze and Danny was shocked to see that his eyes were slightly watery, but he was struck by how green they looked with the added moisture. They stared at each other for a minute and then Danny took a deep breath, and an even bigger risk, and leaned over and kissed Steve’s cheek.

As he pulled back, he saw that Steve’s eyes had slipped closed. His breathing was fast and shallow, but he hadn’t pushed Danny away, so Danny leaned back in and lightly kissed the delicate corner of his eye. He reached up and gently turned Steve’s face towards him so he could kiss that beloved frown line between his brows. Danny moved down and kissed the bridge of Steve’s nose and the soft skin under each eye, before he finally dropped a light kiss to the very tip of his nose and drew away to look at him. Steve’s lips were parted and he was practically panting. He turned so his nose bumped against Danny’s, and they stayed there, just sharing each other’s breath.

“Danny?” Steve’s voice was so quiet Danny could hardly hear him.

“Yeah?”

“Is this going where I think it’s going?”

“Depends on where you think that is.” Danny said to buy himself more time.

“Danny…” Steve’s voice cracked and his hand was white-knuckled as it flexed on the arm of the couch. Danny suddenly realized that if he didn’t kiss Steve right then, he would probably never have the nerve or the opportunity to try it again.

He leaned forward again and carefully pressed his lips against Steve’s in a gentle, close-mouthed kiss. Steve let out a soft noise, barely more than an exhalation, and Danny leaned back to check on him. Steve gazed at him with half-lidded eyes, looking absolutely wrecked. Danny kissed him again and let his tongue slip out to taste Steve’s bottom lip. Steve grabbed a handful of his shirt and tugged.

“Come here.” Steve begged, pulling him closer.

“I’m here, I’m here.” Danny promised. He shifted so he could swing his leg over Steve’s, holding onto Steve’s shoulders as he straddled his lap. Steve clutched as his waist, his big hands almost circling Danny’s midsection entirely.

“How long?” Steve whispered. Danny cupped his hand around the back of Steve’s neck.

“How long, what?”

“C’mon, Danny… how long have you, um, felt like this?” Danny stroked the soft hairs at the nape of Steve’s neck as he considered.

“I think… pretty much from the start. But I really only realized it about four years ago.” He finally said. Steve’s expression shattered. His eyes went wide and glassy as his eyebrows knotted together high on his forehead. His mouth dropped open and he stared wordlessly up at Danny for almost a full minute before he cleared his throat.

“Only realized… four years? You being serious right now?” Danny nodded. “You never said anything…?” Steve turned the statement into a hesitant question, his big eyes pleading.

“I was scared, okay? I was scared you’d hate me. Big tough guy like you? Navy SEAL and all that… how was I supposed to know?” Danny said, hoping Steve would understand.

“I never hid it from you, Danny.”

“Well, then why didn’t _you_ say anything?” Danny demanded. Steve looked at him sadly.

“Seemed like you were always with someone else. You were gonna get back with Rachel when you found out she was pregnant, and then there was Gabby, and Melissa, and then it seemed like you were going back to Rachel again.”

“Rachel and I were never gonna get back together.” Danny said dumbly.

“And how was I supposed to know _that_?” Steve countered. Danny dropped his head onto Steve’s shoulder, suddenly unable to hold his gaze.

“We’re a couple of idiots, huh? I shoulda just said something.” Danny groaned.

“Maybe.” Steve agreed. Danny sighed into his neck and circled his arms around Steve’s shoulders, settling closer against him. Steve let go of his waist and slid his hands up Danny’s back, rubbing at his shoulder blades. “When did you, um, figure it out?” Steve asked eventually.

“Remember the building that collapsed?”

“The one that collapsed with us in it? How could I forget?” Steve joked. He sobered as he continued. “Oh. You realized then?” Steve kept stroking rhythmically up and down his back, and Danny buried his nose into Steve’s neck and inhaled deeply. Steve was so warm and comfortable that Danny never wanted to move, but curiosity finally got the better of him and he sat up and caught Steve’s eyes, a grin creeping onto his face.

“What about you? I fessed up, so how long for you?” He asked. Steve smiled and closed his eyes, leaning back against the couch.

“Since you punched me.” He said. Danny felt the grin slide away as he remembered the one and only time he had ever punched Steve.

“No… Steve, come on, seriously?” Steve opened his eyes and shrugged one shoulder.

“Yeah. You were feisty, I liked that you stood up for yourself, even if you were kind of annoying at first. But you had the most beautiful blue eyes…” Steve added, giving Danny another soft smile.

“And you, uh, you knew? You knew how you felt the - the entire time?” Danny asked, his heart racing.

“For the most part. I tried to tell you, y’know.” Danny closed his eyes, horrified at himself. How many times had Steve told him he loved him over the years? God, they had wasted so much time… Danny jumped slightly as Steve kissed his cheek. “Don’t - don’t, Danny. I know you, I know what you’re doing right now. What do I say about your negative thinking, huh? What do I always say?” Danny rolled his eyes.

“That I gotta stay positive.” He muttered.

“Exactly. So, okay, it took us a while to - to figure this out, but it’s… we got this now, right? We got this figured out.” Danny shook his head, once again amazed by Steve’s practicality.

“I just wish-”

“Don’t.” Steve interrupted. “Don’t do that to yourself. Just… we’re here now, right?” Danny nodded slowly.

“Yeah. All right.” He said reluctantly. Steve rolled his eyes.

“Just kiss me again, Danny.” Danny happily obliged until Steve ran his hands through Danny’s hair.

“Really, Steven? The hair?” Steve threw back his head and laughed. He seemed absolutely delighted by the length of it, repeatedly running his fingers through the longer strands with a slightly awed expression. Danny suddenly realized that Steve had probably never had a chance to try and grow out his own hair. He wouldn’t have had a choice in the Navy, and had probably continued to keep it short out of habit and convenience even after he left. Steve pulled a lock forward so it hung over Danny’s face and smiled widely at him. Danny smiled back indulgently.

“I wanted to do that since I met you.” Steve confessed. “I love your stupid hair. I love you.” He added. Danny’s stomach did an odd sort of backflip. He grabbed Steve’s face with both hands.

“I love you, Steve.” Steve gave him a perfectly crooked smile, looking up at him through his impossibly long lashes.

“I love you, Danno.”

“Oh my god.” Danny kissed him hard, a hysterical giggle escaping him as he rubbed his thumbs across Steve’s cheekbones. Steve reached up and grabbed his hands, and Danny laughed again as Steve placed a kiss on each knuckle, then two more on the small tattoos on the webbing between his thumbs and forefingers. Steve placed Danny’s hands on his chest and held them there until Danny smoothed them down Steve’s torso, tugging at the bottom of his shirt. Steve lifted his arms and Danny pulled the shirt off, letting it fall to the floor as he studied Steve’s bare chest reverently.

Bending a little awkwardly, Danny leaned down and kissed the scar beneath Steve’s collarbone. He ran a hand down Steve’s left bicep, finding the scars there, too, and rubbing his thumb across them. Someday he was going to spread Steve out, find every single scar on his body, and kiss them all. Danny finally looked down at the incision from the liver transplant. He’d seen it before, more than once, but seeing it now, when they were being so intimate, made his breath catch in his throat.

“Can you feel it?” Danny asked. His own scar was mostly numb. He could feel pressure on it, but for the most part the nerves were buried too far under the thickened tissue for any sort of sensitivity. Steve shrugged.

“Sort of. I guess I can feel the skin around it more than the actual scar.” He replied. Danny nodded, gently stroking at the thin line.

“Yeah. Me too.” Danny told him. Steve suddenly reached up and started unbuttoning Danny’s shirt. Danny let him get it all the way undone before he leaned in to kiss Steve again. Steve pushed Danny’s shirt off his shoulders as he kissed back, pulling Danny closer to him and holding him in place. Danny continued to kiss him as he shrugged out of his shirt and threw it across the room. He shifted and mouthed at Steve’s jaw, scraping his teeth over the stubble, and Steve suddenly rocked his hips up with a small groan. Danny pushed back and stared at him. Steve bit his lip, looking sheepish.

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean… I mean, we don’t have to…” He trailed off as Danny slid out of his lap and onto the floor, pushing Steve’s legs open so he could settle in between them. He rubbed at Steve’s thighs reassuringly.

“Want me to blow you?” Danny offered. Steve’s eyes widened and he licked his lips, his hips shifting nervously under Danny’s hands.

“Um. You don’t have to.”

“I know I don’t _have_ to.” Danny lightly kissed Steve’s stomach, then leaned his head against Steve’s thigh and looked up at him. “But I really want to.”

“Oh. Um. Yeah, okay, if you - if you want.” Danny grinned at him and started undoing the drawstring on his pants. Steve pressed his lips together tightly and his nostrils flared as he sucked in a deep breath as Danny slowly pulled the knot apart. Danny tugged at the sweatpants and Steve helpfully lifted his hips so they could slide down. Steve wasn’t wearing shoes, so Danny pulled his pants all the way off and tossed them aside. Steve was breathing heavily, and Danny could almost hear his heartbeat as he reached for his briefs. He tossed those aside, too.

Danny lowered his head and buried his nose in Steve’s groin. He pressed a kiss to the base of his dick as Steve groaned above him, and then he kissed his way up the shaft, licking the head before he opened his mouth and swallowed Steve down.

Steve let out a soft cry as Danny continued to suck him, his hips twitching hard under Danny’s hands whenever Danny licked at the underside of his dick. His back arched as Danny just barely dragged the edge of his teeth along his length, hands twisting on the couch as he gripped the cushion tightly. Danny stopped for a second to look up at him. Steve gazed back with half-closed eyes, his mouth hanging open as he panted hard, chest heaving. Keeping eye contact, Danny lowered his head again and kissed at Steve’s inner thighs. Steve whimpered, throwing his head back and closing his eyes, and Danny pushed at his legs until Steve lifted them onto his shoulders.

Danny peeked up at Steve once more before he lowered his head further and stuck his tongue out to taste Steve’s hole. A full-body shiver went through Steve when he touched him, and his legs trembled as Danny pressed open-mouthed kisses to the delicate skin, intermittently licking at him.

“Danny!” Steve said sharply, pulling at Danny’s hair. Danny backed off, nipping at his thighs again.

“Mm?”

“Ohhh… you - you gotta stop, or I’m gonna come right here.” Steve gritted out.

“That’s the goal.” Danny said cheerfully.

“Not here, not on the couch like - like teenagers.” Steve managed, his breathing still uneven.

“Okay. You wanna go upstairs?” Danny asked. Steve nodded and pulled his legs off of Danny’s shoulders, still slightly shaky as he got to his feet. He then reached down and, grabbing Danny under his arms, pulled him up as well. Danny scowled at him. “I cannot believe you just did that. In fact, I kind of hate you for doing that.” Steve just grinned at him.

“You love me.” He teased in a singsong voice. “Besides, you’re so easy to pick up.”

“I am not that short!” Danny yelled at his retreating partner.

“No, you’re perfect!” Steve called over his shoulder, already halfway upstairs. Danny huffed and followed him. He would have been angrier, but Steve’s ass had looked so fantastic as he walked up the steps that Danny got a little distracted. By the time Danny reached the bedroom, Steve was already tumbling onto the mattress. Danny hesitated in the doorway and Steve looked back at him, one arm thrown over his head, the other at his side, bent so his fingers just barely brushed against his chest.

“God, you’re gorgeous.” Danny breathed. Steve smiled shyly and Danny set about taking off his shoes and pants. “Touch yourself.” He demanded, unlacing a shoe and throwing it somewhere behind him. Eyes locked on Danny’s, Steve slid a hand down his stomach to his dick. He loosely grasped himself, giving a few strokes before he stopped.

“Get over here.” He ordered. “I’ve done this by myself way too many times.” Danny almost tripped over himself as he rushed to the bed. Steve laughed and held his arms out, and Danny fell into them.

He ran his hands over Steve’s skin, exploring his body as thoroughly as he could. Steve squirmed against him and stretched up to press sloppy, uncoordinated kisses all over Danny’s cheeks, lips, and chin. Danny nuzzled helplessly into the contact, wanting to feel all of Steve at once, but unable to decide where to start and unwilling to stop to figure it out.

His fingers met the scar on Steve’s belly again, and Danny groaned, moving down so he could press his lips to the raised mark. He slowly kissed his way back up it as Steve panted and grasped at him. When he reached the end of the scar, Danny pressed his cheek into Steve’s chest and rubbed his face against the sparse hair. After a moment, he lifted himself up, shifting so their dicks pressed together, and then he reached down and grasped them both. Steve clutched Danny’s shoulder with one hand, the other clamped firmly over his own mouth as Danny stroked them together. He started speaking but his voice was too muffled for Danny to make out the words.

“What? Babe, I can’t understand you.” Danny told him. Steve dropped his hand to the bed and gripped the sheets.

“Will you fuck me?” He asked breathlessly. Danny lost his rhythm as his mind shorted out, his hand stilling on their dicks. He sat there for a second as his brain came back online.

“Are you sure?” He finally whispered. “We can wait, it doesn’t have to be tonight.” Steve closed his eyes and ground up against him, pulling Danny closer and biting at his ear.

“I know. But I really want to.” Steve murmured, parroting Danny’s earlier words back at him. Danny kissed him.

“Okay, okay. We can… okay. Um, do you have-?”

“Right nightstand, top drawer.” Steve interrupted. Danny scrambled for it as Steve laughed at his eagerness. It took him a while to actually retrieve the lube because Steve wouldn’t stop touching him and kissing whatever he could reach. Danny finally managed to grab it and he settled back down between Steve‘s spread legs, uncapping it and quickly coating his fingers.

“Have you ever, um, done this before?” Danny asked, wanting to make sure that Steve actually knew what he was getting himself into, instead of just barreling into the situation blind like he usually did.

“Yeah. It’s been a while since I’ve, uh, been with someone else, but I, uh, you know… by myself…” Danny suddenly had a vivid picture of Steve in his mind, alone in his room, his legs spread wide as he fucked himself with his fingers or a toy. He snapped back to the moment as he heard Steve laughing. “Can tell you liked thinking about that. Another time, Danny.”

“Right. Yeah, of course.” Danny kissed Steve’s knee and brought his hand down.

Steve jumped slightly when Danny gently pressed at his hole, a shiver going through him as Danny lightly traced the small opening. He continued to touch Steve for a moment, letting him get used to the sensation, before he carefully pushed one finger into him. Steve bit his lip and let out an approving moan, and Danny reached up and started stroking his dick again. He slipped another finger into him as Steve relaxed slightly, pushing up into Danny’s hand and then pushing back down while Danny painstakingly spread him open with two fingers.

Danny continued to stroke him as Steve shifted and gasped underneath his hands, biting at his lip and crying out whenever Danny brushed against his prostate. When Danny finally had three fingers knuckle-deep inside of him, Steve was pushing his hips up to meet them and panting like he’d just run a marathon, and Danny figured he was probably ready. He pulled his hand away and Steve groaned, spreading his legs open further as Danny shifted closer to him.

“You all right?” Danny murmured, running his hands up Steve’s sides. Steve shivered at the touch and nodded quickly.

“Yeah, Danny… c’mon, please…” He begged, and Danny smiled, leaning down to kiss him again. Steve whined against his lips, pressing up against him, and Danny kissed him once more before he pulled away and lined himself up against Steve’s hole.

“Sure you’re all right?” Danny asked again.

“Danny! Yes!” Steve cried, and the desperation in his voice forced Danny into motion. He reached down and held himself steady as he slowly began to push into Steve.

Steve closed his eyes and tipped his head back as Danny thrust forward, his hands coming up to grab Danny’s shoulders. He ran them down over Danny’s biceps, massaging at the muscles for a moment, and then he dropped his arms and grabbed at Danny’s hands where they were braced on the mattress. Danny pushed all the way into him as Steve interlaced their fingers and gasped loudly. Danny shut his eyes, panting as he tried not to drive into Steve’s warm, tight body.

“Steve…” He groaned through clenched teeth, unable to force any more words out. Somehow, Steve heard the question in his voice, and he arched his back and picked his hips up off the bed in response, silently giving Danny permission to move. Danny squeezed Steve’s hands and pulled out slightly, then snapped his hips forward. Steve’s eyes flew open and he gave a sharp cry, pushing back against Danny as he continued to thrust into him.

Danny reached one hand up to cup Steve’s face, dragging his thumb along his bottom lip, and Steve opened his mouth and gently bit at the digit, running his tongue along the tip. Danny stroked Steve’s cheek before drawing his hand away and shoving it between their bodies. Their eyes met as Danny gripped Steve’s dick and gave a firm stroke, rubbing at the wet slit and angling his thrusts so he was hitting Steve’s prostate with almost every movement.

Steve’s head suddenly strained to the side and he grabbed Danny’s hips, pulling him in close while thrusting his own hips up to meet him, taking Danny in as deep as he possibly could. He let out one harsh breath before Danny felt him start to shake, his inner muscles clenching and unclenching around Danny’s dick as he came hard, his release splattering across his stomach. Steve clutched at his shoulders, still shuddering, and Danny pulled him closer, peppering his sweaty chest with kisses while Steve panted. He finally sank back into the mattress, bringing up a hand to pet at Danny’s chest and staring at him with hooded eyes.

“Danny, c’mon, want you to come.” He whispered. Danny pushed himself up to his hands, thrusting gently into Steve’s relaxed body, his channel loose and open. Steve closed his eyes, mouth dropping open as he sighed, still sensitive from his orgasm. “Harder, Danny…” Danny stretched up and caught Steve’s lips again, sharing air more than kissing, but he obeyed, snapping his hips forward again as Steve lightly scratched at his back. “Danny, Danny, Danny… I love you.” Steve chanted against his mouth, and Danny lost it. He pushed up into Steve once more with a harsh cry as the tight feeling in his gut uncoiled and spread across his entire lower body with a burst of warmth. Steve held onto him, murmuring soft endearments to him while he struggled to catch his breath.

“Oh, God, Steve…”

“I’m here.”

“Babe… s’amazing, you’re amazing. I ever tell you you’re amazing?” Steve laughed, rubbing his hands across Danny’s back.

“Feel free to start.” He mumbled.

“I’m gonna. I’ll tell you every damn day if I have to.” Danny stroked clumsily at Steve’s cheek, smiling when Steve pushed into the touch. “You good?”

“I’m good.” Steve assured him. “I’m so beyond good, I don’t even know where I am.”

“Me too, babe. Hang on a minute, okay? I gotta get something to clean up.” Danny told him. He gently pulled out of Steve, petting at his sides soothingly when he gasped, his hips twitching slightly.

Danny stumbled to the bathroom, managed to retrieve a washcloth and clean himself off, and then made his way back to the bed and settled next to Steve. He tenderly wiped down Steve’s chest and stomach, before carefully dragging the cloth between Steve’s legs. Steve shuddered as the rough fabric ran across his skin and Danny kissed him again, tossing the washcloth towards the laundry basket. He laid back down, leaning against the pillows and turning to look at Steve. Steve looked back at him, a hint of confusion on his face, like he wasn’t sure what he was allowed to do next. Danny opened his arms.

“Come here.” He murmured. Steve’s eyes lit up and he scooted to Danny’s side of the bed, flinging an arm around Danny’s waist and burying his face against his chest. Danny wrapped his arms around Steve’s shoulders and pulled him closer, pressing a kiss into Steve’s hair as Steve let out a contented sigh. Danny closed his eyes and settled back against the mattress, fully prepared to fall asleep holding him, when a door slammed downstairs and Danny’s eyes popped back open. He met Steve’s resigned look as he heard Tani and Junior talking downstairs while Eddie barked excitedly.

“I don’t want to move.” Steve complained, nuzzling further into his chest and wrapping his arm more firmly around Danny’s waist.

“We don’t have to.” Danny told him.

“Sir? Are you home?” Junior’s voice carried up the stairs and Danny slammed his head against the pillow in annoyance. Steve sighed.

“I’ll be right down.” He called as he unwound himself from around Danny and stood, a definite pout on his face. Danny got up and walked over to him, planting a kiss on Steve’s chest right over his heart. Steve cupped Danny’s face in his big hands and kissed him deeply. “I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you too.” Danny whispered back. They lingered there for a moment before Steve wandered over to the dresser. He pulled out a pair of pajamas for Danny from the drawer he’d cleared out for him all those years ago and handed them over. They silently got dressed and as they left the room, Steve reached out and grabbed Danny’s hand, leading him down the stairs. He halted on the bottom step and waited for Tani and Junior to notice them.

Tani took one look at them and burst out laughing. Junior looked slightly confused until she nudged him and pointed at their interlocked hands and then he laughed too. Steve grinned widely at both of them.

“You finally did it!” Tani exclaimed. Steve ducked his head and dragged Danny over to the couch. He gingerly sat and pulled Danny down next to him, throwing an arm around his shoulders and leaning his cheek against Danny’s head. Danny reached over and squeezed his thigh. Tani’s gaze dropped to the floor and Danny suddenly realized that their clothes were still strewn all across the room. “And oh my god, you started down here! We could’ve walked in on you!” She yelped. Danny flushed.

“Uh, yeah, guess we didn’t really think that one through.” He muttered. Steve snorted next to him.

“I waited eight years for this. The governor herself showing up couldn’t have stopped me.” He said.

“Oh, that’s good, babe. She coulda walked in while I was-”

“Eight years, huh?” Junior interrupted. Steve shifted and when Danny looked at him, Steve kissed him lightly. Danny usually hated public displays of affection, but he smiled against Steve’s mouth as he kissed him back.

“Ugh, you two are sickeningly adorable.” Tani said. “Like, I genuinely might have to leave. It’s like watching my parents make out.”

“Don’t be rude.” Junior told her as Danny pulled away and caught Steve’s gaze again. His eyes were soft as he gave Danny a small, private smile. Danny smiled back helplessly and rubbed his hand along Steve’s thigh.

“Danny? Steve? Helloooo, earth to someone.” Danny jerked out of his daze and glanced over at Tani. She had obviously called them more than once. “Is this gonna be a problem at work?” She teased. Steve shook his head.

“Not at all.” He said.

“You mean it wasn’t already a problem?” Junior joked. Steve stared at him in shock and Junior instantly looked nervous. “I just meant the staring wasn’t very subtle, sir. I don’t mean any disrespect…”

“No, it’s fine.” Steve reassured him. He nodded towards Tani. “Her, I expect it from, it’s just weird hearing it from you.”

“Actually, can I ask you guys something?” Tani broke in. Steve inclined his head and she pursed her lips for a second. “ _Will_ this be a problem? I just mean like, you’re not gonna get into a fight and the whole task force will go up in flames, right?” Steve opened his mouth, but Danny cut in first.

“A fight? You - you’ve met him, right?” He asked, pointing at Steve. “We’re gonna get in ten fights a day. He, uh, he’s gonna do something stupid and I’ll have to yell at him for it, but that’s what we’ve always done. We’re good, right, Steve?”

“Beyond good.” Steve replied, grinning wickedly, and Danny felt his face start to burn at the reference to Steve’s earlier assurance.

“There’s other people in the room.” Tani reminded them. Danny rolled his eyes at her and she scrunched up her nose in return.

“Speaking of other people, is this a private thing? Are you letting people know?” Junior wondered. Danny looked at Steve questioningly.

“It’s up to you, Danny.” Steve murmured. “I think we should tell the rest of the team, and, uh, I’d like to tell Chin and Kono, but it’s up to you.”

“I mean, we didn’t really talk about it yet.” Danny said hesitantly. He didn’t think Steve would suddenly abandon him after everything they had confessed, but he really didn’t want to discuss the future of their relationship in front of an audience.

“Whatever you want, Danny.” Steve repeated. “But I’m all in, if that’s what you’re worried about.” He added in a whisper. Danny studied him, marveling at the fact that Steve had just known where his thoughts had been, and after a moment, Danny smiled and nodded.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay. We can tell people.” He said. Steve gave him a brilliant smile and pulled him close again.

“He’s a lot cuddlier than I thought he would be.” Tani stage-whispered to Danny.

“Think about that a lot, do you?” He retorted, and both Junior and Steve laughed at the unimpressed look she gave him. Her reply was interrupted by Eddie dropping a toy in her lap and begging to be played with. She started a game of tug with him and the room filled with laughter and energy.

Eventually, the events of the day caught up with both Danny and Steve, and Danny felt himself start to run out of steam. Steve was pliant in his tiredness, leaning hard against Danny as they lounged on the couch and watched Tani and Junior play with Eddie. Steve yawned and snuggled further into Danny’s side, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like ‘I’m tired’. Danny kissed his cheek, heart brimming with fondness as he felt Steve’s face twitch into a smile under his lips. The room fell silent and Danny glanced over at Tani and Junior. They both stared back with knowing grins. Danny smiled faintly at them as he got up and pulled Steve to his feet.

“Think that’s it for us tonight.” He said as he led Steve to the stairs. A chorus of ‘good night’s’ followed them up and Danny felt a burst of affection for their youngest team members.

He steered Steve into the bathroom so they could brush their teeth, and then pushed him back out towards the bed. Steve flopped onto his side of the mattress, but as soon as Danny laid down, Steve was halfway on top of him, burying his face into Danny’s neck and hooking their legs together. Danny stroked his back, breathing Steve’s name to him as he kissed his temple.

“Danno?” Steve mumbled.

“Yeah.”

“I’m glad you called tonight. I - I don’t think I could have… I mean, if you hadn’t…”

“Oh, babe.” Danny whispered as Steve trailed off. He didn’t want to think about how many more years it could have been before either of them said something. Steve mouthed sleepily at his collarbone, and god, if they were even five years younger, Danny would have kissed Steve senseless, pressed him into the mattress, and taken him again. Instead, he held Steve tighter and told himself that they had the rest of their lives to be together. “You wanna call Kono and Chin in the morning?” Danny asked. Steve nodded.

“And Mary. Maybe your parents? We should tell Grace and Charlie, too. Probably Rachel, I guess she should know. And maybe…” Danny laughed as Steve made his way through almost everyone they knew, both on and off the island.

“Okay, okay.” He finally interrupted. “We’ll send out a worldwide alert in the morning. Go to sleep now, Steven.”

“No, I just… you’re so important to me, and I want people to know.”

“It’s fine.” Danny reassured him. “But _I_ know, Steve, and I feel the same. You can relax a little, I’m not going anywhere.” Steve was quiet for a few minutes and Danny took a moment to silently hate everyone who had ever abandoned his partner.

“All right. Love you, Danny.” Steve said after a while.

“Love you too, Steve.”

There was a bit of shuffling as they rearranged themselves more comfortably against each other, but eventually, Danny heard Steve’s breathing even out, deep and slow and steady as he fell asleep. Danny shifted carefully to look down at him, taking in Steve’s expression. He looked blissfully happy, even in his sleep, a small smile at the corners of his lips, his brow smooth and unlined. He seemed completely relaxed and a surge of devotion passed through Danny at the implicit trust Steve had in him.

Danny never could have imagined that he would find the one person he loved more than anyone who wasn’t his own flesh and blood when he was uprooted to Hawaii eight years ago. For maybe the first time in his life, Danny allowed himself to let go of his anxieties and the creeping thoughts that told him what could go wrong. He simply pushed them aside, settled in with Steve, and enjoyed the moment.

This time, he knew he didn’t have to worry. He and Steve were in this to the end.


End file.
